Hello everybody, and welcome back to another video.
Now, today’s video is gonna be more of an interesting one.
We’re gonna be taking a look at a... game, actually!
Sort of a game, a piece of software called “Microshaft Winblows 98.”
Now this was briefly mentioned in my Macintosh.js video.
It was one of the programs that I, uh, tried to install on the virtual machine.
And I had mentioned that I might be doing a full video on this and a lot of you guys
said,
“Yeah, do a full video on this program!”
So that’s what today’s video is all about.
Now Microshaft Winblows 98, as you may be able to guess by the name, is a
program that is kind of intended to parody Microsoft and make fun of Bill Gates,
and Windows, and this was released at a time, this was released in 1998.
And around this time, the antitrust case against Microsoft was getting started.
The company was accused of holding a monopoly on the computer operating
system and [in] the web browser space.
And they were eventually ruled to have that monopoly.
So this was a time when Microsoft was...
It was a very controversial period for Microsoft.
So this program essentially took advantage of that, and uh,
made a, I mean, the uh, developers who created this program, they were known as
Parroty Interactive.
They’re actually a division of Palladium Interactive.
All of the programs, at least as far as I can tell that they developed, were
parodies as you may guess by the name “Parroty Interactive.”
It’s just spelled differently.
So, let’s just start taking a look at this.
So, I’ve got, uh, in this Windows 98 virtual machine, we’ve got the uh, install CD
inserted into the virtual drive.
We’re gonna start it here.
Now this is just a, uh, very basic InstallShield wizard as you would
probably expect.
This is the default directory that it installs it to.
I believe it’s C:\...
Yeah, \Program Files\Parroty Interactive\Microshaft.
So, we will install it.
And so it comes up with this.
This is interesting: Parroty Interactive’s Browser Setup Program “will configure
your preferred Internet browser for use with online components of this product.”
So we do have Internet Explorer on this, uh...
So it’s just, actually, it’s not gonna find anything.
I believe it’s too new of a version because this is IE 6.0.
So yeah, it’s not gonna find anything, so we’ll just click Finish.
And it looks like we’re gonna launch right into the game.
So... *chuckle*
[♫ Quirky music with occasional chops in audio ♫]
So yeah.
[coughing]
So we get that wonderful introduction which is kind of...
meant to be like a parody and like, awful- sounding.
At least I would hope because it definitely doesn’t sound the greatest!
Uh, so this is your... your first uh, screen right here is this Microshaft Winblows 98
Login, so this is just to type in your name.
Uh, it’s already got this password in here for you, so you just click on OK.
It’s not like you have to actually log into this, it’s just to create like a user profile in
the game.
So the first thing that you get when you log, er, when you type in your name to log
into Microshaft Winblows is this brief introductory video featuring Meg and
Graham,
who are essentially the “hosts” of this program if you want to call them that.
They are... present throughout the entire program, throughout the entire game,
and they explain...
essentially what your goal is in this program.
And then you move on to this logo here, where you get the first sign of the many
puns that are to come in this program;
“Where do you think you’re going today?”
Obviously a pun on Microsoft’s slogan from the time which was “Where do you
want to go today?”
And this right here is the main interface for Winblows.
So if you sit on the desktop and don’t click on anything for a while,
Meg and Graham will start to constantly nag you every couple of seconds
to click on something.
And this happens...
over and over again, like every 5 to 10 seconds,
until you click on something.
- [MEG] You’re going to have to click something.
We don’t get any more user-friendly than this.
- [GRAHAM] To quote a famous poet,
*Meg sighs*
“This indecision’s bug-in me.”
- [MEG] Better call the vet, I think your mouse is dead!
- [GRAHAM] Bill just made another $2 billion while we’ve been waiting for you
to click on something.
Bill wants a computer in every home...
but only if you’re going to use it.
CLICK ON SOMETHING!
- [MJD] It gets.
SO annoying.
And they do this, like I said, literally, every FIVE seconds when you don’t click
on something.
And the puns, like, oh my gosh, the puns.
They’re like dad jokes.
They are endless in this program, they’re everywhere, and you’re gonna see that as
we go throughout this program.
There’s this one where Graham is saying essentially what Duke Nukem would say
if you wait around and don’t do anything in the game for a little while.
But certainly, he doesn’t say it after 5 seconds of you being idle in the game.
