Hello underachievers.
So, before we get into the video,
I have a few things to remind you, of the first being that I'm ill i'm.
A little bit sick,
so if we could have some pity sad faces in the comments that would be wonderful.
But no, I am touring America soon.
These are the tour dates.
I'm going to all these places.
There are still tickets available apart from in New York and LA,
they're both sold out.
Boston and Chicago are very close behind.
They're going to sell out too,
so if you want to grab some tickets,
if you want to see me at tour in America,
then you should grab the tickets now in the description,
because they are going.
They will not return.
We also have VIP upgrades available,
so if you want to hang out with me and ask me some questions
and take some pics and get an exclusive merch thing,
then grab them.
Also, my brand new song "Chasing Daylight" is out now.
You should give it a stream on Spotify or you can watch the music video here.
The music video, Corry did all the work.
He did a good job, so go check that out.
And finally, my brand new EP, "My Brain After Therapy" is out June 3rd.
Please, pre-save that below,
it really helps the performance,
and we also have some vinyls.
We have some CDs and some stickers, and that's really cool.
So if you're interested in any of that, description below.
So, it's been almost half a year since I kept up to date with trans TikTok.
Most of my TikTok is just videos dogs, or cats, or rats,
or just anything animal, really, bunch of capybaras.
So, today I thought i'd keep you guys updated with what's going on with trans TikTok,
because we love that big group of diverse people.
And speaking of diversity,
I would like to thank the sponsor of this week's video, Switchcraft,
who holds the most diverse group of characters I've ever seen from a mobile game.
So, Switchcraft is a gripping mystery story about modern day witches,
led by a strong female protagonist,
who also happens to be a witch.
Pretty much the protagonist Bailey
has made it her mission to solve the disappearance of her bestie.
It really does feature TV worthy writing,
but you can choose your own adventure,
there are hundreds of choices that you can make
that will completely change the outcome of your story.
And when I tell you the aesthetics are insane,
I truly mean that they are insane.
This is the prettiest mobile game I've ever seen,
and I really do mean that it kind of resembles modern graphic novels,
you know, with like, a hand-painted vibe.
And back to diversity this story features over 85 different characters
from all different kinds of cultural backgrounds.
There is a hell of a lot of LGBT representation,
as well as disabled representation.
For example, you've got Janice Sullivan, who is a bisexual messy slacker;
you've got Dr. Van Geest, who is a pansexual trans woman;
you've got Arash Shirazi,
who is rumored to have links with the Iranian royal family;
and you got Kyle Wilson, who is gullible as hell.
I usually do not take sponsorships from games,
but Switchcraft is here for a reason.
I've really had a great time playing it myself and it's just so beautiful,
and the game experience is so good.
Wverything just works so smoothly, like look how smoothly these gems match up.
They also have frogs, which I just love that,
and Magnus the cat!
But yeah, I really just enjoy the game, and if you want to download it,
there is a link in the description below to download it.
I am sure you will have a great time playing it.
So, thank you again to Switchcraft for that,
Let's get on to these trans TikToks!
As I said earlier, I really do not consume a lot of trans content,
because I've been here for a good few years,
kind of tired of it,
but I am really interested to see what things are looking like now on TikTok,
because I do not use TikTok for that purpose.
So, the first trans TikTok is this one:
- Get your [ ] ass up and be trans.
It seems like no one wants to be trans these days.
- So true... - Everyone wants to be cis.
You have to surround yourself with people who want to be trans.
- I can't disagree-- I'm joking, this TikTok is clearly a joke.
I feel like a lot of angry cis transphobes would see this
and get really angry and I feel like that makes me enjoy it more.
But yeah guys, if you're not trans right now,
what are you doing?
What are you thinking?
Why not?
I'm joking, obviously.
I do not intend to trans anyone, that is not the vibe.
But I don't know, these are my favorite kind of trans jokes,
because they really just reflect what I think transphobes
are actually thinking trans people are doing.
I read a tweet about me recently from a TERF,
where they called me "Noah Pied Piper Finnce",
if you don't understand the reference, let's just Google it!
What is it to be a pied piper?
