Hi guys, it's me, Ava
I'm 'bout to turn 19 in November. and let me tell you my 18th year was
Somethin. many lessons learned and I'm so grateful for all of it. And that's why I am Who I am today
So today I'm gonna be sharing with you guys that the biggest life lessons I learned when I was 18
I've done similar videos to this when I was 16, 17 and 18
6, you can't find happiness through other people. 1, not everyone has the same heart as you. At the end of the day yourself so love who you are.
This year I have grown to love myself so much. Now that I'm gonna be turning 19 I wanted to share with you guys everything that I learned this year
So let's get started
So I have been in a very reflective mood recently. I just graduated high school four months ago, which is so crazy
And I've just come to so many realizations since I finished high school
The person I was in high school versus the person I am now is just night and day
obviously
It's still me but there's just been so much personal improvements
Which leads me to the first life lesson that there's more important things going on rather than me
I was the type to get very caught up in my own personal experiences in drama that I wasn't seeing what was going on outside
of my circle
This lesson comes from an issue that I've been wanting to talk about
But I didn't know how I wanted to word things or talk about it
I finally realized that I just need to speak my truth to be straightforward and as simple as possible I came to this whole lesson
By maturing more and becoming way less self-absorbed. A lot of you
I'm sure are aware that I went on two rather problematic incentive trips with the company
Dote. I left and cut all ties with the company after the coachella incident?
But it took a long time for my manager to get me off of their app as a dope girl
that was just the right choice for me personally to just
Cut it
and now I've been told that some of the girls that were on the Coachella trip are still working with Dote and I
Respect that maybe their reason is because they want to help change the company from inside out
That might be some people's strategy to help the company fix their ways
But that just wasn't right for me. Without getting into too many details and to recap what happened
There were some issues of racism or social in-justices
That happened to a group of youtubers who were people of color
And whether or not the company was intentional or just plain ignorant is not the important part the important thing
Is that the situation should have never happened in the first place in this day and age. Looking back on those trips, I
Take full responsibility for my plain ignorance
I don't have an excuse on my end other than the fact that I was wrapped up in my own drama and I was very
Selfishly focused on having a good experience on my end
I wasn't paying attention to things that were going around me because I was just so concerned with myself and I was
Definitely in my own bubble, which let me tell you that has happened a lot with me
I get very wrapped up in what I'm doing and I just forget that there's other things going on around me that I need to
Pay attention to. Definitely should have been more sensitive to the bedding situation. Again,
I was just so concerned with having fun with my friends that I wasn't even thinking about how other people's
Experience was going and now moving on to the whole Fiji situation. There was a group of girls who were people of color
That weren't getting photographed. You guys know, I'm of very mixed race.
My dad is Portuguese, Filipino and Hawaiian and my mom is white and therefore I should have been more sensitive to that situation, too
I talk about this way too much, but you guys know I live in Hawaii
But if you didn't know Hawaii is very racially mixed. I'm actually in the majority. I do have to say that as her friend
I'm very proud of how Kiana handled the situation. We go way back one of the first ever trips
I went on we went to Canada she was there and she was basically my first youtube friend
So I really have to commend her how she handled the situation
So maturely I can't imagine going our brand trip and not getting pictures taken of you and that's kind of one of the big reasons
That you're going to promote the brand. In Fiji
I did get photographs
But there's actually one photographer who I didn't get a single photograph from and that part made me feel really bad
So I can't imagine not having photos from anyone.
