Exeter final year!
I am so old!
I am going to pretend I am a second year ok guys?
Alright, so hi welcome to my channel, my name is Francesca and I am currently in my last
year at exeter university!
Yea so today today today we are going to talk about my first days at uni which were so traumatic
and negative and catastrophical and ended up in the best year of my life.
I really feel that this could benefit a few of you who just like me moved in to Exeter,
during this week end or today or this week, if you are watching me, hi welcome, try to
find me on campus say hi, would love to see you, lets get right into it!
So my first few days, so I was arriving from italy, as some of you know, I’m italian
and I came all the way, I’ve never been in england, I didn’t know anything about
english humor, banter, pulling, what that meant, I didn’t know what it meant, I didn’t
know anything about the food, the culture, the people, what was acceptable what wasn’t,
you know like when I say hi to people I generally hug them and give them two kisses, some people
were like “wooow what is this girl doing, *hem* RAPE!” and no its not at all the case
I am just like very touchy feely, its like an italian way of doing things, i guess, or
its just me, i don’t know, anyway.
I just did that and I had no clue what I was putting myself into it was kind of an adventure
but I was like "yea its fine I’ll arrive there I’m in Birks Grange, Birks Grange
is the biggest hall on campus, 800 people there, it’s going to be amazing" and I arrived
and I didn’t have any flat mates yeas and I realize that oh my God I am in an ensuite
self catered accommodation, so I had my own kitchen and my own bathroom, it’s just that
they put me randomly there because Exeter was my insurance university.
So yea so since I didn’t get my grades, I couldn’t apply for accommodation, so Exeter
just like literally put me somewhere random and I didn’t have any flatmates and I was
like “no!”.
But I arrived in a corridor so I was like alright you don’t have flatmates but at
least you have corridor mates, people who are in an ensuite accommodation just like
you!”.
Well these people were postgrads and third years so they didn’t come for freshers week,
they would literally come for after freshers week.
You can’t even imagine how disappointed sad and scared I was!
I was like, not only I was in a different country but I have no idea who to go out with!
Usually you go out with your flatmates, or your corridor mates but I don’t have any
so I was just like “alright fran I think you will have to do some exploring in the
building..”.
So I went to different corridors, and I went to the first corridor the one nearest to me.
And, I saw everyone sitting down on a bed in someones room and it was clearly freshers
trying to learn about each other and whatever…
So I went in and said “hey guys!” and there was no answer so I said “hi!” and
they were just like, stop talking, looking at me like this and I was like “okay”
and I was like “whatever” and I just continued talking because sometimes you just have to
keep talking and say that “I am going to have dinner later on, I am going to prepare
something for everyone, if you want to join just let me know it would be cool to meet
more freshers and everything…”
and they kept staring at me like this… and didn’t answer.
And so I just said "em, this is my room em, this number is my room so em, I’ll be there
and em I’ll see you later!”, then I went in the corridor and just waited a bit to see
if I could hear anything they would say because usually people just say their opinion when
you walk out of the room.
Oh, what a surprise, they did!
And one person said “I don’t like her”.
You know now I laugh about it but, I was so bad you know, I was so so so so sad.
So it wasn’t nice.
So what happened after that I was just like okay whatever.
So I was like okay this block is basically not my friend, cool, cool great!
What a great thing!
I went to bed because I was very sad, upset, about the whole thing, you can imagine, you
have no friends, you are trying to make friends and no one wants you, yep yep yep, it’s
not nice.
And this is especially for all of you freshers who are here in exeter right now and who are
watching this I’m like: don’t worry I was in the same situation, and I am still
in exeter so let me know if you are in that situation, I can help you out.
Em so I was like okay okay so…
So the next day there was this barbecue thing, it was saturday and there was this barbecue
literally down stairs, so I was like ok everyone is meeting up there, I am sure I can find
someone, and then, but when I arrived there, everyone had their little group which I imagine
was flatmates or at least corridor mates or something, they all were in little groups
like you know the little circles that they all do like everyone with their food and literally
that, all in a circle like this, and it’s very hard to penetrate that circle, that sounded,
that sounded very sexual.
I was just trying to say hi and in I don’t know why they were just very close i didn’t,
I tried and I tried and, some people actually answered me and not everyone was bad and you
know not everyone was nasty but the fact that they were in circles is not because they don’t
like you, its because, in this case its because they were very insecure and they just didn’t
want to make a wrong move and sometimes in freshers you do feel that way and thats because
you feel massively insecure about where you are and who you are and thats fine, thats
normal, God we are 18, like 18 year olds, 17, 19, thats fine!
Anyway, so yea i didn’t manage to get through to anyone, some people actually talked to
me but, it was very briefly, it was small talk.
I thought I was pretty okay but hey whatever and yea so that didn’t go well so after
one and a half hours of trying I was just quit, big mistake, but i just quick and went
back home and i was just there not very happy and i was just very sad, because I am just
like…
But, what happened the next day, i was like okay its been 2 days now and i still don’t
have any friends, great.
And i was just like maybe this is whats going to happen i am just going to have my exact
same experience in high school where i feel that i don’t have all the friendships that
i thought i would have.
Maybe thats just who i am maybe thats actually who i am suppose to be.
And I was about to say yes to that really wrong mentality, I was about to let go but
then there was this bar crawl in the evening and i looked at it for a while in my little
event sheet and i was just like, “you know what?
lets lets go to that one this is the last time i try and if it goes well good, if it
doesn’t then i am just going to try and survive cuz this is not going to be a good
uni experience, away from home, away from family, away from my friends, its just not
going to happen.
So i go to this bar crawl.
