This is something I've cultivated for a long time
and avoided things that make me unhappy and figured out what those things are
and been very rigid about eliminating them from my life.
And one of the big ones is eliminating interactions with people that are negative.
That is gigantic. Because I've realized that I'm not really
as independent as I used to like to think I was.
I still like to think that my thought process was independent
and that I don't give a f**k what anybody thinks.
That's nonsense. People say that because they absolutely care
what people think and it bothers them. So they say: “I don't give a f**k”.
But that I don't give a f**k stuff is almost entirely nonsense.
You do care. And you care in both ways.
You care if people critical of you, care if people are positive you
but you also care if people are living positive lives
and they're motivating you. That's a big one.
People are fuel. It's one of the reasons why I like talking
to people. One of the reasons why I like to do podcasts
because I get a lot out just talking to you about your time in the
monastery or your push to get to that hundred miles
like you get energy out of people like that and you think about this energy
and you think about this inspiration when you're doing other things.
And it also sets in your mind that when you meet these exceptional people that
move you like, what are their characters?
What are the qualities that they have? What are the characteristics that they possess?
And those things become significant and important to you.
Whereas if you live around a bunch of people that are complaining
and bitching about everything, and they see the negative in everything,
and they're always whining those people are the opposite of that.
They're the opposite of inspiration. They're just, they're mud,
It's like you're up to your ankles in mud and you try to trudge through life.
It's difficult, you're not light it's not pushing you,
it's not a wind at your back. The wind is in your face and it's rough.
And over time I've learned that these people you're just not going to
fix them. I used to want to fix them when I was young.
I used to want to go: “hey man I see what you're doing”.
Like: “dude, don't do that anymore”. Listen : “just try, just do this and
stop doing that, and start doing this and if you just work towards this you could be
successful”. And then a week later the guy is doing the
same shit. I'm wasting a significant amount of my energy
on someone who doesn't want to waste any of their energy on themselves.
And so managing the community and the tribe that you're in.
Making sure that you're a good member of that tribe,
that you are doing your part. And when you're around happy
inspirational people that are successful it makes you feel better and you get inspired
and if you act on that inspiration your life will be more fulfilled.
And it's not just inspirational in terms of financial success
but in terms of doing difficult things whether it's running 100 miles doesn't pay
you a goddamn thing other than the wealth of the knowledge
that you can push yourself to such an extreme. Or anything else, whether it's someone who
becomes really good at playing chess
or someone who's really good at martial arts or whatever it is.
There’s a great feeling in overcoming these difficult things
because life is never this just constant state of
“I'm at a 9 all day and when I'm with my wife I hit 10 yay,
and I stay like that”. That's not real.
What's real is like you saying that you
went to this monastery and felt all this this angst about meditating and being alone
and not having your phone and not having the input but then when it
comes out of it then you have this reward.
So you push through this and you had these uncomfortable feelings
and you came out of those uncomfortable feelings with this newfound appreciation for time
and this newfound respect for your own existence in your own space and carving out three hours
for yourself a day. That's where it all comes from.
It all comes from life lessons and the lessons are learned through struggle.
But through that struggle I will now have a better day.
And I better f**king and do it again tomorrow, or do something else.
because if I just think about tomorrow I'm just going to coast and eat Twinkies and
watch TV. “Oh hello sadness my old friend, hello depression”.
Because when you're not doing anything you feel like shit.
And that's just a part of being a human being. And we can pretend that we're something
other than what we really are. And we can pretend: “nah man, I'm just cool,
just chilling doing nothing”. Bullshit, you're a fucking human.
You're a human being. You evolved from the f**king hundreds of thousands
of years of hunters and gatherers and people that were
struggling. Those human reward systems are carved
deeply into your DNA and if you don't respect that
if you don't respect the mechanism of happiness and fulfillment
and what you really need to do in order to feel satisfied in life.
Camaraderie, love, family, friendship, struggle, testing yourself, learning.
All those things are imperative. They're all a giant part of being a person.