But obviously, the pun has something to do with Microsoft, so...
here you go.
- [GRAHAM] Hello?
What are you waiting for, Windows 99?
- [MJD] And yeah, that—those are the kind of puns that you’re gonna be
seeing throughout this entire program.
So, let’s explore the desktop a little bit.
The windows, as you can see, are designed in a... bit of a funky way?
I guess that’s kind of a parody...
...for Windows...
...but that’s the way the windows are designed.
And you only have two windows and it’s not like you can close these or anything.
Uh, you can click on like, if you wanna click on uh,
Oh gosh, what the heck happened to the mouse cursor?
I believe, yeah, you can click on the File, Edit, and View menu.
I don’t know what just happened here, something kinda glitched out.
But...
Uh, Meg and Graham, in this window up here, is where they will come up and
give you...
*occasionally,*
information and things like that.
More often than not, it’s gonna be some pun or a joke,
as they’re doing right now because I’m not clicking on anything.
I have the VM muted because this gets very annoying.
Now this games, uh, window right here is what contains, there’s four games.
Like, kinda mini-games included within the Winblows game itself.
And as you beat these games, which we’ll go through each one of them in a minute
here, you will unlock uh, things in each of these icons on the desktop except for
Internet Exploiter, which is...
Remember in the setup when I was talking about that internet functionality?
That’s essentially what this is.
Although we don’t have it set up because if we click on it,
it can’t find the browser configuration file because again, we don’t have that old
version of Internet Explorer installed.
You also have two other things, the Start menu and the Billagotchi.
We’ll start with the Start menu first.
You can see that there is once again,
a pun on the Start menu button itself.
It says “START or we’ll hurt you.”
*chuckle* And this will change...
uh, as you close and reopen the program...
it’ll say something else.
Again, it’s just a pun on the Start button.
There you go, so we’ll open up the start button.
They essentially just reversed things that are already in Windows.
So you’ve got “Shut Up” instead of “Shut Down.”
Right?
So they just reversed, down, the opposite of down is up.
So they changed it to “Shut Up.”
And this is very appropriate actually because sometimes you just want this
game to SHUT UP and stop nagging you every 5 seconds to do something!
Moving up the uh, the list here, you’ve got Run, where when you click on this,
the person just runs across the screen.
Really funny, right guys?
Um, then we’ve got Help,
Lose,
You know why it’s called “Lose?”
It’s because it’s the opposite of Find, right?
So, normally in Windows 95 and 98, you’ve got a Find menu where you can
go into that and search for files on your computer.
Winblows has taken that and... reversed it!
So now instead of Find, you have Lose, which is the opposite of Find.
So you click on this and the icon goes away and you “lose” the icon.
And then after a while, this starts happening:
[*long, excruciating moan*]
So yeah.
We’re just gonna mute that because I don’t want this video to get
demonetized, but... *chuckle*
That’s an example of just some of the weird, like...
It’s just weird!
Like it doesn’t—that’s not even parodying Microsoft... at all!
It’s just—it’s just weird to be bu—
And then once we go into the Start menu, like, we’ve already taken a look at
Shut Up, Run, Help, Lose,
all this stuff.
Under Settings here, you’ve got the Outta Control Panel.
And then this is just a...
endless string of menus
that will just continue on until
it crashes and asks you to, I think it says like, “Exit [to] MS-DOS mode?”
So that’s the Start menu.
There’s not really any functionality for the game contained in there.
It’s just more puns.
Your other punny thing is the Billagotchi, which what this is...
Well, it’s a parody of two things, it’s a parody of Bill Gates, obviously,
and the Tamagotchi.
Now that I think about it, I believe that... moaning we heard before was from the
Billagotchi because I think Bill Gates uh, died, because yeah, that’s...
That’s what happens.
Obviously, with like a Tamagotchi, if you don’t feed the uh, pet, it’ll eventually die.
So that’s kind of what you have here with the Billagotchi.
So I guess our virtual Bill Gates died on us because I wasn’t feeding him money,
because yes, that is what you have to do in the Billagotchi, is feed him
money.
And you can punish him by I think like, slapping him or something, I mean it’s
just... it like, kind of explains how it works in here.
It tells you what each of these icons does.
So “Food Icon: Feed Billagotchi money when he’s hungry,” because,
you know, he’s a—he’s a rich guy and he likes money.
