-Our next guest is a very funny comedian
you know from "Saturday Night Live"
as well as movies such as "Sisters" and "Wine Country."
She's starring in the upcoming Broadway Show "POTUS:
Or, Behind Every Great Dumbass are Seven Women
Trying to Keep Him Alive," which will open
at the Shubert Theatre on April 27th.
Please welcome back to the show our very dear friend
Rachel Dratch, everybody!
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Welcome, Dratch!
You have -- -Hello!
-I am already in your debt in life in general,
but you did us a favor tonight.
You showed up as a sort of -- you filled in for
a last-minute guest hole, and thank you so much.
-Yes, I love to take up a guest hole.
[ Laughter ] No, yeah, I got a call
not too long ago,
and I like to think of myself as your Teri Garr.
-That is a very important role.
-For those of you who used to watch "Letterman."
-Every talk show host needs their Teri Garr, though --
someone they can trust, who can show up, can deliver.
-Yes. Now, let me say that
I was making chili when I got this call,
so I was cooking onions, so I might smell like onions.
-Okay, that's all right.
We do appreciate you putting that caveat out there.
-Okay, good. -Hey, you know what
I was thinking when Mariska and Chris were out here?
I think one of my first or second weeks at "SNL,"
you wrote a sketch called "Law & Order: SUV."
-I did? -You did.
-I don't remember half the stuff I did.
What was it? -It was --
I think it was basically just SUV-related crimes.
-Really? I wrote that? [ Laughter ]
-Look at you! -I guess I did!
-This is one of the new things we're trying with guests
where I tell you something about you.
[ Laughter ]
-God, I don't remember doing that.
I mean, I remember the sketch. I didn't remember --
Okay. Anyway, let's move on from that.
-Okay. You, um -- [ Laughter ]
You might not know this -- you're in a Broadway show.
-I am! I do know that.
-That's so exciting. [ Cheers and applause ]
Now, I've seen you -- I've seen you onstage before,
but I'm not sure --
I did not realize this is your Broadway debut.
-Broadway debut, yes. It's a farce with seven women,
written by a woman, directed by Susan Stroman,
written -- Selina Fillinger is the playwright.
She's a young, up-and-coming playwright
who got her play on Broadway. -That's amazing.
-And it's me and -- I mean, I hope I remember
everyone right now, but Vanessa Williams,
Julie White, Lea DeLaria, Lilli Cooper,
Suzy Nakamura from Second City, our buddy, and --
oh, my God -- Julianne Hough!
-Wow! Nice catch -- you got them all.
-Yeah. [ Cheers and applause ]
-That's really exciting. -Yeah.
-And this was -- is it safe to say that even before comedy,
theater was your thing?
You were in an early -- you were in a production of "Music Man."
-I was, in high school.
-So, this is a high school production?
-That's me in "Music Man" as Amaryllis.
-Okay. -I did have --
This is from the yearbook, and I noticed
I left my watch on by accident. [ Laughter ]
So that's kind of anachronistic.
-That's how it gives away the con, right?
[ Laughter ] -Yes.
But that was the dress rehearsal.
I did take it off for the real show.
But anyway, yes, that was me in "The Music Man"
in my junior year of high school, yeah.
-Amaryllis is the young girl who's taking piano lessons.
-Yeah, so it's not a major role.
-Did you have to do a lot of,
like, miming playing piano, do you remember?
-Well, I actually played the piano, Seth, so...
-Oh! Well! [ Cheers and applause ]
-I mean, it's just a little -- like, anyone could learn that.
But anyways, yeah, so I've done theater a lot,
but I've always gravitated towards comedy.
So, you know, this is like, whatever.
This is gonna be fun because --
-Have you seen "The Music Man" on Broadway?
-I did see it, yes. -Was it exciting?
-Yeah. Oh, my gosh, 'cause I know all the songs.
When you go to a show that you were in, then you're, like,
singing along in your seat,
much to the chagrin of your seatmates.
[ Laughter ] But no, yes, I saw "Music Man."
It was super fun. -We talked about your son Eli,
who is now 11 1/2, which is amazing.
-Yes, yes. -I remember seeing him
in a stroller, because he wasn't always 11 1/2.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-You talked about bringing him to Broadway shows.
My wife just brought our oldest to "Lion King," which he loved.
You talked about bringing Eli to "Fiddler on the Roof."
-I did, yeah. -And what was his review, again?
-Well, he said it was boring and sad and boring.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-But so, I've brought him to more,
like, kid-friendly musicals. I don't want you to think
I threw him in on "Fiddler on the Roof."
But as I told you last time I was here -- whatever --
yeah, like, "Fiddler on the Roof" --
I used to love that --
Like, I saw it when I was little, and I really loved it,
and I wanted him to see it,
but it didn't go over so great with him, yeah.
-Do you think -- Did you -- In the watching it,
did you realize early on, "Oh, I've made a terrible mistake"?
-Yes, yes. Because it was kind of, like,
dark sets, and, like, it wasn't really, like,
a lot of, you know, real-life-looking stuff.
And then, I also realized, like, "Oh, yeah, this play is kind of
about, like, marrying someone outside of your religion."
He was like 6, so it wasn't exactly a child --
but I think -- now I'm just repeating another segment I did.
But he did lean over to me partway through and be like,
"I wanna go." [ Laughter ]
And then one of the characters onstage said,
"I have to leave you now," and he leans over,
and he goes, "I have to leave this show."
[ Laughter ]
So, that's a rewind of another Seth segment.
-Hey, look, sometimes when you're Teri Garr --
-When you're filling in, you got to go play the hits, right?
[ Laughter and applause ]
-So, wait. Are you gonna bring --
Will Eli come to this show? -Okay.
So this show has a lot, a lot of salty language in it.
-Oh, okay. -Really, really.
So, I don't know, 'cause he's heard a lot of swears --
-How salty? -Like, think saltiest.
-Okay. [ Laughter ]
-No, he's heard a lot of, like, bad words,
but I don't know that I want to introduce him to new bad words.
But I don't know. [ Laughter ]
We'll see, 'cause then I'm also, like,
"Well, I want him to see it, so maybe I'll just, like,
have a little sit-down and lay down the --
-That's so interesting because I think there's no way
to stop your kids hearing the bad words,
but you don't want it to be by your hand.
-Exactly. And then do you want him
to go tell everyone in the fifth grade about the new word?
Yeah. -And like, he heard --
"I know this because I saw my mom say it on a stage."
-Well, actually, I don't say it. -Oh, there you go.
So maybe when the night he comes,
every time someone says a bad word, you, like,
do a big thing of rolling your eyes.
-Yeah, or I'm like, "Wasn't me, wasn't me."
[ Laughter ]
No, but the show is very funny.
So, I start out -- Like, the character that I play
is really fun 'cause I start out as someone who's very, like,
buttoned-up and apologetic.
Like, I can really relate to that being, like, "Oh, my God.
did I do this right?" that kind of thing.
But then the character goes on a journey,
and I get to do a lot of crazy things.
So, yeah. I was thinking,
if you like me as an actor, you'll really like this show.
And then, if you don't like me,
there's a lot of other ladies there that you might be fans of.
[ Laughter ]
-What a wonderful -- -Put that on the marquee.
"If you hate Rachel Dratch, there are six others
that you might enjoy." [ Laughter ]
-Well, I think I'm gonna like all seven of you.
Thanks so much for showing up, for bailing us out.
It is always such a joy to see you.
Rachel Dratch! [ Cheers and applause ]
"POTUS" officially opens on Broadway April 27th.