-Well, the Republican meltdown in the House
just keeps on getting more humiliating for the party
and, specifically, for GOP Leader Kevin McCarthy,
who has now, as of this taping,
lost eight consecutive votes to become speaker,
leaving one of two chambers of Congress in total paralysis,
as Republicans and Fox News hosts bicker with each other,
stab each other in the backs, and call each other names.
And I got to say, it's pretty fun to watch.
[ Laughter and applause ]
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
♪♪ [ Cheering and applause ]
Let's just step back for a minute
and remember all the predictions
of what Republicans thought would happen this week.
On the back of a massive midterm red wave,
the GOP would sweep into power and anoint Kevin McCarthy
as the forceful new speaker of the House,
who would use the GOP's new position of strength
to go on the offensive
against Joe Biden and the Democrats.
McCarthy even repeatedly made a very bizarre joke
about wanting to hit Nancy Pelosi
with the speaker's gavel
when she, inevitably, handed it over to him,
although, it didn't always make sense.
-Reporting about comments made
by Minority Leader McCarthy about Nancy Pelosi
during a Tennessee GOP dinner last night,
some pretty shocking audio that we're getting right now.
Listen to this.
[ Whistling and applause ]
I want you to watch Nancy Pelosi hand me that gavel.
[ Cheering, whistling, and applause ]
And I promise you this --
I won't bang her with it,
but I'll bang the end to the socialism
and yes to America.
[ Laughter ] -Are you
sure you didn't bang yourself with it?
[ Laughter and applause ]
"I'll bang the end to the socialism
and yes to America."
I can't believe that soaring message didn't resonate.
[ Laughter ]
He has the same broken syntax
as a Norwegian tourist looking for the M&M store.
[ Norwegian accent ] Can you say where is the store of the chocolate circles
who mouth melt without doing the same to one's hands?
[ Laughter and applause ]
So, McCarthy and the GOP were full of bravado
about how they would seize the gavel
in a show of Republican power
and confront Joe Biden and the Democrats.
Instead, we got this split screen --
feuding Republicans in utter chaos on the House floor,
while Joe Biden was eating peach cobbler
[ Laughter ] at a barbecue joint in Cincinnati.
[ Applause ] The only way
that could've been any more fun for Biden right now is
if he was eating his peach cobbler
while sitting in the back row of the House of Representatives.
[ Laughter and applause ]
And you know Biden's the kind of guy
who gets every last bite of cobbler.
He'd be back there loudly scraping his fork
around the sides of his little dish.
[ As Biden ] Hey, sorry! I know you gang are trying to find a speaker.
It's just this is some damn good cobbler.
[ Laughter and applause ]
They call me the Cobbler Gobbler.
[ Laughter ]
It's yet another reminder
you can't underestimate Joe Biden.
A lot of people thought he was some sort of bumbling Mr. Magoo
who falls off bicycles and wanders around stage
like an extra in a Broadway show,
[ Laughter ] accidentally entered too early
and is hoping no one notices. [ Laughter ]
[ As Biden ] Hey, is it time for "Mr. Mistoffelees" yet?
[ Laughter ]
No?
[ Laughter ]
Mind if I just hang out here until it is?
[ Laughter ]
But in reality, Biden has, somehow,
spent two years scoring one political win after another
and bucking historical trends,
while Republicans just eat each other alive.
Joe Biden might secretly be a political mastermind
who's just pretending to be old and confused.
He's basically President Doubtfire because...
[ Laughter ]
...while Biden's chowin' down on cobbler,
Republicans are meltin' down before our eyes
and proving to the nation they just can't be trusted to govern.
-This is a portrait of paralysis.
This is what the Republicans have told the country
in the last two months.
Historic underperformance in the midterm,
followed by historic institutional chaos.
-I mean, this is --
I don't want to say an unmitigated disaster
for Kevin McCarthy, but it's close.
-It's pretty bad.
-Let's get back to our top story right now,
the truly historic humiliation of Congressman Kevin McCarthy.
-Wow, it is brutal when someone as neutral as Wolf Blitzer
burns you that hard.
[ Laughter and applause ]
It's like if you got wasted
and [bleep] your pants at a college party
and Walter Cronkite was there
[ Laughter ] to report on it.
[ As Cronkite ] A harrowing scene today at Sigma Chi
as Kevin lost control of his bowels
at 3 am Pacific time and...
