Christian preacher Joel Osteen and his wife Victoria have remained married for over 30
years, weathering fame and controversy as a unified pair. Still, that's not to say their
relationship has been without its oddities. These are some of the weirdest things about
Joel Osteen's marriage.
Joel Osteen has taken a page out of the Mike Pence playbook. Like the 48th vice president,
The Christian Post explained that the pastor follows what's commonly known as the "Billy
Graham Rule". Like Graham, the late American evangelist, Osteen avoids spending time alone
with any woman who is not his wife, which reportedly helps him avoid some of the scandals
that have plagued the Christian church. Osteen told The Christian Post:
"I do [follow the rule] and I always have, and my father did too. I think the key for
me on that is to start every day — I take the first half hour of every day to search
my own heart to ask God, 'Am I on track and doing this for the right reasons? Am I following
what you want me to do?'"
According to HuffPost, this is fairly common among conservatives. While it may work to
avoid the appearance of infidelity in a marriage or whatever temptation would be just too much
to possibly bear, Vox pointed out that the practice has been widely criticized because
it could prevent women from advancing their careers. Beyond that, it violates workplace
discrimination laws in some professional atmospheres where men get solo face time and women do
not.
Joel Osteen has some very specific advice for married couples: Wives should go to Victoria's
Secret and pick up something sexy. Okay, then! The pastor made these comments earlier in
his career, so he would've perhaps chosen different words today, but in an interview
with CNN, he revealed the sentiment still stands. He told CNN,
"Wives, don't look good for everybody else. Look good for your husband, too."
The pastor's wife Victoria chimed in and agreed,
"Don't wear that same old bathrobe you've been wearing for the last 10 years. That's
what he meant. We all needed to be reminded, you know, that, 'Hey, you know what? We do
need to take that extra time.'"
Joel and Victoria Osteen were together long before either of them became pastors. Joel
worked for his father, who was also a pastor, and Victoria worked for her family's jewelry
business. In an interview with HuffPost in 2013, Joel admitted that he felt like he,
quote, "never had it in [him]" to go up in front of the church and preach. His father
asked him countless times throughout his life, but he only agreed to fill in once his dad
was on dialysis. Less than a week after Joel ministered for the first time, his father
passed away, leaving him with a new and lasting purpose. He explained,
"It was several days after he died after the shock of that I had that same desire to step
up and address the church. It didn't really make sense. I hadn't gone to seminary. I had
only ministered one time. I never dreamed the ministry would grow but 14 years later,
here we are today."
In a interview with Get Up! Mornings with Erica Campbell, Victoria revealed that becoming
a pastor was, quote, "a whole new ballgame" and "something [she] didn't expect when [she]
got married". Even so, it doesn't seem like the pair has ever looked back. In Victoria's
words:
"Nothing's a surprise to God, is it?"
Like many parents across the nation, the Osteens have a boomerang kid. Joel and Victoria share
two children, Jonathan and Alexandra. While it's unclear if Alexandra has sprung from
the nest, we know Jonathan gave it a shot and soon came right back — albeit with a
larger sense of purpose.
In an interview with Click 2 Houston, Victoria explained that Jonathan went to the University
of Texas, where he got a degree in screenwriting, and that both children have always traveled
with their parents and helped behind the scenes. When Jonathan graduated, he hightailed it
to Hollywood for a week and stayed with some family friends while deciding if he wanted
to pursue a career in Tinsel Town. Instead, he realized his true purpose was at home.
Victoria explained:
"He did that, and he came back, and he just said, 'You know, I really feel like I'm supposed
to be here at the church, working in the ministry, trying to do what I can do to help, you know,
this message go out further.'"
Jonathan ended up taking on a larger role at Lakewood Church, occasionally even singing
and speaking.
If Joel Osteen wasn't a pastor, he'd have a great run as a couple's therapist. The star
certainly knows what makes a marriage work. He has, after all, been married for more than
30 years. That's a long time, and in an interview with HuffPost, he explained that the secret
is a sense of humor and respect, saying,
"When you can laugh and you can have joy, that's very healthy. Victoria is easy going.
She's very spontaneous and fun. I can hear her laughter all through the house. It sets
the tone for the house. [...] We don't always agree with each other but we make the decision
that we want to treat each other with respect."
"We take time to laugh everyday."
Clearly, Osteen's approach has worked. Some three decades and two kids later, you'd expect
some of the passion to die out, but Victoria told Get Up! Mornings with Erica Campbell
that she's still, quote, "crazy" about her husband, saying,
"I respect him. I honor him. You know, I think that's what it takes."
Joel and Victoria Osteen have avoided career-ending scandals, but that doesn't mean they've gotten
off scot-free. In 2008, the pair made headlines when Victoria was accused of attacking a flight
attendant.
According to NBC News, Continental Airlines' Sharon Brown sued the couple after the alleged
incident took place on a 2005 flight from Texas to Colorado. Brown claimed Victoria,
who was sitting in first class alongside her husband Joel, quote, "verbally and physically"
abused her and another flight attendant when they didn't clean up a spill on her arm rest
fast enough.
Brown, who claimed she remained courteous throughout the ordeal, alleged that Victoria,
quote, "threw her against a bathroom door and elbowed her in the left breast" before
possibly attempting to enter the cockpit. As such, Brown sought 10 percent of Victoria's
estimated $100 million net worth as punitive damages.
