paul have you seen a guy by the name of marshall silver absolutely marshall silver is a
professional hypnotist and we thought well maybe what we ought to do is bring marshall in here
to new york city and we'll have him hypnotize many of our staff members you know what i mean
so that's exactly we did that a couple of weeks ago we brought marshall in here he is hypnotizing
the staff in a moment i'm going to begin relaxing you step by step as i do simply concentrate as i
touch you your arms are limped loose and relaxed heavy weights on your sides way down for way down
the more you concentrate the lighter that hand will become until it feels
as if there is a giant bouquet of helium balloons attached to your wrist
on the next number number one balloons expand to a million times their original size
going further and further up the more you concentrate look at me sleep
sleep way down matt it's a pretty sight isn't it ladies and gentlemen our staff in hypnosis
sleep sleep
so uh we got the staff we had volunteers from the staff anybody who wanted to be hypnotized could be
hypnotized and then we decided well while they're under we'll just goof around with these people so
that that's what we're going to be doing tonight ladies and gentlemen it's hypnosis night here on
the late show and uh the first one of these i believe it's me marshall and you're going to
see one of our stage managers biff henderson and a young man uh by the name of matt roberts who is a
researcher here on the late show go ahead roll the videotape it's hypnosis night sleep now sleep now
there he goes he's out like a carp now ain't he waiting all right now can we make him do
a funny thing yeah what would you like him to do uh i want to i when he uh uh uh when he comes to
i just want him just to start laughing about how much money i make and it's way too much money
just laugh and laugh and laugh you got it the comic real open your eyes the moment dave says
how much money do you think i make it'll hit you full force and you will roar with laughter
on the count of three open your eyes feeling fantastic in every way one two three fully aware
bff how you doing okay you think i do okay job
on the show you do great i screw it up every now and then though you know i screw it up well it's
funny yeah but i'm as far as you're concerned i'm i'm worth the money they're paying me right
yeah you're sure you're worth the money yeah you don't think i'm getting too much money
wait a minute what's the damn funny i work hard for my money
if dave asks you anything about how much money he makes it'll be more than you can stand
at first it won't bother you much but the more he asks the more bothered you'll get
till finally you'll let him know exactly what you think that you don't think he's
worth a dime uh what kind of things do you do on the show i'm a researcher so i research the
backgrounds of the guests we have we have a pretty impressive research library don't we
we do have a great resource you know i was thinking about that i know that uh i get a lot
of money but one of the benefits of having all of that money is the facility the research facility
you know so i don't feel so badly making that kind of money when i can provide services like
that for people like yourself and others who work on the show you know are you kidding about what
i mean like with the amount of money that you make we could be like in a pallet we had
a research palace right honestly i'm out there sweating my brains out but i'm getting right out
i mean you enjoy the benefits of my
wealth by working here and knowing me you have a really wealthy friend that's kind of a croc
if i was making like 100 bucks a week would that be too much okay
you get you get so much and i'm you you work okay so you work a few more hours than me right
but let me ask you this what do you care you got a shirt on your back you get three
meals a day you have a place to live you have money for dates but i don't have
uh i don't even have one million dollars you don't you have you don't deserve it i don't know 14.
i know 14. i know but it's right if you could give me one and you'd still have 13.