[ Laughter ]
...defecated into his trousers.
[ Laughter and applause ]
But it truly is humiliating. McCarthy has now lost
eight straight votes for speaker of the House.
This is the first time in 100 years
it's taken even more than one ballot
to elect a speaker, let alone eight.
And the crazy thing is, because nothing else can happen
until a speaker is elected,
McCarthy just has to sit there, losing votes over and over.
[ Laughter ] The only other thing the House can do is adjourn,
but then when they come back from adjournment,
they just have to vote again. That's it.
McCarthy's stuck in some sort
of nightmarish existential purgatory,
like the waiting room scene in "Beetlejuice," you know, but,
[ Laughter ] next to someone scarier than anyone in that movie.
[ Laughter and applause ] He's lost eight times!
And, every time they hold one of these votes,
it goes down pretty much the exact same way.
They call the roll, McCarthy loses,
they tally up the votes,
and the clerk announces the results like this.
-A speaker has not been elected.
A speaker has not been elected.
[ Laughter ] A speaker has not been elected.
A speaker has not been elected.
-It's like getting all the way up to the altar
and then your fiancé(e) says, "I don't,"
and, instead of going home, the priest says,
"What do you say, everybody, should we try it again?!"
[ Laughter and applause ]
And everyone's like, "Yeah! Ask again!"
[ Laughter ]
And it's especially funny to watch Republicans try
to put a positive spin on this embarrassing debacle.
For example, they all keep insisting
that what we're actually seeing is a healthy sign of democracy
and diversity of thought within the Republican Party.
-Diversity of thought is a good thing.
It's one of the things that sets us apart
from our friends on the other side of the aisle.
Yes, diversity of thought is a good thing.
-It looks messy.
[ Laughter ] But democracy is messy!
[ Cheering and applause ] Democracy is messy!
By! By design.
-Unlike Democrats, members of the Republican Party,
they're not sheep who are --
you know, will do what they are told.
-If you prefer real debates
about issues that actually matter,
it's pretty refreshing to see it.
Yes, it's a little chaotic,
but this is what it's supposed to be.
-Yeah, watching Republicans paralyze the government
and sit through a never-ending existential hell
of bickering and name calling is actually a good thing.
[ Laughter ] I'm sure Americans love it.
When voters see Lauren Boebert
and Marjorie Taylor Greene
screaming at each other
like two suburban hockey moms
[ Laughter ] on opposite sides of a game,
I'm sure they can't help but think to themselves...
-Yes to America.
[ Laughter ]
-Alright, we'll say it. I am in no rush
for this particular
House of Representatives to get to work.
I mean, if Republicans ever figure their [bleep] out,
it's just going to be two years of Hunter Biden's laptop
and threats to detonate the economy
and Anthony Fauci in a dunk tank.
[ Laughter ] So, by all means, take your time.
Also, just a side note -- during one of those speeches,
Republicans accused Democrats of drinking and eating popcorn
as they watched the GOP [bleep]show unfold,
[ Laughter ] prompting oohs from the rest of the House.
-They want us divided.
They want us to fight each other.
That much has been made clear by the popcorn and blankets
and alcohol that is coming over there.
[ Voices overlapping ]
-Oooooh!
[ Laughter ]
This whole thing is turning
into an episode of "Maury."
[ Laughter ]
Tonight's episode is called...
[ Laughter ] [ Theme plays ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
Now, you might be thinking it has to be against the rules
to drink alcohol in the House of Representatives
and, to be clear, I have no idea if that's what's happening,
but regardless, it doesn't matter because,
until they elect a speaker, there are no rules.
[ Laughter ] It's a free-for-all.
They might as well be doing these votes on a party boat
in Italy with Tanya.
[ Laughter ] In fact, you may not know this,
but that's why C-SPAN has been so kickass this week.
Normally, they're restricted to one camera pointed
at a bunch of empty chairs, but while this drags on,
they can basically film whatever the hell they want.
They can whip around the chamber like a squirrel wearing a GoPro.
[ Laughter and applause ]
And it's been amazing this week.
We got to see Republican election denier Paul Gosar
chewing off AOC's ear while she made a face
like she'd rather he literally chew it off.
[ Laughter ] What Republicans are dealing with right now is
the core problem of the modern GOP,
a party that is fundamentally broken.
This is the dynamic Trump exposed,
but it also predated him.
