-Welcome, everybody.
Welcome, welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show."
You're here. [ Cheers and applause ]
You made it. You're watching. Thank you.
You guys getting in the holiday spirit?
[ Cheers and applause ] -Yeah.
-Yeah. Well, listen to this.
Ahead of Thanksgiving, the TSA just announced
that they are predicting the busiest
holiday travel season ever.
Yeah. And this was a classy move.
Southwest cut right to the chase and canceled all their flights.
-Aww! -Yeah.
Apparently, the airports are going to be so busy
that LaGuardia might even buy a second gray bin.
[ Imitates rattling ]
Yeah, everyone's excited for Thanksgiving.
Meanwhile, in New York City, Mayor Eric Adams is like,
"I don't want to hear or see anything to do with Turkey.
No one say 'Turkey.'"
Subway's like, "You're safe here."
Guys, some news from Washington.
I saw that photos just emerged of the cocaine
that was found last summer at the White House.
-Ooh! -Here it is.
-Oh, yeah.
-I like how the White House uses the same lockers
as a water park.
What is this? West Wing or a Splish Splash?
White House staffers were like, "You try staying awake
during a Biden meeting without a little help."
Okay? Now the Secret Service keeps it on hand
anytime they got to jump-start Mitch McConnell.
Can we see the photo again?
Gosh, I wonder how much cocaine that is.
-Oh, I'd say about 100, 120 bucks, maybe.
Depends on how good it is, you know?
You almost done here, Chico? [ Sniffs ]
-We just started.
-Well, let's get moving along. I got nowhere to be, man.
[ Sniffs ]
-Yeah, no one knows who the cocaine belongs to,
but this other photo is a little incriminating here.
"Say hello...
Say hello to my little friend."
[ As Biden ] His name is -- His name is Corn Pop."
[ Normal voice ] Speaking of the White House,
a former Trump campaign attorney told Georgia prosecutors
that after losing the election,
former president Trump did not plan to leave
the White House under any circumstances.
Yeah, it was pretty difficult to get him out.
Check out what Trump said the day
Biden was set to move in.
First he said...
Then he said...
And finally...
It's very interesting. That's how he got out.
[ Cheers and applause ]
"It's my lucky day."
Well, this is wild.
Earlier today, Tennessee Congressman Kevin Burchett
was talking to a reporter when he said that former
House Speaker Kevin McCarthy elbowed him in the back
with a clean shot to the kidneys.
You know people in Congress are old
because they know where their kidneys are.
"Hey, Gen Z'er, where's your kidneys?"
They go, "Here? I don't know."
Some business news.
I read that Pepsi is on track to surpass Coca-Cola
as the biggest U.S. beverage company.
-Ooh!
-Apparently, it's all thanks to Pepsi's strategy of releasing
a new Mountain Dew flavor every hour.
Nitro Green? That sounds good.
Well, get this.
Apparently, stores like Walmart and Costco
are pulling back on self-checkout technology.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
People asked if the decision was a way to reduce their costs
or boost the economy, and the companies were like,
"No, it's because they never worked."
That's the only reason.
"I got to weigh my bag? I got to weigh the bag."
Yeah, I'm sad the self-checkouts are gone.
I miss typing in "onion" and then having to pick
from 10 different types of onions.
It's like, "Yellow, white. I don't know.
I didn't open it yet. It's an onion.
Nitro Green?"
Some more business news.
After filing for bankruptcy
and closing all of their locations in 2018,
Toys"R"Us is now opening a new store at the Mall of America,
and they even released --
[ Cheers and applause ] -Wow!
-They're back. Toys"R"Us is back.
They even released a promo for the grand opening.
Take a look at this.
-Toys"R"Us is back.
Come check out our first physical store in five years.
Toys"R"Us.
-Yeah, that's great. I'm sorry.
I'm just getting word that they just released
another commercial.
-Oh. -Yeah.
-Toys"R"Us has gone out of business.
Everything must go.
Toys"R"Us.
-That was sad. Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm getting word there's a new ad.
-Really? -Yeah.
-Toys"R"Us is giving it one more shot.
We're reopening, so come on in.
Toys"R"Us.
-[ Laughs ] Good for them.
Oh, sorry. There's a new commercial.
-It's over. We're finished.
We're the Blockbuster of RadioShacks.
Toys"R"Us.
-It's getting out of hand.
Oh, geez. Yeah, there's another one.
I don't know.
-We're back, bitches!
Toys"R"Us!
We gone, bitches. Toys"R"Us.
We're the next Amazon!
We're the next Circuit City.
We're getting a live giraffe!
The giraffe escaped.
We're going to live forever!
Oh, we dead.
Toys"R"Us!
ToysWEREUs.
-Oh, my God.
They should just really fire their marketing team
and hire new people.
-A roller-coaster ride.
-Well, guys, listen to this.
Taylor Swift's website crashed
shortly after she announced new Christmas merchandise.
Ticketmaster was like, "Not so easy, is it?"
While it was down, anyone who tried to access Taylor's site
got an "Era" message.
[ Sniffles ]
They got an "Era" message.
