Congress spent the day debating the
rules that were established by
Republican Senate Majority Leader Mitch
McConnell now a lot of Democrats are
saying the new rules are unfair that
they're designed to give the president a
clear advantage I don't know much about
this process so I've asked an expert to
join me please welcome via satellite
senior Republican aide to Senator
McConnell Jim fence let's get it
thank you thank you for joining us Jim
I'm sure it's been a busy day
it certainly has Conan but I'm never too
busy for justice okay now people are
really upset with some of your rules
like one that had key evidence being
presented late in the evening when most
people in America would be asleep it's
even earned Senator McConnell the
nickname midnight Mitch well believe me
I've heard all the nicknames midnight
Mitch Moscow Mitch mud pants Mitch that
was from one very specific end yeah now
got out we can imagine yeah yeah there's
Mitch McKinley's and human caterpillar
yeah the bespectacled penis I hadn't
heard some of these some of these a new
senator McTernan 100% that Mitch
okay now we got it let's just talk about
the new rules Democrats think some of
them are very unfair oh I think our
rules are extremely fair like this rule
Democrats get a full 24 hours to present
their case well that's not bad during
which time Republicans will get an air
horn like this one that they can blow
whenever they hear something they don't
like
case dismissed congratulations mr.
president
all right now you know okay you don't
have the authority to just dismiss
another rule each day the Republican
senators will choose one secret word and
every time a Democrat says that word we
get to add two more years to Donald
Trump's term
today's secret word was president but
that's not fair someone is definitely
going to say president said it you heard
him that's two more years he in 2022
you're still ignoring the biggest issue
witnesses will we get to hear witness
testimony during the trial of course
after a very simple majority vote each
witness for the Democrats is free to
present their testimony that's great
news
providing they can free climb our
terrifying 60-foot Tower of destiny
without being knocked off by one of our
well muscled in ruthless Republican
renegade warriors like switchblade nin
Jarrah and road rash
my money's on road rash he's a he's
running for Senator this yeah yeah I
think I heard enough but thank you Jim
and I appreciate it I gotta go anyway
Conan Chuck Schumer's about to take the
stand and the new rules say that
whenever Schumer speaks he he has to
wear this hat very nice better load up
my air horn Tata
[Music]
[Applause]
Chris Cornell everybody
you