A lot of you guys have asked me if any of the girls who had these issues talked directly to me about it and the
Answer is no. However,
I should have been way less self-absorbed and not in my own bubble that I should have taken note of these things and noticed
That something was wrong
that's my life lesson as I grow as a person it's really important for me to step out of my bubble and realize that
People are going through things as well and I can't just be so concerned on myself. Other people exist
They have feelings and I need to take that into consideration
And now that I'm maturing a big part of it is stepping on my bubble, making new friends and being aware of my social
Surroundings. That was life lesson number one
I know it was very long
But I needed
Like I said, to speak my truth and tell you guys exactly how I feel now moving on to life lesson
Number two this one took me a while to realize and I'm still working on
Remembering this and it's that you cannot please everyone no matter how hard you try
You can't make everyone like you it's impossible and that's why at the end of the day
You have to please yourself and be comfortable in your own skin because this is who you are
This is important whether you're a public person or not
And it was really important for me to learn this in my private life as well as my public life here on YouTube. I used
to be the worst people pleaser and sometimes I still am I have a really hard time saying no and that just comes from the
Fact that I don't like letting people down. I don't want to tell people no and make them upset at me
however
because of that I've put myself in situations that I
Definitely don't want to be in no matter what you say or what you do people are gonna disagree with you
ya know
I tried to put out a positive message on the Internet
spread awareness about the environment and things I care about and just spread a positive message and people still don't like me and I have
To accept that I'm not for everyone and not everyone needs to like me in order to love myself whether people like me or not
I think it's important that I need to love Who I am
I've come to the point where I'm truly happy where I am now and I definitely love who I am and who I'm becoming. I'm editing this
Right now I just wanted to add this in there and say that I think that what other people feel and think matters
Obviously, I'm not in a whole world by myself
I'm a part of society and I think it's important to consider the feelings and opinions of other people as an entertainer who you know
Tells you guys stories shares my life with you guys
I want to make sure to please all of you as best as I can
It has to be boundaries because at the end of the day the most important opinion is myself
however
I do value other people's
Opinions you and I are so close whether you've been with me for years or months or a couple of weeks
I share most of my life with you guys and you guys are my support system and I can't tell you how grateful I am
That you guys keep it real for me. Call me out when I need it
So I do think constructive criticism is a good thing. It definitely keeps me in check with reality more than one perspective
My perspective is very helpful, but I also have to have boundaries
I feel like if I can please the majority of people while also being myself and keeping it real with myself
Then I'll be truly happy and successful. So just want to put that in here
But yeah
You come first
even if people don't like you or disagree with you that doesn't mean you have to disagree or not like yourself and remember that the
Persons whose opinion matters most is your own
Opinion moving on to lesson number three is only a handful of people more if your luck
You will stay in your life for the entirety of its journey
Most people come and grow as you change either grow together or grow apart. That's just part of life and that's okay
I realized that a lot my 18th year just because I quit
Volleyball which was a huge huge change for me. Most of my friends were from volleyball
So once I quit that I didn't really have those friends anymore. And that was a part of my life that I'm happy for
I'm grateful for there's no need to be hard feelings about it
I'm like starting to cry. Ew, when you grow apart from friends, it's probably because you no longer have the same interest
Maybe you guys have a falling-out or you guys just totally take different paths and when friendships come to its end
You just have to accept it because that person whether they taught you negative lessons in life or positive lessons
they're still lessons that you learned everyone that comes into your life has something to teach you this past year my circle of friends has
Narrowed down so much
I'm gonna cry because I love my friends so much but ooh a what why?
I'm so I'm over here crying because I just want to say that I'm so lucky to have two of my best
Friends in the world and Nia and Kirsten they've both been on my channel a lot. So you guys probably know who they are
They are just the best. They're from my hometown
they've gone with me through so many life changes and ups and downs and they were with me throughout high school and that's when I
Had a lot of issues and problems with my life
So for whatever reason the friendships have ended and this goes for everyone
I think you should celebrate the good times and the good memories that you've had with those persons and just wish them well on the
rest of their journey throughout life and just because people stop being friends with certain people doesn't mean that there's beef. Sometimes
Friendships just come to a natural end and that's totally normal
What is important and is the big life lesson that I learned, is to cultivate
Friendships that help you grow as a person and that make you happy
Pour into the friends who pour into you those have been three life lessons that I've been the most impactful in my life
There's a couple more that I want to talk about that. I'm not going to talk as long about
I just wanted to talk about it another thing
I learned since I've been 18 is that your life is now at the end of the day. This is your life your experience
No one has
experienced life like how you are and therefore people can't control your life and tell you what to do when you're under 18 kind of
But what I mean is that you should do the things that you're passionate about that you love to do and don't let anything stop
you from doing those things the fifth and final life lesson that I'm going to talk about is that change is good.
Thank goodness that we as humans can evolve and change
Change is the only constant thing in life. You can't stop things from changing
I think doing the same thing for too long things can kind of get complacent
complacent place and
Boring and change expands you I think everything happens for a reason and if you don't know why something is happening right now
It's probably because better things are ahead. This stems from one of my favorite bible verses
John, 13:7, and it's Jesus replied you do not understand now what I'm doing
But later, you will understand. Whether you're Religious or not
I think it's a good quote to think about because sometimes you question why things are happening to you right now
But later it all kind of falls into place and make sense. That is it for my life lessons video
I know a lot of it has to do with serious stuff and it's just things that I needed to say
I can't believe I'm going to be turning 19 on November 11th. That is crazy
That is my last year being a teenager and I would want to say I am NOT ready for it
But I think I am ready for it. I am a woman
Hope you guys enjoyed my little
attempt at
Making this a little bit fall themed with orange shirt and a little pumpkin if you stay too let's point the video you're amazing
I love you and second of all comment down below one of the biggest life lessons
You learned in the past year of your life. Here's today's bread babe of the week
Thank you guys for supporting me it means the world to me and that's it
Heheh, I also sell bucket hats now. Just, just saying. I love you guys so much. Bye. Mwahh *clap, clap clap* <3