-Oh! ♪♪
Oh, dang!
Snap! Dang! Dang!
-Whoo! -Wow!
-I acted that one pretty well there, yeah.
-Look at my spine. -Whoo-hoo!
Do you guys want me to do any more jokes
or should I just leave?
[ Cheers and applause ]
Okay, alright.
Well, this is fun.
I heard that Tiffany is launching
a Pokémon jewelry collection.
Yeah, because nothing says "You're the one" like
getting down on one knee and giving someone
a diamond Squirtle.
Yep, it's the first jewelry line from Tiffany
that'll make her say, "He should have went to Jared."
Guys, finally it is Tuesday. It is time for "WePost."
Here we go.
-♪ WePost ♪
♪ WePost ♪
-Welcome to "WePost."
This is where we, as a group,
decide something that we should post on socials.
I'm going to show you five different posts,
and we're all going to vote on whether you like
each one or not.
You all have voting clickers at your seats.
You can vote for all of them.
You can vote for none of them. Whatever you want.
Even if they give you a little chuckle
or make you think, "Ah!"
Things that make you say, "Hmm." -Hmm.
-You just say, "Yeah, why not?"
Give it a thumbs-up. Why not?
We're going to see the results live here on the monitors, okay?
So, Higgins, Roots, you have clickers?
-Yep. [ Sniffs ]
-I'm gonna post... [ Laughter ]
I'm gonna post whichever one gets
the most likes from all of us.
Because it's not a MePost, guys. It's a WePost.
-Ohh! Wow.
-An "Era" message.
-"Era." -Yeah.
-"Era" message.
-Some Swiftie out there will love that joke.
-Yeah. No. I heard "error message."
-Yeah. No. "Era" message. -"Era" message.
-That's what makes it -- Yes. That's correct.
-That's a great joke. -Thank you very much.
I appreciate that. -I love it.
-I love you, too, man. -I love you, too, man.
-Hey, keep it real. -Hey.
I'm keepin' it real 24/6.
-He's the best in the biz, dude. -Hey, man. [ Laughs ]
-Okay. Here we go. The first post is...
[ Scattered laughter ] ♪♪
-Ooh. -Okay.
-Wow. -Yeah.
The stunned silence in the audience.
I think -- I think the votes are in.
No one was even moving. -No. I think they went...
-The crowd, they voted immediately...
-I voted yes. -...and stopped moving.
-Yeah. -Yeah, I did "yes" just for fun.
It'd be nice. But I have a feeling
it's gonna be disastrous. -Very low.
-Yeah. Let's see the results.
-Oh! -Oh. Not bad! Hey!
You made a decision. Very nice of you.
Made the decision and moved on. I love it.
Okay. This is good. Alright. I like this next one here.
It says...
[ Laughter ]
-That got laughter.
-Yeah. Here we go. Alright. Make your decision here.
-Ouija! -Alright.
Let's see the results on this one.
Ohh! Alright. Not bad. Good.
First one's still there. They're lower.
-First one's 1-3-2, right? -Yeah. Alright. Here we go.
This next one says...
[ Laughs ] -Come on!
-That's good. I like that one.
-Come on. That's clever. -Yeah.
"Am I too late to audition?"
That one I think is gonna win. -Yeah.
-I think that's --
-Nah, that's definitely not winning, no.
-No, that's gonna win.
-Out of these three, yeah. -Alright. Hold on.
Let's see the results here. I think that's gonna win.
Ohh!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Shocker. That was -- It's real.
-Let's make the next one win, no matter what it is, guys.
-No. Hey! -He's trying to rig the game!
-Do we have two more left? -Two.
-Yeah. I should remind everyone. I should have said earlier.
These don't necessarily get better.
[ Laughter ]
-It's a fact. You're just helping them out.
-...progressively better. -Yeah. No.
Alright. Here we go. You think this one should be it?
-This is the one. Absolutely. -This one says...
-Yep.
Right? Am I right?! Am I right?! Come on!
-Alright.
Uh, let's see the results here.
[ Drum roll ]
-Ohh!
[ Laughter ]
-Yeah. -No, no.
-That's called the Tariq bump. -Yeah.
-You guys couldn't do me that one solid, though, right?
-We got one more shot if you want to.
-Okay. Let's do -- Like, this one -- Over --
No matter -- No matter what it is, like,
you know, just go against your gut.
[ Laughter ]
-Why? Why? Why?
-If you feel bad about it, vote for it.
-Yeah. Okay. Here we go. This last one says...
-Yeah. Okay.
-Come on. Come on. -Come on.
-Of course. -But the other one --
the other one's more family-friendly.
-The avocado one is more clever, yeah.
-Avocado. It's a classic.
-Have we had a unanimous one yet?
-Never. -This is the one.
-No. Wait. No. This might be the one.
Alright. I think it's gonna be avocado.
But let's see the results here. It gonna be avocado?
-Ohh! -Ohh!
[ Laughter ] -That's not fair.
There you go. That's the winner right there.
I'm gonna post this during the break.
If you happen to see it online, give that WePost a repost.