it's like raining like black snow and
then
it starts pooping there's literally
raining from the ceiling of course this
would happen on my shift
this was black friday in 2018
and i worked at the computers department
and i see like a bunch of employees are
all gathered around and i'm like what's
going on
and the first thing i see is there's
this couple this guy looked like he was
straight out of jersey shore
five foot four all righted out spray tan
the whole like pauly d spiked hair look
and his girlfriend like you know blonde
510 and right as i walk over on top of
like our
big apple display is a lemur that goes
like skittering across like i'm talking
like
straight out of madagascar zaboomafoo
like a ringtail lemur and this thing is
like a pink harness and a leash on so
this guy
brought this thing in to a best buy on
black friday as a pet
and of course being a lemur it decided
to just run straight up this one pole
that runs from where the registers are
all the way up into the ceiling mind you
this lemur now
has a harness and a leash on so it's
running around in the rafters where
there's all these like metal cross
hatching beams
and the leash is getting like wrapped
around stuff oh my god this thing is
going to get
caught and it's going to like hang
itself in the rafters the guy is like
trying to coax it down like it's a dog
he's like
come on come on calm down i'm like dude
this thing doesn't know what you're
telling it
the lemur is knocking down like all of
this
black dust that i'm sure has been
accumulating since the store was built
and then it starts pooping there's
literally
raining from the ceiling and just plop
plop plop
of lemur crap like landing on like the
screens of the register
and you can hear it like as it hits
because it's falling from like 40 feet
in the air i'm just standing there
thinking like
what the hell they can't get this thing
down we had like one manager left on
duty
so she calls our head store manager he
told her to call the fire department so
she calls the fire department then they
told her that she needed to call animal
control
and they said that they couldn't send
anybody out until the morning at this
point
i was just so burnt out from the day i
had to be back by like eight in the
morning for the next shift i'm like this
isn't my problem i'm leaving come to
find out that it did actually make its
way down by like 11 11 30 didn't get
hurt
i guess they banned both of them from
the store it was pretty crazy
i guess another day working in retail
[Music]
i had a customer come in and he told me
that he
had purchased fifty dollars worth of
minutes
on his boost phone and they never went
to
his phone i checked the system i told
him i'm sorry unfortunately
there's no proof that you purchased
these minutes and
he went scary crazy
he took his phone and he started
smashing it
on top of his head screaming you oh wait
a minute you owe me the minute you owe
me the minutes
i'm standing there like oh my god what
is this guy doing
and then he took the phone broke it in
half
threw it at me across the couch my
manager finally decided to call the cops
and he was escorted out
the most memorable black friday story
had to be about five years ago it was
about 2015.
it was in brooklyn new york and i can
tell you it was freezing outside it was
brick y'all and all i can remember is
walking about
two hours in before the store opening
and i could see a long line around the
block
i noticed there was a woman who appeared
to be pregnant and i was thinking
i've seen fights i've seen stampedes
i've seen people pulling each other's
hair over a tv
this probably isn't the most safe
environment for her to be in but hey
to each his own so i press on and i go
into the store
sure enough two hours later they allow
everybody to walk into the store
someone jumping on the loud speaker and
saying emergency now 5 cleanup emergency
and now 5.
i was curious to see why ran over to all
5 and lo and behold
it's the pregnant woman from outside
she's in full-on labor
i was like this is not happening right
now
all you see is water everywhere from her
water breaking police sirens is outside
the ambulances rushing in
i just remember her telling her husband
let me go without just get the tv get
the tv
and i was just like oh boy i hope she
doesn't name her child samsung
or target
[Music]
you