Today we lay the smack down.
Let's talk about that.
( music playing )
Good mythical morning.
And good mythical luck getting through today's episode
without a few bumps and bruises because today we are getting buck wild.
And I'm not just talking about the wild foraging for Rice Krispies made of insect poop
- that we'll be eating later on. - ( grunts )
I'm also talking about getting wild in the ring for WrestleMania.
That's right, it's time for...
Okay, what we're going to do is conduct a test to see who can perform
the most accurate wrestling moves based only on verbal instructions.
And normally, we would be competing.
- Right, yeah. - But honestly, there's too much risk involved
with our aging bodies, so we have asked two friends of ours,
experts in the field, if you will, to come in and compete in our place.
They're going to listen to Stevie's instructions and each attempt the move.
Then Rhett and I will sit here in the comfort of the desk
and give a score of one to ten based on how close they got to the actual wrestling move.
Whoever has the most points will win the first ever
GMM Wrestling Federation championship belt.
( yelling )
- Hey, I'm Randy. - And I'm Dandy.
both: We're the Mandy brothers. Randy and Dandy Mandy.
Those numbnuts Rhett and Link asked us to do some wrestling moves.
That's right. We're gonna execute these wrestling moves in pristine perfection
'cause we're not a pile of wet wusses.
- Let's do this! - Right!
This is my training partner, Dirty Paul.
This is my sparring partner, Floppy Fred.
He gets me drinks and he pops the zits on my back before a match.
Stevie:
Never heard of it.
Facing your opponent, take his head and put it between your legs.
Flip your opponent into the air and put him on your shoulder.
Clasp both hands around your opponent's face.
Fall onto your butt driving the back of your opponent's skull into your shoulder.
As your butt hits the ground, release your grasp on your opponent.
- That's a mouthful. - You're going up, Paul.
- You first? - Yeah!
Here we go. ( grunting )
Okay, this is the part I know you like.
Ooh.
I heard that.
You okay?
And then we're done.
All right.
Get down.
Whoop!
( grunts )
( vocalizing )
Yeah! Couldn't have done it without ya.
Whoo! Boo-ya.
Nice work, Randy and Dandy.
All right, let's see what Randy did.
Link:
Oh, very limber.
Not Randy, but the other guy.
Rhett:
- Link:
Link:
Rhett:
Link:
There's a little spread eagle thing that happens there.
It's got a theatrical element, which is nice.
Well, let's see if Mandy did any better.
- Link:
-
Oh, there it is. Oh, went way over the shoulder. Boom.
- Rhett:
All right, now let's watch former WWE superstar, Victoria,
show us how it's actually done.
-
- Whoa! - Yeah!
- Rhett:
Rhett:
You know, Dandy did do a similar move.
I think that I'm gonna go with-- I'm gonna give this an eight.
-
- Rhett:
And then Randy, the opponent was sitting on the shoulder
and didn't go over the back and then-- oh, gosh.
Nobody wins when Randy does that.
I'm gonna give that a three out of ten.
Wow, that seems generous to me.
All right, let's move on.
Stevie:
- We'll get some nuns involved. - Yep.
Facing your opponent, grab his right arm with your left
-
Pull him towards you and hook your left arm around his neck.
-
Kiss your opponent on the forehead.
-
That's not-- that doesn't jive with my brand.
Spin your opponent driving him face first into the mat
-
All right, Dandy, show me what you've got.
( grunting )
Oh! That hurt me more than it hurt the dummy.
( coughing )
- You okay, Dandy? - I'm ready. Your turn.
Grab you, pull you close.
Is it lips or forehead?
I'll do both just in case.
( grunting )
Ooh! Ooh!
Pay no-- pay no attention
to the man without a wig.
- Hey, man. - Don't look over here!
- Don't break character. - Don't look over here, man!
- What are you doing? - Nothing. Just got a quick haircut and it grew back.
Okay, now let's get a replay of how Dandy did.
Getting ready. Getting re-- takes a moment.
You gotta-- you gotta grab a guy to have-- oh.
- Rhett:
Rhett:
Dandy looked very stunned at the end of that.
Let's see what Randy did.
Link:
Looks like they're about to dance. Yeah.
- Rhett:
-
- Link:
We gotta see the real thing. This is the Sister Abigail as it's supposed to be performed
by Bray Wyatt.
Okay. Ooh, okay. We're in the same place now.
Link:
-
- You throw backwards. - You throw backwards.
You throw backwards. Let me judge Randy first.
Now, see, now Randy does the drape, he does the kiss,
nailing it so far. Second kiss for added measure is nothing to be ashamed of.
- Rhett:
is the opponent landing on his face?
- Rhett:
You know, you didn't land in the right way,
but, I don't know, I'm saying
that's a good seven...
Rhett:
...out of ten.
I mean, that's pretty good
going blind in there, Randy.
Don't call me Randy.
- I'm talking to Randy. - Oh, Randy, yeah.
Now, Dandy did some interesting things,
but the picking up from the back and tossing over,
while it's a cool wrestling move,
it's not really what-- it's not really what happened
'cause it makes the falling down
completely inconsequential,
so I'm gonna have to give that a five.
Link:
And he, evidentially, has stunned himself.
Yeah.
Stevie:
- Ooh, yeah. - Never heard of it.
