You have been told a million times that you need
to be liked to be successful at work, but your
coworkers don't seem to like you. No matter how
hard you try doesn't matter. Today, I'm going to
share the shocking truth with you. But first, we
need to ask ourselves a very important question,
do they really not like you, just because you
might feel like coworkers don't like you does not
mean that they don't like you. This is something
that I've seen out in the world and with my
clients. And there's a few reasons why you might
feel like they don't like you, when in fact, your
coworkers actually do like you. First of all, is
it possible that you're projecting that you don't
like your coworkers? So you feel like they don't
like you? But really, it's your own vibe that
you're picking up? Or on the other hand? Is there
a real tensions? Is there maybe something that
happened? Was there conflict with a co worker? Or
maybe if you're being honest with yourself, did
you do something or say something to your co
worker that made them not like you? Another reason
I actually see frequently is that, in fact, your
coworkers have no issue with you. It's not that
your coworkers don't like you, it's that you're
feeling insecure, or like you don't fit in, maybe
you feel like you don't have anything to add,
because everyone else is so much smarter or
something like that. And really in that case, we
need to work on your confidence. And this is where
I really think your unique awesomeness quotient,
your UAQ really comes into play. And it's one of
the reasons why it's so important. The other thing
that can come into play here as well is just
getting to know kind of the norms of the workplace
that you're in, especially if you're new workplace
culture is going to vary from company to company,
and even office to office. So it could be that the
people at your company just have a different
disposition and maybe are a little bit less
friendly, or, or have maybe firmer work life
boundaries than what you've become accustomed to.
That said, I do feel like in general, the vibes
that we're picking up for picking up for a reason.
And that reason might be that your coworkers don't
like you. And one of the things that we need to
take into consideration to figure out if this
matter is is what impact is it actually having.
And there can be a big range here, most typically,
what you're going to see if you have to work with
a co worker who doesn't like you, or a group of co
workers that you just don't get along with so well
is that it's going to create some minor
annoyances, like maybe they aren't turning to you
and asking for your opinions in meetings, or they
accidentally leave you off of a team email
distribution. But in these cases, while they're
annoying, they're not actually having any impact
to the work that's being done. Is it creating the
best, most positive work environment? No, it's
probably not. But in the scheme of things, it's
really not a big deal, and who needs to be on
those emails Anyways, on the other hand, at the
extreme, if you have coworkers who don't like you,
this could be showing up as bullying as
harassment, it could be discrimination. And
obviously, when those extreme toxic workplace
behaviors are present, this is going to matter a
lot more than if it is a small and minor nuisance
that you have to deal with every so often, and you
can just selectively not care about and from
there, we need to consider what the actual impact
is at work and in your career based on how that
dislike is showing up at work. As I mentioned,
this is generally going to be experienced as small
nuisances that you have to deal with your typical
workplace BS. That said, there is a big difference
between coworkers not being your friends, and a co
worker who dislikes you being unable to work with
you, if a co worker just likes you. And they're
lashing out making snippy comments, you know, a
lot of the BS that I talked about in the five
villains at work video, which you definitely need
to check out. If you haven't already, I'll link it
down below. If you're working with a coworker or
co workers who don't like you, this can have
impacts to team morale, the quality of work that's
being done if they're leaving you out of meetings,
or out of communications, and it can even create a
toxic work environment within your team or even
within your company, which is not good. That said,
I think that most people know that how they act is
noticed by the people around them, and especially
by leadership. So I think even if you're dealing
with coworkers who don't like you, they're still
going to work with you and find ways to be
productive, because otherwise it's going to make
them look really bad. Which brings us to answering
the question does it matter and here is going to
be my probably unpopular opinion, and it's
probably gonna earn me a lot of thumbs down. It
does not matter if your coworkers like you, there
is a golden rule that I want you to keep in mind.
If you need to write it down, write it down. In
fact, this is so important. I'm going to put a
post up over on my Instagram account so that you
can screenshot or save the post just so you have a
nice visual reminder, the only opinions that
matter at work are the opinions of the people that
make or influence the decisions surrounding your
promotions, your pay increases and your
performance reviews. So let's dig into it. Here
are your coworkers writing your performance
reviews.
Now if you're in a 360 performance review model,
they might actually have an opinion in there by
Generally still, you're asking people to be
reviewers, your coworkers are definitely not the
ones making promotion decisions about you. In
fact, these coworkers who dislike you might
dislike you because they're threatened because
they know you're going to get the promotion that
they want. Maybe you're a top performer and you're
making them look bad. And that's why they don't
like you, and you can't dim your light to make
them happy. It wouldn't be fair to you, it
wouldn't be fair to the company. And quite
honestly, they wouldn't be fair to them. Another
consideration that goes into coworkers opinions,
not really mattering is what impact do they have
in your career now and last one are those
coworkers who doesn't like you is promoted over
you, which I know from the comments and the
conversations that we've had, this has happened to
a few of you. But unless that happens, there
again, not going to be in the seat making those
decisions. The point is, it doesn't matter if your
coworkers like you, it doesn't even matter if your
coworkers hate you. As long as you were able to
productively work together their opinion of you
does it make a difference? Now, that's sad. In
general, making people like you is actually really
easy, like absurdly easy. And while coworkers
liking you is not a requirement for career
success, it absolutely makes life a lot easier and
a lot happier when you do get along with your
coworkers. And when they like you, and they say
good things about you and give you praise. And as
I mentioned, likeability is really important with
anyone who is going to make decisions, or have
influence over decisions regarding your pay your
promotions, or your performance reviews at work.
So in my next video, I'm going to give you five
tips that take less than five minutes to implement
to make you more likeable at work. So if you want
to check that out, make sure you're subscribed,
tap the notification bell so you know as soon as
it comes out. But there's one more thing that I
think is really important for us to talk about.
Because while your coworkers don't have to like
you, in order for you to work together, there is a
certain type of relationship that you need to have
with your coworkers. And that is a productive and
positive working relationship. You don't have to
like each other to be able to work together and to
have a positive functioning, working relationship.
Now, this is something that is so important, I
actually made an entire video about it. So if
you're in the boat, where you have a co worker who
doesn't like you, but you want to make sure that
you have a good working relationship with them, go
and check out this video right now and I'm going
to break down exactly how you can establish that
relationship. But before you go, if this video
helped you tap that like button, it really helps
my channel and it makes you my favorite career.
Bestie so really, it's a win win situation. As
always, thank you so much for watching. I will see
you in the next video my friend. Bye for now.