One that offers strong but delusive enticement,
a leader who makes irresponsible promises,
and a charismatic person who attracts followers,
so I think the gist is that people think trans people,
especially trans YouTubers, are trying to trans their kids,
but now it's on TikTok, so there could be more of us!
But yeah, I really, you know,
I don't understand what transphobes think trans people's motivation is
force trans in kids...?
I don't think anybody wants to put anybody through that kind of difficulty,
but yeah, either way I'm a big fan of this TikTok.
It's a big joke, don't take it seriously.
Next TikTok!
I have seen a bunch of these and I never know how to respond to them,
but I like them, but this is:
"How are you so comfortable with being trans?"
This is a trans person and they say:
"Noah raised a soldier, not a [ ]".
I don't know the song.
I don't know what that means,
but I think it's really nice that
they feel that I helped them be more comfortable being trans.
I don't know, it's kind of strange when I get tagged in content like this,
because I really just that, is not like, the goal.
I'm kind of just putting my life out there and the fact that like,
maybe it helps some of you guys...
Very nice, so, good TikTok.
Thank you trans TikToker.
So, this next tick tock is about bottom growth.
If you don't know already...
When you start testosterone as a trans guy or non-binary person,
or just like, any person assigned female at birth starting testosterone,
there's a thing that happens with your genitalia.
The most sensitive area, shall we say.
Experiences some growth and it kind of turns out a bit like a micro penis.
So this video, I'll just show you it.
So, someone says:
"Is it bad or low-key want to know what that looks like?"
Referencing bottom growth.
- So, a lot of people said they want to know what bottom growth looks like,
and for obvious reasons I can't just really whip out my meat on camera,
but I think I've found a very accurate and educational model
of what's going on down below.
- Yeah, sounds right.
I can't disagree.
So, the next TikTok is by a user called "stopmakingmecrydude".
I enjoy that.
I don't know why I enjoyed that username so much,
but here's what happened when this person makes a funny trans joke.
Being in a room full of cis people when you make a trans joke...
Very interesting, very fun experience.
I tend to do this a lot because I'm...
A lot of the time in spaces where I'm the only trans person.
I love to whip out a trans joke, because you know,
I feel like a lot of people feel very hyper sensitive
when they're around a trans person.
They don't want to mess up what they're saying,
they think we're going to explode and go crazy if they get our pronouns wrong.
But I, you know, like to let people know, that I'm chill.
It's chill, we can clear the elephant in the room,
because sometimes people get really weird about people being trans.
It's not like, about any type of bigotry.
I think people just don't really know what to do,
but like I'll make a trans joke,
I'll joke about having my tits chopped off.
And sometimes it really lands.
Sometimes people are like,
"haha, that's funny, you're talking about your tits getting chopped off",
and sometimes people just don't know how to react.
I'll be like, "yeah, I was a girl, I had my tits chopped off".
And sometimes people just like don't say anything,
they kind of just laugh uncomfortably.
And the goal isn't to make people uncomfortable, but it is a bit funny.
But yeah, I feel like trans jokes for me aren't funny,
when they're told to other trans people because I'm just like,
"we've heard them all, we've done this".
But when when you turn trans jokes around cis people
and they laugh, I enjoy it.
So this next TikTok-- I'm not sure the context,
but Becky says, "y'all like lesbians holding door frames lately".
Maybe that's the thing on lesbian TikTok that I'm not aware of.
I'm not on lesbian TikTok.
I'm sure that would upset some people.
But yeah, you're like lesbians holding door frames lately? Let's go.
So it's a lesbian holding a door frame.
You look good!
You look good.
How about a trans guy?
I like that one.
I too enjoy making height jokes.
I am often in situations where I'm surrounded by several people
that are over six foot and I don't know why.
I don't know why I have tall friends, but it upsets me.
Like, I literally go to parties and I have to look up to make conversation with people,
and sometimes when I'm in a group of really tall people,
they're all on each other's eye line.
So they're just looking straight up, they're not gonna look down at me.
So you gotta add in a height joke,
so that they know that you know you are short,
because they wouldn't know otherwise.
