♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK.
SAY HI TO OUR FRIENDION BAPEEFT.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I CLEAN UP MY AREA HERE.
NCHTSZ YOU CAN'T HAVE CLUTTER.
THAT CAN'T HELP WITH CORONA.
>> Stephen: CAN'T GET AWAY FROM IT.
ARE YOU DOING YOUR CHORES?
ARE YOU CLEANING UP AROUND YOUR HOUSE?
>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH, I DO CHORES.
I CLEAN UP.
I DISINFECT THE MAIL.
I DO ALL KINDS OF STUFF TO REALLY CLEAN MY KEYS AND MY
PHONE, I SEPARATE CLOROX WATER EVERYTHING AND.
LIKE MY BOYS WILL HURLIN REILLY AND SHANNON PAULEY MADE UP A
SONG.
IT GOES LIKE THIS ♪ DON'T LET CORONA
GET UP ON YA.
♪ ♪ I'VE BEEN DOING THAT.
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE.
I WANT TO START WITH A QUICK CORRECTION.
I WILL NEVER LIE TO YOU, AUDIENCE.
DURING THE FIRST ACT, I SAID THIS IS BOURBON.
IT'S ACTUALLY MOUNT GAY RUM.
I'M JUST BEING SEASONAL.
I'M HERE WITH MY SON JOHN.
GIVE IT UP.
MY WIFE.
THAT ONE WASN'T AS GOOD.
( LAUGHTER )
DO YOU WANT TO TRY IT AGAIN?
WE MISSED COMPLETELY.
ONE MORE TIME.
JUST THE TIP.
IT HURT A LOT, THOUGH.
THAT COWNTSZ FOR SOMETHING.
ONE POLITICIAN DESPERATE TO REOPEN HER CITY IS LAS VEGAS
MAYOR CAROLYN GOODMAN, SEEN HERE.
PRETTY SURE NO ONE CAN TELL SHE'S HUNG OVER.
MAYOR GOODMAN WANTS LAS VEGAS TO REOPEN CASINOS AND LET THE ONES
WITH THE MOST INFECTIONS THEN CLOSE.
THERE'S NO TELLING WHICH CASINO IS MOST AT RISK, BUT MY MONEY'S
ON "SNEEZER'S PALACE."
THANK YOU.
GOODMAN WENT ON WITH ANDERSON COOPER THIS AFTERNOON, AND HE
WAS HAVING NONE OF IT.
>> SO, YOU WANT STADIUMS OPEN?
>> I'D LOVE EVERYTHING OPEN, BECAUSE I THINK WE'VE HAD
VIRUSES FOR YEARS.
>> Stephen: YES, THEY'VE HAD VIRUSES FOR YEARS.
YOU KNOW THEIR MOTTO: WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS CAN BE CLEARED
UP WITH SOME VALTREX.
COOPER CONTINUED TO HAMMER THE IDEA.
>> CASINO OWNERS, I'M SURE THEY'RE PROBABLY DOING OKAY.
IT'S THE PEOPLE WHO ARE WORKING ON THE FLOOR WHO ARE THE ONES
WHO ARE GOING TO BECOME INFECTED, AND POTENTIALLY DIE.
>> YOU'RE TALKING DISEASE.
I'M TALKING LIFE.
I'M TALKING LIFE AND LIVING.
THESE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE HAD-- >> OKAY, THAT MAKES NO SENSE.
>> Stephen: NEITHER DOES TRYING TO REBUILD VENICE IN THE
MIDDLE OF A DESERT, BUT VEGAS DID IT, BABY!
THEN COOPER CHALLENGED HER TO GO TO THE CASINOS EVERY NIGHT, ONCE
THEY'VE REOPENED, AND HERE'S WHAT SHE SAID:
>> FIRST OF ALL, I DON'T GAMBLE.
>> Stephen: WELL, SURE, NOT WITH YOUR LIFE.
"COME ON!
PAPA NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF LUNGS!" ANDERSON TRIED TO TALK SENSE
INTO THE MAYOR, BUT SHE PROVED REMARKABLY SENSE-RESISTANT.
>> CHINESE RESEARCHERS HAVE SHOWN HOW THIS VIRUS SPREADS.
I JUST WANT TO PUT UP FOR OUR VIEWERS, THIS IS A RESTAURANT--
>> ANDERSON, YOU ARE TOUGH.
THIS ISN'T CHINA.
THIS IS LAS VEGAS, NEVADA.
>> Stephen: OKAY, THAT'S REALLY IGNORANT.
>> Stephen: HE JUST CALLED HIS GUEST IGNORANT.
AND HE WORKS WITH RICK SANTORUM.
♪ ♪ ♪ >> SLAM TORRUM!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH NATHAN LANE.