Republicans were happy to appease,
and even use the crazies in their party to gain power,
but now, the crazies are in power with them
and it's coming back to bite Republicans in the ass.
It's like in high school when you got invited
to a party one town over,
but the only person you know
who had a car was Weird Gary.
You'd say, "How bad can it be?
He'll drive us to the party and then we can ditch him."
But then every time you start talking to a cute girl,
Weird Gary would appear right next to you,
[ Laughter ] breathing all heavy. He'd be like,
"Hey, I'm Seth's friend.
[ Laughter ]
Yes to America!"
[ Laughter ]
Even Donald Trump can't seem to rein in any of these people.
He's apparently called them repeatedly
to lobby on behalf of McCarthy,
but after a recent Trump phone call,
right-wing Congressman Matt Gaetz,
one of the leaders in the anti-McCarthy revolt, said...
[ Laughter ] MAGA Republicans are even starting
to turn around and give orders to Trump,
like Colorado Congresswoman Lauren Boebert,
who said, on the House floor,
that, instead of lobbying on McCarthy's behalf,
Trump should call McCarthy and tell McCarthy to drop out,
once again, prompting some oohs from the chamber.
-Let's stop with the campaign smears
and tactics to get people to turn against us,
even having my favorite president
call us and tell us we need to knock this off.
I think it actually needs to be reversed --
the president needs to tell Kevin McCarthy that,
"Sir, you do not have the votes and it's time to withdraw."
[ Oohs ] With that, I yield.
Thank you.
-Oooooh!
[ Laughter ]
We're back with Part 2 of tonight's episode...
[ Theme plays ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
And then later that night, Boebert appeared
on Sean Hannity's show for a rare display of conflict
and it resulted in this truly fantastic moment
where Boebert just started throwing out names
for other speaker candidates
and it exasperated Hannity. Couldn't handle it.
-Sean, I understand the frustration,
I promise you, but -- -I'm not frustrated.
-He does not have the votes -You didn't answer my question.
-and we are hearing -- -[ Strikes desk ]
-we are hearing from many people -I'm not frustrated.
-who are still voting with Kevin McCarthy,
who are very supportive. -You're not answering my question.
-I'm not going to support -An answer
from a liberal. -Kevin McCarthy, Sean.
-Okay. So, even if you only have -I am not going
-30 votes... -to support Kevin McCarthy.
-...you will not abide by -If I am the last
-what you told President Trump. -person standing...
-to abide by. -...which I don't believe
I will be, I -I got it. I feel like
-will not -- -we've made progress.
[ Laughter ] -Look, I love President Trump.
You're not going to turn me on him.
You're not going to pit him against me.
-Not trying to pit him against you. -I love you. I love
President Trump and -- -That's what you said to him.
I'm asking you tonight --
who is your final choice for speaker
and, if you can't get more than, let's say, 30 votes,
will you follow your own advice,
that you were asking Donald Trump, and withdraw?
-There are certainly names that are being floated around
and, hey, maybe I should nominate
President Donald J. Trump tomorrow.
But, Sean, I did watch your show last night and I want
to set the record straight -Like we're going to pick --
-on this motion. [ Laughter ]
-We're going to pick -No, no, no, no, no.
-Jim Jordan one day... -Listen, I want
-...Donalds the other day... -to set the motion
-...Trump the next day? -straight on --
[ Laughter ] He literally said,
out loud, "Is this a game show?"
It is! You elected a literal game show host, mother[bleep].
[ Laughter ] This is truly --
[ Applause ] They're all now saying --
They're all now saying the same stuff
the rest of us said about them for seven years.
You guys turned it into a game show.
Just accept it.
Get Steve Harvey in there,
[ Laughter ] have the McCarthys face off
against the Boeberts and, every time they do
another failed roll call, it can end like this --
-A speaker has not been elected.
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter and applause ] -Well, I guess --
I guess, technically --
I hate piling on, but technically,
it would look like this.
[ Buzzer ]
[ Laughter and applause ]
Republicans are finally getting their long overdue comeuppance.
They invited this chaos
because they thought it would help them gain power
and, instead, they're the ones who are eating each other alive.
They're proving, over and over again,
to Americans that they're a broken party
that is simply incapable of governing.
For Kevin McCarthy, this was supposed to be
a historic coronation, and, instead, it's been a...
-Historic humiliation.
[ Laughter ] -This has been "A Closer Look."
♪♪ [ Cheering and applause ]