Mentally, I've been there, I know what it is to struggle.
But exercise makes me stronger, not just on the outside,
but on the inside too.
You're one tough cookie.
Breathe out, big push.
Bit of fight.
What can we do for you?
Well, I want a dick.
Yo! Yeah.
Give me another ten seconds.
I am the glute god.
I'll make the perfect peach for you.
Do you think there's pressure on blokes being muscly?
I'm into it in a way that I think that's impressive for a sport,
but I don't look at that and go, "Mmm."
I think men think that's what women want.
If I could sum it up in one word - shit.
It's not just not liking what you see,
but it's almost not being connected to what you see.
It's not just for the girls, though, is it?
Like, men feel like they need to be muscular?
Men have so many insecurities about their body.
You think it's just women, don't you?
Hey, guys. Hello! Hey! How you going? Hi, Eli.
Nice to meet you. Take a seat. OK.
What can we do for you?
Well, I want a dick.
Yo! Yeah.
What can I say? It's the end goal.
I'm nervous, because for me, I've not been to the gym in a while.
Yeah. I came out as a trans man.
Talk to us about your change, what got you to that decision?
Tell us a bit about that.
For as long as I can remember, all my life,
I'd always felt uncomfortable in my body.
To the point where I just hated my body.
It was only when I started dressing more masculine
and acting in more masculine ways
and I guess challenging all the stereotypes that it became more
and more clear to me that actually I'd been a guy all along.
It was a long journey, but I feel a lot better now that I'm here.
How do you feel, do you feel you've had support through this transition?
It was a lot for me to come out and actually start saying to people,
and be like, "Look, this way that you've seen me for
"X amount of years, actually, I need you to look at me differently.
"I'm a guy, I need you to start calling me 'he',
"and I'm changing my name and things."
It would be a lot for folk to take on board,
but my friends and family, they've all been really supportive.
That's good.
From day one, they were like, "OK, whatever makes you happy."
That's so amazing, that's so good to hear.
How do you see yourself looking? What do you want to look like?
I want to do what I can without getting testosterone.
Tone up a little bit, maybe have more definition in my back and arms.
I guess what could be seen as a more stereotypically masculine figure.
It is a long waiting list before I get even into surgery
and talking about the possibility of testosterone.
I now wear a binder day to day.
A binder's basically just used to flatten my chest.
If it gives me a bit more of a masculine appearance,
that's all I can do for the time being, I guess.
This means so much to you. Yeah. And that's why you'll stay motivated.
The biggest thing that stops people staying motivated
is that their goal doesn't mean enough to them.
It's about you having a vision for yourself and reaching it,
and that's where we want to get you.
It's something that I've found throughout a lot of my life,
regardless of how shit I feel, if I just go for a run,
immediately afterwards, I feel better.
Unless it's, like, absolutely pissing down with rain.
I love running in the rain. You'd just be flicking your hair
around in the rain, wouldn't you? Slow-mo-ing. Slow-mo-ing!
Opportunity to take a selfie.
Hashtag rain. Yeah!
Hashtag windswept.
I'll give you a programme, you help me with my hashtags.
Yeah, sounds good. Let's do it. Yep, let's go! Yeah!
He was a nice guy, wasn't he? He was cool. Eli's really nice.
I feel like they'll make a great team together.
So the programme I'm thinking for you,
we're going to go for some muscle building.
I think just sitting down and chatting with them,
I'm feeling a little bit better.
Like, I'm still kind of nervous,
but I'm ready for the challenge now, almost.
When you're standing, you're naturally bringing all of this
forward, and it completely changes what your body shape looks like.
So have a look at me, if I'm standing like this, the difference
between if I stood like this, how much different does my body look?
Slim and in-line, yeah.
I actually felt quite emotional when I heard Eli's story.
Roll them back.
For someone to come to us and explain that they want to
change their body because it doesn't feel like they belong in it
and it doesn't feel like it's theirs, that really touched me.
Even your shoulders now have gone from that, to that.
Already, that quickly, yeah?
There you go, job done, see you later.
Breathe out, big push.
Bit of fight.
Shoulders are definitely something that gives you
that broad and masculine feel.
This is six, are you struggling? Yep. Yeah!
Let's go, seven... Ooh! Don't worry.