So that’s—that’s basically... what...
*chuckle*
That’s...
That’s what this is, it’s just another like, bizarre like,
Why?
Like, it just makes no sense, but that’s what they did!
So those are the four main interfaces on the desktop.
Again, the icons over here,
the games, the Billagotchi, and the Start menu.
Now, we’ve got four games here, The Roll Ahead, Win Bill Gates’ Money,
Pinbill, and Winblows Exploder.
We’ll start with The Roll Ahead.
This is a game, it’s like a dice game.
The name comes from, I mean, Bill Gates has a book if you don’t know, called “The
Road Ahead,” so it just basically takes that...
...and...combines it with a dice game.
So we just have one player.
So you can pick either Steve Jobs or Bill Gates.
We’ll pick Steve Jobs.
So this is a pretty simple game, you just have to...
roll this dice and move across the board.
It plays this pretty awful background music which you can turn off, thankfully.
To win, I believe you just have to roll and just get up here.
And you have these random things that can happen.
So right here, it says, “Sell all your Apple stock after being fired, then watch
Macintosh finally take off.
Doh!
Lose $5 billion.”
And this isn’t technically true, by the way.
Steve Jobs wasn’t technically “fired” from Apple, he was...
He was essentially, well, he just left when they’re—when the Board of Directors
sided with uh, John Sculley as opposed to him.
And that’s like a whole another... you know, story, but...
So in that case, I lose $5 billion.
And then Bill Gates is gonna go.
I mean, and this is—that’s just basically all what this game is.
You just roll the dice, and you see how...
So let’s see, in this case, I get a...
3, so I’m gonna move 3 spaces ahead, I’ll land on this...
“Finally have that big garage sale.”
Pfft!
$4 billion from a garage sale, are you kidding me?!
Who on Earth has a garage sale and they make $4 billion?
That's like, never happened.
So we’re back here on the desktop, and yeah, you can see that the Billagotchi, it
looks like Bill Gates, uh, our virtual Bill Gates has died on us like I said.
Now we interact with it though, I think?
I guess, maybe you can’t do anything, because you can’t really do anything
with these buttons, so maybe we just lost, uh...
Bill Gates here, so we can’t really do anything with the Billagotchi.
I don’t believe the Billagotchi really has any effect on advancing through the
game, it’s more of just a...
punny thing that’s on the desktop.
And here’s gonna come Meg and Graham again!
I mean, this is what I’m talking about, they don’t STOP.
I’m not moving the mouse for literally 5 seconds and they come up again.
Next up is Win Bill Gates’ Money.
And this is a trivia game show.
Steve Jobs is your host... uh, kind of, who explains how the game works.
- [STEVE] And I know you’re going [to do insanely] great.
‘Cause I expect nothing else.
For each trivia question, you’ll have four answers to choose from.
Just pick the number that corresponds to the answer of your choice,
and for every right answer, you get $1 million.
[♫ lively in-game music ♫]
- [MJD] So, Question 1.
We’re gonna start off with which one?
Now this is just pulled from a random string of questions.
I actually haven’t seen this one before.
- [STEVE] What is the correct binary translation for the phrase,
“Socrates is a man”?
1. 010 [...]
- [MJD] Oh, is he gonna actually say...?
- [STEVE] [...] 10, etcetera.
- [MJD] (laughing) Oh he just says “etcetera?!”
I thought he was gonna read out the entire thing!
- [STEVE] 3. 01010011, dot-dot-dot,
4. 01010101, yatta-yatta-yatta.
*MJD chuckles* You get the idea.
- [MJD] OK.
I actually haven’t seen this question before.
Alright, we’re gonna say...
I’m just guessing here.
- [STEVE] I can’t believe how stupid you are!
*MJD subtly laughs* - The answer is obviously #3!
Hah, you’re such a 0110010!
[♫ lively in-game music ♫]
- [MJD] Most of the questions I’ve seen in this can be answered very very quickly.
What’s the first program Bill Gates wrote?
Um...
Tic-Tac-Toe?
Yeah.
So, that’s an example of like, a trivia question, right?
That one before with the binary like, *chuckle*
I guess if you... uh,
had memorized the binary, like, what each letter is in binary, you could
probably solve that,
but for most people, they’re just not gonna solve that in like, 10 seconds.