Facing your opponent's back,
drape his inside arm over the back of your head.
Grab your opponent under his inside hamstring
and, as you begin to spin,
lift him into the air as high as you can
in a cradling position.
Spin a full 180 degrees,
keeping your head between your opponent's legs.
Drop your opponent onto his back between your legs
and land with at least one leg over his outstretched arm
to apply a proper pinning predicament.
Predicament.
This is quite a predicament.
Why don't you go first.
Okay, here we go, Paul.
Don't hold back, Randy.
( grunting )
Whoa! Whoa, I'm seeing it!
- I'm seeing it! - Avert your eyes, Dandy!
- I'm seeing it! - Avert your eyes!
I'm seeing it!
Okay.
I'm looking away, I don't wanna cheat.
I think we nailed it.
Whoo!
Ooh-hoo!
Pick him up,
throw him over my shoulder,
grab the back of the hamstring.
( grunts )
Whoo!
( grunts )
Oh, no!
Yeah! Yeah!
Whoo!
Pinning predicament engaged.
Okay.
Let's see how Randy did this one.
Link:
Rhett:
Link:
Rhett:
- Link:
Link:
When is this gonna end?
Rhett:
Link:
Rhett:
- What did Dandy do? - Let's see Dandy.
Link:
throwing him over, okay.
Oh, tickling the thigh.
Bring-- ooh, bringing him back.
Rhett:
( both exclaim )
Link:
He shook his hair off for a second.
- Yeah. - That was quite an impactful ending.
Yeah, it's kinda surprising to learn that the hair is not real.
Oh, it's real it just has an extension cord.
Rhett:
Let's see how the real thing is done.
This is the Blue Thunderbomb done by Sami Zayn.
-
Oh, man, they're so much better.
Link:
It's like a ride at the state fair
that you don't survive.
Rhett:
is that Dandy actually puts him up
onto his shoulder in the proper way.
Link:
I mean, I don't have any skin in this game,
but I think he's doing pretty great.
Rhett:
and Dandy kinda just added insult to injury
-
Rhett:
but I think this is another solid eight.
-
on the other hand, the way that the crotch
is on the chin is not something I'm seeing
in any professional situation.
Rhett:
Link:
there's no slam, there's just a drop
and a step over, which, I mean,
I might give one, two style points for that.
- Rhett:
-
for Randy for that one.
Feels pretty fair.
Stevie:
I'm gonna give you the name of the move, but nothing else.
- Cool. - Nothing else?
Does it look like we've been needing instructions?
Please perform a Gorilla Press Into a Standing Moonsault.
- Moonsault. - Standing Moonsault.
Gorilla Press I know.
Gorilla Press to a Standing Moonsault.
Dandy, you hit this one first.
All right, he's down.
Hoo-hoo!
( grunting )
Ooh!
Whoo! Boo!
Boo! Boo!
Boom!
Moon to Moonsault.
Scene.
Eat it, Randy!
The thing that I've learned is that
most wrestling moves involve putting you and your partner
in a slightly compromising situation.
So we're gonna start...
in a tra-- Hey, don't get any ideas.
We're gonna start... ( laughs )
in a traditional wrestling pose.
Like college wrestling, you remember that, Paul!
You remember those days at Iowa University.
Right?
He's a mute, you dummy.
Okay, Paul, Gorilla Press to full moon.
Like that chick on "Shape of Water."
Okay. ( grunting )
Okay. One, one hand off.
Something ripped.
Another hand.
Okay.
( grunting )
Lot of grunting.
Oh!
There's stuffing going everywhere.
Thanks, Paul.
All right, let's see Dandy's Gorilla Press into Standing Moonsault.
All right, draping him over,
lifting him up.
- Rhett:
Rhett:
Link:
Nothing but showmanship there.
-
What?
Oh. Whoa.
Link:
-
What? That...
That feels wrong.
Let's see what Randy did.
Link:
Oh, wow, oh, goodness.
Like some torture.
- Rhett:
Link:
Rhett:
Link:
- Rhett:
Rhett:
-
Rhett:
Link:
of an opponent.
Rhett:
whoa, now his head came off?
- Link:
It's multi-faceted.
Link:
Rhett:
And then... and then...
Link:
Let's see the real thing from Apollo.
Okay, yup, that's...
-
Rhett:
Link:
- Rhett:
There was no pulling off of hands.
Rhett:
Link:
in all of its violent glory,
is anything I'm seeing in Apollo's performance.
Zero out of ten.
- Rhett:
Rhett:
Link:
for effort and violence.
Rhett:
at the right time at the beginning
doing the Gorilla Press, but the butt-to-butt contact,
I put Dandy at a ten
and then, every time he puts his butt on the other guy's butt,
-
Rhett:
so I'm working all the way down to a four.
( both laugh )
Link:
I think he still came out on top.
He wins, 15 to 25.
That means the new GMM Wrestling Federation
Heavyweight Champion is Dandy Mandy.
Whoo! Whoo-ooh!
Yeah!
Yeah, daddy!
It's too big for you, man.
Thank you, Rhett and Link! Whoo!
Keep watching to see Rhett and Link
eat some insect Rice Krispie poop.
Get a GMM hat and T-shirt
to go with that championship belt,
available at mythical.store.