i mean i know all the stuff you read in the newspaper you know
that's not true i ain't making that i'm really not making that much money
babe now you know we wanted to we wanted marshall uh the hypnotist to come in and
hypnotize biff again but he couldn't come in so we had him do it on the phone and
biff this afternoon was talking i didn't know you could hypnotize people on the
phone but it was like this hello uh-huh uh-huh you're out cold now right biff
you're here now but every time i ask you about how much money i make what happens
because you were you were hypnotized on the phone right yeah you were hypnotized on the phone
you don't think you don't think i make too much money do you man all right okay
they promised you a car a long time ago where are you from don i'm from long island oh long
island so right here in the area where you go to school i go to uh suffolk college and you've been
an intern here for us for how long uh couple months now excuse me dave yeah i remember uh
i think i think it was in january all right um speaking of money since you brought it up
uh remember you promised me a car at the end of the internet i promised you a car yeah yeah
and uh i promised you a car yeah yeah in january you did with the internship and give me a call
yeah you said you know i don't have that kind of money i just have the kind of money i'm telling
you i on the count of you'll open your eyes matt you no longer be matt you'll be david letterman
in fact you'll be david letterman introducing marv albert when marv comes out marvel want to
talk but you'll want him to get to the clips that he's brought with him on the count of three open
your eyes one two three wide awake our next guest is the wild and wackiest sports announcer i know
ladies and gentlemen let's give a big later welcome to marv albert marv you know earlier
today i shared a cab down to madison square garden with pat ewing and boy is his hair oily and i
i said that's great i said how about the clips yeah i said the pat riley i said
wow what what is that 10 w 30 on each side yeah 10w 30. yeah that's what i do yeah the clip reel
how about let's go to the tape jerry no i'm not i want a porsche i want a 944 so i want you
on your car dave go ahead roll the page okay jerry can let's see the wild and wacky
power windows automatic air conditioning everything i watch sleep now
the moment you open your eyes you are madonna in her rawest
and sexiest best on the count of three you're madonna one two three wide awake
how are you okay nice to see you good to see you thank you very much for being on the show
i really appreciate it oh it's good to be here very nice of you
i said it was nice to see you and thanks for coming on the show
man
get him on the phone i'm putting bim to sleep you all right buddy i'm okay all right but i
gotta go there i gotta do this all right do whatever you need to do the show all right
lie down if you'd rather lie down go right ahead all right right now okay sleep
sleep sleep now
what do we do what do we do
i know we'll do the top 10. what about this man what about this unconscious man here in the chair
screw it do the top 10. the top 10 will put him even deeper under
is is i don't know is he all right i just feel kind of silly with an
unconscious human sitting here next to me huh all right and then he'll be fine right
he looks so he looks so peaceful oh god i hope he's all right biff like many of our staffers
enjoys a nice nap during the show uh biff was placed in hypnosis earlier this afternoon i'm told
now on the line here we have marshall silver who's going to get us out of this fix hello marshall
hello dave how are you i'm awesome you just caught me i'm between shows here in vegas well that's
great we have a medical emergency but i'm glad things are going well for you they're in vegas
uh how can i help you today well marshall i was screwing around and i was doing that and i uh
put biff to sleep and i believe matt roberts the other staff member is asleep now there he's out
dave what you need to do is you need to lean over you need to whisper into biff's ear
whisper in his ear on the count of three biff you'll open your eyes feeling fantastic
in every way all right secure in the knowledge that i'm giving you a raise
all right that'll bring him right out of trance and then at the count of three and then do i snap
my fingers or any of that no you just gone from one to three after that he'll come right out of
tram here we go hang on marshall don't go anywhere glad to hear things are going well in vegas
biff it's it's me dave at the count of three you'll awaken refreshed happy confident full
of wonderful feelings and thoughts excited by the knowledge that you're here with your friend dave
and that our long relationship continues everything better than it ever has been
in every way possible for you me and all your family here we go one two three
i know you all right let's walk around a little let's just get up here and walk around can you
get up yeah yeah easy easy i i know i know ladies i know it looks like you're witnessing a crime but
believe me everything is fine watch your step there beth you okay you little wobbly there buddy
you okay everything all right okay we're gonna return to you we'll just chain you
to the camera okay all right thank you very much thanks let's go all right
huh he just went to sleep he went to sleep
you notice you notice how i avoided that part about the rays yeah yeah
why was that okay now how what about matt well was he taking care of her we let
uh we'll let somebody else take care of him all right thank you very much marshall glad i could
help you all right nice chatting with you bye-bye have a great show okay we have a great show yeah
yeah we got we got people unconscious on the set how can you have anything but a great show
okay sleep don't do that oh no did you didn't go down again did you move he's going it's going down