I'm gonna give them all to you, right here in this video
so, stay tuned.
I am Rebecca Zung.
I'm an attorney, I'm an author and I'm a negotiation expert,
but what I really focus on is negotiating with
narcissist toxic personalities, difficult personalities.
Negotiating with easy people is oftentimes kind of easy,
it's easy to get along with easy people, right?
It's the toxic, difficult ones that
make your life completely miserable.
So, I give you communication skills,
negotiation skills, ways to handle these people.
If that sounds good to you,
make sure that you subscribe to my channel and
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All right, let's talk about
those eight favorite narcissists’ catchphrases.
Normally, they say this in response to
something where you felt like you couldn't trust them;
I will give you an example.
I was in a small, very brief business with someone and
this person put money that was
supposed to go into the business account.
It was money that had been generated by the business,
into her own personal account.
When I questioned her about where the money was,
she said she had to put it in her personal account because
she didn't know how to put the money into the business account.
Hmm, do you smell BS?
Yeah, I did. Definitely, I did too.
When I called her out on it, she said,
she will transfer it back into the business account
but she didn't know how to do it.
So she had to classify it.
She wanted to consult with her CPA
or bookkeeper to find out what the best way would be to
transfer it and how to classify it for bookkeeping purposes.
Yeah, definitely lots of BS.
But she punctuated that whole conversation
with me with you can trust me.
This person was definitely a covert narcissist and yeah,
“You can trust me”, definitely, you can't.
So they normally do say it in response to something
where you're feeling like you can't trust them.
What I'm here to tell you is
trust your guts, don't trust them.
Again, they normally say this in response to
you trying to make a point,
you trying to get them to take responsibility for something.
Maybe it's something that you want for yourself from them.
So, they project and deflect by saying that
you're attacking them or that you're interrupting them.
Maybe you're catching them in some sort of a lie.
So, project and deflect are two of the ways that they handle that.
If you want to know more about what happens
when you catch a narcissist in a lie, by the way,
you can definitely check out my video on that subject as well.
Again, it's a way of projecting and deflecting.
It's attack what you said,
how you said it, when you said it,
because then, it's about that.
They want the conversation to not be
about whatever it is that you wanted it to be about.
They want to push it off into something else.
That way they're not having to take responsibility,
they've slithered out.
It's sort of like trying to hold a fish or something.
They slide out.
That's number three.
I have no idea what you're talking about,
or the flip of this is, we did talk about that,
don't you remember?
you know what that is, everybody say it with me.
Gaslighting. Yes, one of their favorites.
Yes, they love the gaslighting.
Especially the coverts, really they all love the gaslighting
anyway, it's one of their favorite
little tricks in their little bag of toxic traits.
They'll say “I never said that”or “I did say that”, and
the reason why they gaslight, by the way, is because
it helps to weaken you and destabilize you so
that you're more under their control and
you start to question your own mind,
you start to question your own sanity,
you start to believe that they know better, and
that you don't and after years and years of it,
it's almost like you have to reprogram your brain
from being brainwashed, almost like a cult.
It definitely takes some good therapy
with a therapist who definitely understands narcissism,
I highly recommend that.
The last four are all absolutes, okay?
Remember that narcissists are always about black and white,
so, it's either you're the best person they've ever met,
or the worst person you've ever met.
You're either for them or you’re against them.
There's a winner and there's a loser,
especially in negotiations.
They want to come out looking like the winner.
You have to remember that,
if you're not going to be for them, then
they definitely are going to think you're against them, and
then you become public enemy number one.
The last four of the things that they say are absolutes
because they love to speak in absolutes.
No one else thinks that, no one else believes you,
no one else says things like that, you're the only one.
They want you to feel like you're ganged up on,
like you're bullied on.
They've got their flying monkeys, all believing them.
Everyone else thinks that I'm right,
everyone else thinks that I'm fantastic,
everyone else thinks I'm a great dad, mother,
business partner, whatever else it is…
Everyone else thinks I'm kind, wonderful,
you're the only one who doesn't think that.
Again, to weaken you, to destabilize you,
question your own mind, think you're crazy,
feel ganged up on, feel controlled…
It's a way to manipulate you, one-up you,
push you down, degrade you.
That's what it's meant to do.
If you think I'm spot on so far,
Alright, number seven.
Number seven and number eight go together.
Again, it's with these absolutes.
I always do everything I'm supposed to do,
you never give me what I want,
things like that.
It's always and never, they love to use these absolutes because
it makes them feel powerful and makes you feel worse,
which is the goal, right?
They want that control over you, especially,
when it comes to negotiations.
If you are negotiating with a narcissist
or negotiating at all,
grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep work sheet
at winmynegotiation.com.
It's 15 pages, it's an e-book. It's totally free.
No, reason not to go get it right now.
Everyone has to negotiate at some point in their lives.
Even if it's negotiating with your own head
in the morning, all day long,
for your own self worth, right?
So, grab the free worksheet.
Also, join my free private Facebook group,
“Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
I'll drop links to both of those down below as well.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
Thank you so much for stopping by.
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Remember today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
I will see you in the next video!