It’s a trivia game.
Next up is Pinbill, which is...
yeah, a pinball table.
It kind of, in some ways, just the design of this panel on the right side, it kinda
reminds me 3D Pinball Space Cadet.
So you press the Ctrl key to control the left flipper,
and you can see I’ve got that Windows feature on that draws a circle around my
mouse cursor.
And then the Shift key is going to be for the...
right flipper.
You hold down Spacebar to launch the pinball,
you have to obviously hold it down a little bit,
and...
there you go.
So the... I mean, it just plays like a pinball table obviously, but it’s just filled with
again, more parodies.
And the...
points are denoted in dollars here.
So right now, I guess just from that, I’ve got $15,750.
Or I guess $15,750,000.
Yeah, so there you go, that’s—that’s uh, that’s Pinbill.
And then finally, we’ve got Winblows Exploder, which for some reason says
“Microshaft Exploder” when you launch the game.
And this is a space shooting game, essentially.
It kind of reminds me of Galaga.
I know some of you guys are gonna be like, “Oh my gosh, what do you mean?”
But, just the way that it...
you know, the way that these bugs, once you shoot the error messages, how they
kind of come down towards the bottom of the screen?
It just... kinda reminds me of Galaga.
Obviously, Galaga is a much better *chuckle* MUCH better game in every
respect than this.
But that’s—that’s what you have to do in this.
So what you do is you...
go through these games, you have to beat them, beat the levels...
do whatever you have to do to beat the games, and then you—
Oh my go— it just crashed.
(laughing) “Shaft has performed an illegal operation?”
Oh my God.
OK, so...
we’re gonna close out of this.
That was, that was unexpected, let me go ahead and launch the program again
here...
Eventually, you’ll unlock things in each of these programs here.
So again, CampusCam, MSTV Network, all of these over here,
on the left side.
And this will unlock various videos, like in CampusCam here, there’s all these
different videos that you have to watch to get to the end of the game.
And what you have to do is, essentially in all of these, what you’re gonna be
doing is either watching videos or reading things
to get clues to go over to this Tech Support thing over here on the right
side,
and enter this password here.
So you gotta figure out what this password is,
and then you click on OK,
and then you would launch into the next “level” of Winblows essentially.
And you do this multiple times until you beat the game.
Now if I’m gonna give this program anything, I will say that the artwork and
design of certain things is unique and creative,
but I think the program as a whole just spawned from a single idea:
And that was, “Make fun of Microsoft and Bill Gates.”
They were getting a lot of attention from the media and from the government for
their monopolistic business practices,
and it was very easy to make fun of them, and that’s what this program did.
And I think that the developers of this just tried to come up with as many
ideas as possible... to parody Microsoft, even when they don’t really make a
whole lot of sense.
Like the Billagotchi, and just some of the other things that we’ve seen in this
program.
It’s also got this Kitboga-style "Wasted Time" counter down here at the bottom
right,
where it literally keeps track of how long you’ve played this game,
or at least how long you’ve had the program opened, which is...
where most of this, like, I’ve not actually played this game for an hour and a half.
I’ve just been kind of trying to get through certain takes in this video,
but keep getting interrupted by Meg and Graham.
So yes, I’ve spent an hour, over an hour and a half,
of my time, of my life on this program, which is just crazy to think about.
But yeah, so it like, displays that to you in kind of a...
smug fashion there.
And oh look, it just crashed again.
That’s wonderful.
But there you have it, guys.
That is what Microshaft Winblows 98 has to offer.
Again, I think it’s just really more of a parody program.
I certainly would not have played this, like I certainly not have purchased this.
Maybe I would’ve bought it...
back then just to like, see what it was,
but I certainly wouldn’t spend that much time on it because it’s not really
that... entertaining, at least to me.
I mean, I guess, like, it’s got kind of, you know, again, all those punny riddles and
things like that, but...
Just nothing that...
...I could find hours of entertainment value out of, but...
That’s my take on it, I hope you guys enjoyed this video.
I know that a lot of you guys wanted to see it, so if you enjoyed this one, be sure
to give it a thumbs up.
Be sure to get subscribed down below and turn on those channel notifications
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on this channel.
And as always, guys, I wanna thank you all so much for watching
and I’ll see you...
in the next video.
[♫ Calm music ♫]