Maybe they think I don't know I'm short.
So, next TikTok.
- Hello baby!
- Hello.
- Shit!
- Okay! If you didn't understand this trans woman
getting catcalled and followed by a guy.
That's gross, that's really gross!
I really enjoy it when trans women use their deep voice to scare off men.
I don't know why I find it so funny.
I feel like it's kind of some sort of superpower that trans women
could do that with their voice.
That's badass!
Next TikTok.
"Something trans people go through that's never talked about".
What is it? What could it be?
"Getting so many [ ]".
Well, I can't argue with that.
I find it really-- Not funny, it's very sad,
very depressing!
But I find it kind of funny how a lot of people will tell trans people
that they'll never find love, that they'll never have a partner,
that no one will ever be attracted to them.
And I understand why some trans people feel like that about their life,
because I felt like that about my life,
because I had people telling me that I'd never find love
and that I should just settle for anybody that's attracted to me,
but I have no problem.
Every trans person I know has been in a relationship,
or is in a relationship, or at least [ ].
But yeah, it really is such a struggle getting so many [ ].
Not [ ], women!
I don't call women "bitches", I was just referencing the TikTok.
It is very difficult getting so many beautiful ladies!
So, next TikTok, another trans joke.
Let's see how it goes.
"What do you call a trans man who only eats vegetables?"
He says, "no hate, I'm trans and found it's so funny".
Okay, okay, what is it?
"A her before".
A herbivore... Okay, I like that.
I like that one.
You get it? Because herbivores eat vegetables.
"A her before. I was a her before".
I like it.
Next TikTok:
"Transgender people giving long multi-paragraph justifications
"and backstories for their new names.
"Non-binary people on their way to name themselves 'Moss'
"after thinking about it like twice".
That's funny.
Yeah, I don't know what it is!
I've seen like, a lot of non-binary people have names like "Twig", "Moss"...
I met a non-binary person called "Egg".
There's like "Fox" and "Owl".
I think it's badass.
I do not intend to make fun of these names.
I think they're cool, but also like...
The only reason my name is Noah is cause, back in the day,
I got a snapchat off of somebody and they said "you look like a Noah",
so I was like, "okay, guess that's my name now".
So yeah, I really did not think about it twice.
There weren't other names that were, you know, almost my name.
It was just "Noah".
"POV: You're talking to a trans guy".
- Please put your penis away.
- No.
- I'm not gonna ask you again, put your penis away.
- I am who I am.
Yeah, I never packed with socks.
I only ever packed with a packer and then I stopped because I felt silly.
Does anybody else feel silly when they pack with a packer?
It's not silly to pack with a packer.
If you pack with a packer, keep packing with the pepper.
Keep packing with pepper.
Pickle pepper!
Keep picking pipers.
Keep packing with a packer.
But yeah, I never packed with a sock.
I know a lot of other people do, though.
Next TikTok.
"Me being the nice little gifted girl during my childhood".
This was me.
I was a sports scholar,
I got a GCSE prize for the best results for a non-scholar,
I was smart as hell and then, you know...
Depression, so what happens?
Me being the nice little gifted girl during my childhood.
- You're such a clever little girl.
- Kill your parents, Tracy.
- "Now being the sad, trans, burned out, disappointment of the family".
Wow, I...
That sucks.
I never feel like I was a disappointment of the family,
but i feel like this is a vibe for a lot of trans people.
Next TikTok!
"When you make jokes about your one inch wiener
"and the cissies say you don't have one".
- I need to speak to a trans person.
I need to speak to a trans person!
- I love that audio so much.
Yeah, this is an interesting topic.
Like, a lot of trans guys just call their bottom growth
their wiener, their little dink.
I just do not.
I don't reference it at all.
I don't like thinking about it, but...
It kind of functions similarly to a wiener.
Obviously you don't [ ], unless you get surgery,
but it gets hard and it comes out, it gets bigger.
And it definitely does not look
like how you would imagine the female genitalia to look.
So yeah, continue saying it's a wiener,
because go ahead, just do it!
Next TikTok, we got Kailyn who is a transgender man.