But before we actually do the bar crawl, before we actually start going around the city, we
have to all meet up in this room which is the common room of Birks, so very very big.
I got into the room and you know when you have the feeling that everyone knows someone,
except you.
Everyone is talking to someone, it really felt like i was the one who was purely alone.
So i went towards these two girls and i will remember this for the rest of my life, rest
of my life.. so i went towards these two girls and i was just like “hello there!
hi my name is francesca, just wanted to start a random conversation with people because
you know its freshers, and i don’t have anyone in my corridor so hey whats your name.
Their reaction was this… and they left.
I am still in schlock after 3 years.
Like that says a lot, right?
I mean, who does that, its freshers, you are a fresher!
I mean its not even freshers week, its like the sunday before and you are being close
minded with your friend, what!
I was so, well after that, and i felt like thats the worst cuz you are alone in a room
and you feel like all eyes are on you.
You are with no one, and then you just go up to two people who just leave you there
in the middle of the room where everyone is starring actually that was just a myth, it
was just like me thinking of that because sometimes you just over react and you are
very dramatic but i was just like everyones looking at me, i just failed everyone saw
that i just got basically snubbed by these two girls i was like, “ooh, ohh my god,
i am so leaving right now”.
And i was so sad, so sad, i was literally about to cry in front of everyone i was like,
i could feel the tears in my eyes i was like “oh my god don’t start crying that would
be the worst, don’t start crying francesca, come on come on be strong.”
And i was like, there was this voice was like “I want to go home I just want to cry in
my bed, just let me go home, i just want to go home, this is horrible, i hate exeter,
the people are so nasty!”.
And then the stronger voice in me was like “Fran, keep going, keep going until you
manage, we said this one last time, this is the one last time you are going to try these
things out, keep going!”.
And i know this seems like super, i mean it shouldn’t be this hard right?
So thats why i am saying some of you are so lucky to be in a flat where everyone gets
along and you are just having fun like.
Some people don’t and this is for, this is who this video is for, its for these people
who really really had a bad experience and really are struggling and this is for you
guys because it has a happy ending all this is does.
After I was just like “Keep going!”
so I kept: I went up to two girls, thank God, my two angels, they actually, and I’m still
friends with them now.
They were the first tow girls who actually accepted to have a conversation with me, so
i started finally a conversation with these girls, they were a bit, at the beginning it
was kind of awkward you can tell that i was kind of pushing it a bit but they still went
along, they were still polite, you know like that rare thing that no one is and they still
like continued conversation with me until we arrived to the first bar, and then they
had flatmates that they introduced me too, and those flatmates happened to be a great
crew of people which whom i stayed literally for the whole of freshers week and for the
whole month.
They weren’t in my same halls but they were literally a minute away so it was as if they
were in my same halls and i just every night i went up to them and they were just my first
group of friends and from that moment onwards guys, from that moment onwards, everything
went better because once you finally get into a group after all that struggle, you are making
the absolute best effort to be on point, you know like to be sociable, to be laughing,
to be smiling a lot, i mean you have to after all this effort you don’t want to lose this
time, so they actually integrated me in their group they were very nice, very inclusive
i was very happy about it and it was really cool and i was like “aaah”.
And I think that really helped me to enjoy even more freshers week because after three
days of really trying hard to find just one person you can go somewhere to, you kind of
appreciate everything else much more, like just the fact to go to a club with people
and not queuing on your own actually was for me a luxury.
So it just was so good and then from then on i was just so scared to not have any more
friends from then on that i didn’t stop there, i didn’t find this group and then
stopped interacting with other people.
I kept on talking to other people, i kept on starting conversations with random people
but this time i was not alone, this time there was a group of people, I felt tones more comfortable
as you can imagine.
By the end of my freshers year I knew over 700 people and how did I know the number,
do not worry, i wasn’t counting or anything, its just like.
I said this in a video, this was one of my tips: on Facebook you can create a list, not
a group, a list.
So you basically put people that you know in these lists where you can find them easily
so that if i was about to do a party or like organize an event, I would know who to invite
i would not miss anyone out.
By doing these lists it actually says how many people are in that list so thats how
i knew that I knew over 700 people at the end of my first year.
Its by continuing and trying hard and by keep on going that you will find that crowd, and
now me and that group, we are not as close as close when we were in freshers.
I ve found other people and other individuals which whom i connected more and i feel that
thats important because a lot of people think that they had to stick with their housemates
and everything and thats something that I wouldn’t do like do spend sometime with
your house and flatmates definitely but do not forget that there are 20000 students that
you do not know in this campus and you have the opportunity to meet people who are even
more like minded, you know, people who will connect with you even more and on a deeper
level and maybe those are not the random flatmates you had in your first year maybe thats going
to be the people that by talking to more and more people you will realize who thsese people
are and have much more fun because you are around people you really like and yea I’m
talking way too much about this.
But moral of the story: persevere, never give up, keep trying, keep talking to random people,
eventually someone will be open minded, eventually, promise.
It is exeter university after all so you will find someone that is open minded.
Anyway so that was my first few days, they were absolutely bad and it ended up being
really beneficial for me so make sure you think about that if you are in the same situation
just make sure that em you think about what i said, know that you are not alone and if
you are in uni right now, let me know okay? because i am here too and we can meet up and
i can make you feel tones better if you feel that you are really not finding your crowd,
we can figure something out together okay?
i am here to help like i really want you guys to have the best fresh start.
I am going to go now so please like this video if you liked it.
Yea like this video, subscribe if you would like to see a bit more of my anecdotes and
stories and i will go now.
Alright, bye guys.