Is he rebounding, or are his feelings for you real? I chat to so many women who've been
hurt when they realized too late that the guy they'd been seeing hasn't put his ex fully
behind him. Today, in part one of my two-part series, I'm going through five signs to help
you tell if the guy you're seeing could be on the rebound. Hey, it's Mark here, founder
of Make Him Yours and creator of Find Love in Five Steps. I'll see you in just a second.
[Music]
Hey ladies. Today, we are talking rebounds. A man on the rebound has the potential to
break your heart while leaving his own unscathed. So it's really important you know how to spot
a guy who might not be over his ex. Now, to begin with, something important to consider.
Men following a breakup often don't have the same level of emotional support that women do.
You know, women often have other girlfriends to confide in, but men tend to lose their
support network when they lose their girlfriend. So once she's gone, a lot of men are left
without any support at all. That's why you have to be careful because rebounding men
really struggle emotionally. They love finding a woman and understanding female presence
they can confide in, but it's to help them survive the breakup of his last relationship,
not to start a new one with you.
So how do you spot them?
Number one, simple. How long has it been since his breakup or divorce?
The biggest predictor of a rebound guy is how long ago he broke up with his wife
or girlfriend. So grief needs to happen. There needs to be time for that. This is the number
one question you've got to ask yourself and him if you're worried he's rebounding, and
yes you can, you can ask him. If you're thinking about getting involved with him, you have
every right to know when his last relationship properly ended. If his breakup was less than
three months ago, or if he legally finalized his divorce less than six months ago, you
have a big red flag. Take things very slow. Don't date him exclusively. Wait and see.
Number two is he's the longterm friend of yours. So remember what I said before about
companionship.
The thing men really crave after a breakup isn't sex. It's a woman and a presence to
confide in, to hug, to hold. If you're a female friend of his who's known him since long before
the breakup, you are the first place he's going to look for comfort and potentially
a rebound. Number three, he hasn't had a no contact period with his ex. If there hasn't
been some form of no contact period with his ex, I'd write it off right there. It means
he hasn't had time to find his feet as a single person. He'll literally be transferring his
missing relationship feelings off of her and onto you. Eventually. Of course though, he's
going to realize you don't make him feel the same way she did and he's going to leave.
Now, the one exception for this would be if there's a reason they have to communicate,
so if there's kids or legal matters to discuss whatever it is, there's not going to be full,
no contact, but the contact then should still be minimal and professional.
Number four, he tells you, "you're so much better me than my ex was." Any normal guy
out of a relationship does not say that. They say nothing. They wait and see if you're better.
When a man has sold himself on you over her, despite an enormous disparity in the time
he's known, both of you. It can't possibly be real. How can it? That's, that's nothing
against you, it's just that he hasn't taken enough time to actually assess the situation
properly. When a man says, "you're better for me than my ex was," he's running from the pain
and selling himself on an alternative to make it go away.
And number five is he downplays the importance of his previous relationship.
So in the same token as before, if he's trying to pretend like
his two-year relationship or his marriage meant nothing,
you know, it was just like, "Oh, that was absolutely nothing at all."
It's very likely he's rebounding.
When you've been with someone for that long, that is a huge deal in your life. A huge deal.
Even if it did turn into a disaster in the end.
A healthy guy can acknowledge the important
part that that relationship played in his life, even if things didn't work out. A guy
who tries to downplay the importance of his past relationship is a guy who hasn't come
to terms with it and still has a lot of pain to deal with. Well, look, I hope that helps
you get some clarity as to whether the guy you were seeing has feelings that are real
or could be a troubled heart looking for companionship.
If you're still not sure there is going to be a part two and that's going to be released
on Wednesday. So make sure you watch that.
I'll put the link in the description once it's released.
Remember if you've seen any more than a couple of these signs, tread very carefully.
Watch part two, keep things casual.
That's it for today. Make sure you subscribe to the channel.
Did you enjoy the content? Let me know if that helps. Let me know if that gave you a
few ideas to help decipher this tricky but important problem.
Leave a comment below makehimyours.com.au/coaching
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