Hey there! Welcome to Work In Progress, a how-to series that's meant to help you
with everything from prepping for a job interview to boosting your confidence or
negotiating a raise. Here's today's question:
Sexual harassment has been talked about a lot, especially recently. Still, the majority
of victims don't report it or don't know what to do about it. Here are our tips:
Remember, if you feel uncomfortable, don't question yourself. Trust your instinct.
Sexual harassment is never your fault. It doesn't happen to you because of what
you're wearing or where you come from. It is never, ever your fault.
The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission or EEOC defines sexual harassment as
unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, or verbal or physical
conduct of a sexual nature. If someone's inappropriate behavior
affects the way that you work or creates an intimidating work environment, that's
sexual harassment. Examples of this behavior are: commenting about a person's
clothing, personal behavior, personal romantic relationships, or body, making
sexual or sex based jokes or innuendos, requesting sexual favors or dates,
spreading rumors about a person's personal or sexual life, impeding or
blocking someone's movement, inappropriate touching of a person's
body or clothing, kissing, hugging, patting or stroking, assaulting (touching someone
against her will or without her consent,) looking up and down or staring at a
person's body, making derogatory gestures or facial expressions of a sexual nature,
following a person around, it could even be something like displaying or sharing
posters, drawings, pictures, screen savers or emails of a sexual nature. If you have
experienced any of these behaviors, here are some of your
options of what you can do next.
Document as much as possible
Documenting is the most important step. You want to record dates, times, witnesses—anything that will
basically provide a paper trail. Also provide printouts of emails or any sort
of screenshots of text messages. Make sure you store all this information in a
safe spot, preferably unattached to anything work-related
in case you have to leave or get fired from your job. You want to be able to take this evidence with you.
Try direct confrontation.
Only if you feel comfortable doing so, confront your harasser and let them know
how their behavior was inappropriate. If you choose to try confrontation, be sure
to stay calm. Use your documentation to cite specific
instances and explain why they were inappropriate. It's also good to bring an
ally or HR rep with you to help facilitate the conversation.
Report to your HR / manager or tell someone
Find out what your company policy is so you
can follow those guidelines to file your report. Most companies have an
anti-harassment policy, and that should lay out what steps you should take next.
If your HR department is non-existent or not helpful,
try confiding in someone at work. That might be a co-worker or your direct
supervisor, but telling someone is an important step because it can help
validate your own feelings, and it can support your story if you end up filing
an official complaint later on. It's always better to have witnesses or
someone to corroborate your claims. This also might open the door to a
conversation about similar behavior towards other women in the office.
Although it may not feel like it you are legally protected from any sort of
retaliation from filing a complaint. If you don't feel safe filing a complaint
through your work, remember that you can always file through the EEOC.
File a complaint with the EEOC
Remember, you are federally protected and sexual
harassment is never okay. It's a form of sexual discrimination and it's never
allowed. The EEOC allows you to file a complaint
confidentially if you choose. So if you don't feel safe making it public, you can
definitely do it privately through them. Just make sure that your company has 15
employees or more, or else the law doesn't apply. Remember that time is a
factor. You must file within a hundred and eighty days from the behavior. It can
be extended in some cases to 300 days, but we recommend doing it within 180
days just to be safe. To learn more about filing an official charge of employment
discrimination, visit the EEOC website, which we've linked in the description
below. Their website has tons of helpful information and FAQ's.
Leave
Bottom line, if you feel unsafe, you can always just leave. You are not trapped, and you are in
control of your career and also your happiness. I know that sometimes power
structures can make you feel a little bit cornered or unsafe, but just always
remember that if you're feeling a little bit trapped or uncomfortable in your
work environment, please, just leave. If you're feeling lost or like you don't
know what your options are, try calling a hotline to talk to a trained
professional. The Feminist Majority foundation has a list of hotlines you
can choose from to get help. We've linked to that and the RAINN hotline in the
description below. Please, always remember to take care of yourself.