But, what actually happened? According to The New York Times, it seems an argument did
take place, as no one disputed the fact. The flight was also delayed and the Osteens had
to be escorted from the aircraft. In court, one witness suggested that Victoria was dismissive
of the two flight attendants because they were black, but both Victoria and Joel testified
that there was no physical attack. Victoria was found innocent after just two hours of
deliberation, but was ordered to pay a $3,000 fine for, quote, "interfering with a crew
member."
It's a good thing the Osteens don't seem to have a competitive streak toward one another.
The co-pastors don't just minister together at Lakewood Church, they're also both best-selling
authors.
According to Simon & Schuster's website, Joel penned a whopping seven books that managed
to reach the top spot on The New York Times Best Sellers list. These include Become a
Better You and Your Best Life Now.
Victoria is well on her way to doing the same. The co-pastor released her first book, Love
Your Life, in 2008. It reached the number two spot on The New York Times Best Sellers
list in a speedy two weeks. Beyond that, she's also a children's author and has released
a series of children's books called My Happy Heart, which serves as a resource for Christian
parents. According to Joel's website, his wife launched a charity in 2010 called the
Victoria Osteen Literacy Program, which helps give books to children who may not have access.
It's not completely surprising that the pair found success in publishing, since they've
got a lot of fans already. Simon & Schuster claims that Joel reaches more than 10 million
people a week in a hundred different nations with his televised messages.
Victoria Osteen seems to find herself in more controversies than her husband. In 2014, she
made headlines in the Christian press after a 36-second clip of one of her sermons went
viral on YouTube.
According to The Christian Post, the pastor claimed that Christians don't "obey God" for
God's sake. Rather, it's for personal benefits. She said,
"We're not doing it for God — I mean, that's one way to look at it — we're doing it for
ourselves, because God takes pleasure when we're happy. That's the thing that gives Him
the greatest joy."
Victoria was subsequently ripped apart online. Red State Dot Com editor-in-chief Erick Erickson
slammed her viewpoint by tweeting a clip from the 1995 Adam Sandler movie Billy Madison.
"What you just said is one of the most insanely, idiotic things I have ever heard."
Though the press was inarguably awful, Joel Osteen did have his wife's back. According
to Wave 3 News, the pastor claimed the remarks were taken out of context from a backstage
interview. He said,
"Of course we believe in worshiping God to honor Him and respect Him, but sometimes people
can take a little clip and make something out of it."
The Osteens aren't your average pastors. If the pair were to throw a dinner party, you
never know the kind of star power that might show up to say grace. In 2020, TMZ reported
that Joel and Victoria managed to get Mariah Carey, Tyler Perry, and Kanye West, to join
them in a virtual Easter service.
Most notably, West went out of his way to form a closer bond with the Osteens. According
to a source who spoke to People, Joel apparently made the first move and gave the rapper, who
took a religious turn with his gospel album Jesus Is King, an open invitation to Lakewood
Church. According to the source,
"It's true. [Kanye] is very interested in going and spending more time with Joel. They
are friends. They message each other a lot. They have deep conversations."
At the time, West had recently launched his Sunday Service, which was also part of Osteen's
2020 Easter service. He was hoping to spend time with Christian leaders and examine how
different churches operate.
Though the Osteens have been married for more than 30 years, it wasn't always smooth sailing.
Married life is an adjustment for everyone, even those who seem like a perfect match.
In a blog post for Joel Osteen's website, Victoria revealed the struggles she first
had in their marriage and credits God for saving their relationship early on.
Victoria was apparently very set in her own ways when she first tied the knot, and wasn't
happy when she didn't get her way. Relationships, though, are all about compromise. Thankfully,
the big guy upstairs stepped in, according to Victoria.
"God spoke clearly to me: 'Victoria, if you don't change the way you're acting, you're
going to change the man you married.' Well, that got my attention, because I didn't want
to change Joel's personality. I love Joel. That's why I married him. I knew that I had
to be willing to make some changes."
These days, Victoria and Joel sometimes disagree, but she revealed that they don't argue, exactly,
because Joel refuses to engage. Instead, they, quote, "walk in love" and "agree to disagree."
The reason Joel and Victoria Osteen's marriage works so well is because they share the same
values — but these values aren't necessarily inclusive or even mandated by law. In a 2009
interview with Larry King Live, the pair presented a united front against same-sex marriage.
Joel claimed the sacrament be exclusively available to opposite-sex couples, but that
he wasn't, quote, "knocking anybody" with his beliefs.
Victoria doubled down, admitting,
"There [are] going to be people who get together and have relationships and have what they
call their families. But I just think marriage should be sanctified by the church. It should
be between a man and a woman."
The Osteens continued along this line in later interviews, claiming that same-sex couples
weren't the ideal parents and even throwing single mothers and fathers under the bus.
Joel revealed that he believes raising your child alone or even co-parenting in different
households is somehow damaging to kids because it's not, quote, "God's best."
Joel went on to say,
"It doesn't always happen. I know a lot of people raised by single parents. And you know
what? We bless them and pray for them as well. But I think God's best is a male and female."
Regardless of their beliefs, though, same-sex marriage was declared a right in the United
States in 2015.
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