People aren't naturally equipped to deal productively with difference.
In fact, neuroscientifically, psychologically, socially, we're very wired into fear and to
retreat from the 'Other' or the different and it takes an intervention of some sort
to promote openness mentally.
If you throw highly different, highly diverse, highly divided people together without a framework
or without some sort of bonding experience first it can have the opposite of the intended
effect and actually cause more of a clash, more of a feeling of discomfort and ultimately
more otherization between those divided peoples.
So some of the things that can break down those barriers when you bring them together
are things like awe.
So there's a fantastic neuroscientist out there by the name of Dr. Beau Lotto, who I
believe you all have spoken with before, he's done some interesting work on how things like
awe or how things like play can cause people to let go of their fear, let go of their anxiety
so that they enter a mental state where they're capable of being curious and entertaining
a new experience.
Or maybe it's having some sort of shared trial or tribulation that bonds you before you actually
deal with the difficult issues.
There is a really fantastic commercial from about a year ago that I think Heineken put
on, where it showed two very different people, what the audience knew to be very different
people, building a bar together and just talking with each other and struggling to build this
bar.
And then once the bar is constructed they realize that they held wildly differing beliefs,
whether they were differing political beliefs or maybe some prejudices towards each other
that they weren't even aware of, and the commercial revealed this to them and then asked if they
wanted to sit down and have a drink together now that they knew about this divide.
And since they just spent that previous hour toiling over the building of the bar and getting
to know the other person as a human being before they got to know them as a set of tribal
political beliefs they all sat down and shared a drink together and bonded.
It's important to take the time to have an icebreaker moment before engaging in that
conversation, before jumping right into the hot topics that are going to make an individual
inclined to jump out of their seat and stop listening and start fighting.
So begin with a dinner, began with a meal, begin with literal breaking bread and asking
questions of each other in a personal context that help you get to know the other individual
as a human being.
Some of the other icebreakers that neuroscience and psychology are showing are productive
and facilitating active listening and an open mind are things like humor.
So take in some humorous content or some awe-inspiring artistic content or go do something active
like go for a hike, go for a walk.
Studies show that engaging in nature or going through some sort of tribulation, even if
it's something as minimally challenging as physical exercise, actually helps break down
some of the mental barriers we have between us.
And then begin to ask questions around the difficult topics.
We're looking at huge, complex, intractable problems in our country today.
We're talking about a broken criminal justice system, we're talking about a broken immigration
system, we're talking about healthcare, we're talking about free expression in a digital
age.
These are not things that any one person has the answer to and anybody who says they have
the absolute right answer is probably trying to sell you something or has a self-interest
that you might want to be a little bit skeptical of.
We're going to solve these problems by coming together across divides and having conversations
with anyone to do good and no one to do harm and to look forward and discuss possible solutions.
I become deeply concerned when those conversations are not possible.