He's gonna take you back to the past.
To play the shitty games that suck ass.
He rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea dump in his ear.
He rather eat the rotten asshole of a roadkill skunk and down it with beer.
He's the angriest gamer you've ever heard.
He's the Angry Nintendo Nerd.
He's the Angry Atari, Sega Nerd. He's the Angry Video Game Nerd.
da Da Da Dum(snap snap)
Da Da Da Dum da Da Dum da da Da dum?(snap snap)
da Da Da Dum(snap snap)
Da Da Da Dum da da Da Dum da da Da dum? (saying "fuck you")
Were you expecting uh, maybe, uh the Ninja Turtles?
Well, we're gonna play some
Fester's Quest and this is gonna get ugly.
So, there's Uncle Fucking Fester minding his own business sitting outside, then aliens come down and well, that's the plot of the game.
Fester's got to save the world from aliens.
If it happened in The Simpsons, why not The Addams Family?
Makes as much sense as Tim Allen fighting dinosaurs
Yeah.
So anyway, I'm just shooting these purple jellyfish things on the ground. What's the point?
They don't hurt you unless you deliberately walk into them and why is part of my body disappearing?
Anyway, they leave behind items,
but why couldn't they just have the items lying on the ground rather than having to blast your way through this shit?
Sometimes there's a bunch of them like stacked together in one spot takes fucking forever, it makes my fingers tired.
It's just another gimmick to make you buy a turbo controller, so I just picked up a better gun.
It does a little more damage to the enemies,
but it seems to dodge your targets; it just goes back and forth and if it touches anything it stops.
Now look at this. I just want to shoot this fuck face. God damn. Oh, and these sewer parts...
This is where the game really starts to take it in the fucking ass. It basically makes your gun useless and these green blob things...
Fuck them to hell. Instead of conveniently dying when you shoot them, they just multiply.
Come on, you fucking pieces of shit!
What the hell I do? I got my old gun back?
That's nice that it shoots straight,
but it's not gonna help with killing these things. Switching back to the older gun would actually be a nice feature
But not when you accidentally step on an item that downgrades your weapon. Come on, die!
Die! Jesus, they just keep multiplying. Without the dynamite,
there's no way to get through these things I have to keep walking back and let's not forget one thing: look at your life bar that's full life. I'm not kidding some life bar, huh? If you get hit twice, you're dead. Come on, you fucking pieces of shit!
They're still multiplying.
They don't die. They don't die.
Die, you fucking frogs.
Jeez, could Fester move any slower?
Ugh.
Yes, he can... if he gets hit by frog spit that is.
Oh shit! Come on. Oh, no. Oh, Jesus Christ, you fuckers!
Might as well continue.
What?
Continue my ass.
This doesn't look like continuing; you got the same weapon and items though. Whoppy fucking do, but you start back at the beginning of the game.
I can't cross where the hole is, which means I got to go all the way back through the sewers all over again
and deal with those green blobs again.
Goddamn!
This game better stop sucking ass or else I'm going to have to give it the finger. The middle finger.
Hate these frogs. This gun is useless, it just circles around everything. Look at that, It went completely
around that frog and it didn't even hit him. I can't even shoot because the house and trees are in the way.
I can't use the gun. I am so fucking dead, so fucking dead.
Oh, my God, if I could just get past this one gun, ah, shit. Alright,
let's try it again, but with the dynamite. Sucks to have to waste this shit, but it'll have to do.
Oh, when are they gonna stop, when are they gonna stop, when are they fucking gonna stop? Oh my God. Oh,
fuck. Come on alright. Oh shit. What? Two more? Where did they come from?
What the fuck?
What the fuck man, what the fuck?
Jesus!
Holy shit!
Well, I'm back at the beginning... again. Oh, why did you have to do that? I downgraded the gun again.
I think it's a shitload of fuck.
I think you better shut your ass!
Jesus Christ! God, come on.
Just want to get down there.
Geez, could... is these enough fucking frogs? Look, I downgraded the gun again. All right,
I'm gonna go in that house there... if I can fucking make it.
Alright now, we're gonna use a key to open the door.
Oh, nice, beautiful. It's one of those half-assed First-person sort of deals. In the 8-bit era,
it was kind of cool to see anything that looked three-dimensional, but it's a fucking pile of steaming goat shit.
There's a door. Is it the one I came in? Well,
let's see. Oh it is, but for whatever reason it takes you to the back. We want to go back in.
You're kidding me. I gotta use another key. What, does the door eat the key or something?
These mazes are such fucking shit.
I don't know where I'm going. Couldn't they have made any parts of it
look different or decorate the walls; have something to help identify where you are?
Wait, what's the point this anyway? Are there enemies to fight? No. Is there a time limit?
No. Are there any items to get? No, except I've come across one powerup,
but really is there any good reason to have this maze thing?
It sucks anus. Then you come up to this crazy, alien guy.
He's actually not that hard cause there's plenty of room to fight him for one thing, but he sure takes a lot of hits.
Well, I beat the game. That's the last guy. It's over.
That's just the first boss.
It's the last guy.
It's not. I know, but let's just say that it is because that's all I can take.
Well, we might have cleaned our hands of that monstrosity, but there's a ton of other Addams Family related games
and I'm willing to bet that many of them suck just as hard. Here's one
I happen to have, which I'm just going to throw in here for a bonus. The Addams Family on the Sega Genesis.
So you play as Gomez just walking around regular side-scroller. Oh, shit. It's a ghost.
Oh my fucking God. Then there's like monster broccoli, zombies, monkeys and spinning teacups and a ton of weird
unnameable things. So you're just going around jumping on things, collecting dollar symbols then there's a letter "A". I don't really know what it does.
Game's not too hard, but it's easy to die, if that makes any sense, and this is due to two fatal flaws:
One, the control is too sensitive.
You just slide all over the place and the other thing is that you have to be
completely accurate to jump on your enemies. Look at this,
I jump on both these guys one of them dies and the other one kills me. Like in Fester's Quest,
at the start of the game, you only have two units of life, so if you're like me,
you're gonna die and die and die and die.
All right, let's try harder. No fucking around.
Watch out for the penguins.
All right, we're just gonna... yep, there we go.
Yep, just keep on jumping. I don't care if I kill him just want to get through him. Alright. Oh here,
we go over - I got lucky there, I think.
Alright, just keep jumping the pen-- Oh, what? I jumped on him. What are you kidding me? Man, fuck this game this game is ass.
It's crappy, and it's kooky, a stupid piece of poopie. I'd rather eat my dookie
It makes me wanna pee. Sucking some ass...
Fuck.
Sucking some balls
FUCK!!
Sucking some balls sucking some balls sucking some ass
Fuck!
Makes me wanna see you as sort of diarrhea. It's worse than gonorrhea, I'm gonna take that pee