- Hi, I'm Jake Gyllenhaal and I'm hosting SNL this week with Camila Cabello.
- "Gyllenhaal", your name is pronounced "Gyllenhall".
- I guarantee you it is not.
- Good TikTok.
I do not know where the idea that trans men are lesbians started,
I feel like a lot of people think that like,
trans guys are confused about their sexuality
or they want to run away from womanhood,
therefore they transition into men.
But most trans guys I know, they love men!
They are gay as hell!
Like, really, really, really gay.
I know a lot of people that felt that they were only attracted to women
and then they went on testosterone...
And then they were just like, "hey, you know what? Men".
I was definitely not a lesbian before I transitioned or after,
and that just wanting to dress masculine thing is interesting,
because at my gender clinic that I went to,
a question that they literally have to ask you is
"have you considered living in a female masculine role?"
As in like, "have you considered just being a tomboy?"
I also saw Arielle Scarcella recently saying that
they're trying to eradicate the term "tomboy".
They're trying to take away the meaning of it or something?
But tomboys certainly do exist, just trans boys are not tomboys.
They're just boys.
Unless they're called "Tom",
You can be a tomboy if you want!
- You're trans?
Prove it.
Yeah, I wore a binder for maybe like, four or five years before I got top surgery.
My posture was screwed.
I obviously don't want to like, fear monger,
don't want to get everybody scared,
but I had top surgery in 2019,
it's 2022 now and I still feel like I have complications from wearing binders.
Like, I went on my first run after I had top surgery
and realized that I wasn't properly breathing,
like I wasn't fully breathing out,
I'm fully breathing in, because when I was wearing a binder,
it was like constricting my lungs and my ribs and they weren't,
you know, doing the thing.
And I still, you know, I am not good at breathing.
I was not good at breathing beforehand, though, mind you.
I played a lot of hockey at school and for a good while
I was told that I may have sports induced asthma,
because I wheezed so much.
And then I realized I just was not breathing when I ran.
So maybe it's just me, but I don't think it is.
But yeah, binding is difficult and, definitely, posture, not great.
- Oh, God, being a woman is a curse.
Does anybody have a tampon?
- I hear you on that one. I'll get one for you, my friend.
- Huh... Okay.
- Oh, God, don't [ ], she realize I'm trans.
No, that's not enough...
- Why are you confused that I have tampons, I'm gay.
But yeah, this is interesting.
I enjoy talking about periods with women and being helpful with people's periods,
because I feel like I'm not so much uncomfortable with it, really.
I used to be a lot more uncomfortable, but it's a shared experience that sucks.
But yeah, I love when people are like,
"does anyone have a tampon?"
And I'm like, "me. Plenty of them. Tons".
Next TikTok.
I was tagged in this a few times.
- I can't help it that I'm platonically in love with Noah Finnce.
See? I got a tattoo of his name.
- Sure!
The vibes are so confusing, but thank you, I think...
Okay, last TikTok:
"Every trans guy after coming out:"
- And like, honestly, I'm having a proper full-on gay crisis.
- We love 'Heartstopper'.
I love 'Heartstopper'.
So good, so good...!
As I said earlier i know a lot of people that started testosterone and realized that,
hey, they were not just into women.
A lot of them started testosterone thinking they were straight,
they were just guys that were into girls and then they, you know,
they the longer they're on testosterone, the more they're into guys.
And obviously, it's not a kind of thing where like,
testosterone makes you gay.
Testosterone does not change your sexuality.
I think it just makes people feel more comfortable in themselves,
and then they're more comfortable to explore that side of their sexuality.
But the kind of opposite thing happened to me.
I was so convinced I was just gay when I started testosterone
and then I went on it and I realized I was bi,
and that I like women.
So, that's interesting, you know?
Going on testosterone does not, you know...
Just cause all those physical changes.
It does other stuff too!
I feel like the lighting has changed a lot and it's very bright now,
but that's the end of the video!
I hope you enjoyed it!
Again, if you want to go download Switchcraft,
the link is in the description.
Have a good day or don't!
See you later losers!
Goodbye.
I am punching you.