Bang it up quickly and then slowly down.
Three, two, one.
5kg, you don't think about it. I know.
Don't look at the number, it's just a number.
You're working, I promise you.
Eli definitely knows what he's doing.
As soon as I give him the exercises, his technique is on point.
And he's even smiling while he's doing it, so that must mean to me
that he doesn't need to think about that technique too much.
There is spots where I've never felt that tense before,
but it feels good, because I know it's working.
Let's take it away.
I think Eli is really brave to speak out about
what he's been through and what he's going through,
and he could definitely help a lot of people out there
who could be in the same position and not know what to do.
There was a time when I didn't have much confidence,
around the ages of eight to 13.
I didn't want to go outside, really, and whenever I would go outside,
I'd have on this big, massive coat, almost as if I was just trying
to hide from the world and just blend into the background.
I was very, very aware that what was happening was wrong.
You kind of just went along with it.
And I stayed quiet and I didn't share that truth with anyone.
I just closed in on myself more and more and more.
It's really, really dark.
That's the best way to describe it, just a dark time.
I just knew that there was something better than this.
I knew there was a happiness that was definitely meant for me,
I just didn't really know how to find it.
Definitely, because of what happened, I'm much stronger now.
When it comes to body confidence,
it's about loving yourself from the inside out.
Things might happen in your life so your body doesn't look
the way that it used to look before,
so you have to love yourself through all of those changes,
and that is an inside job.
I believe that, when it comes to who we are as human beings,
sensuality is our power.
When people leave, I usually hear them talking in the changing room,
saying, "Oh, my God, I feel really light!"
I love that, because that means that, psychologically,
a weight has been lifted, and that's incredible.
The best self is the self you are right now,
because that's the one that's actually alive.
The past self no longer exists,
the future self is yet to exist, so you might as well just...
I like that, I like that. ..do what you're doing now.
I feel judged and self-conscious.
And I can't actually enjoy myself,
because I'm just worrying all the time about what other people
think of me or if they're saying, "Oh, look at her."
Hello! Hi!
Hello there, how we doing? Good, thanks, you?
So, what brings you here? I've just come out of a long-term relationship
and I just feel like I've let myself go a bit and I want to get
some more body confidence and just feel good about myself again.
It was mutual in the end.
But it's still really difficult.
It's never an easy thing to do, really.
So I'm still struggling with it.
So how long have you been out of your relationship
and how are you coping with it so far?
It's pretty fresh, like, two, three months? OK.
It's difficult. Like, that's your best friend
and you're used to speaking to them every day.
You feel quite lonely, like you don't have anyone any more.
So it's been pretty hard to adjust.
But I'm kind of getting used to it now.
I just want to concentrate on myself.
And it's good, that attitude, you're not just thinking,
"Oh, well, that's it." You're actually like, "Self-development."
That's good, I like that. Yeah.
I'm actually going to a hen party of my ex's best friend.
So I just want to look good in a bikini on the beach.
Because I know that he's probably going to see these pictures.
I don't want to make my ex-boyfriend jealous,
I just want to show him what he's missing out on.
What aspects of your body are you looking at,
what are the bits that you specifically want to work on?
I used to have a really nice bum, and now I've kind of let go.
It's sort of dropped a bit. I want a nice, pert bum.
I like how you did that, when you said that.
You used to have a nice bum.
It's still that shape, but more like, down here.
Peachy. Yeah!
Want it peachy. Yeah.
I am the glute god.
I'll make the perfect peach for you. Yes, please!
In a professional way, of course.
Let's go build that peach.
Come on, girl.
It was really good meeting the PTs.
I'm super-excited to get started and I can't wait to see what's in store.
We're going to start with a glute raise for the peach that we want.
And back down.
I'm just going to dive in and give it my best.
Straight back down. Good. It's hard!
It is hard, that's the point.
Well, you said you wanted a peach, you have to work for it. I know!
Ready, up? Squeeze.
I can see that burn, I can see that struggle.
She's really squeezing the glutes exactly how we need to.
Squeeze it.
I've never done anything like this before, this is...
..really bloody hard!
She's doing all right. I don't know why people pay me, to be honest.
I'm going to be a little bit harsher this time. I want 20 reps.
I'm scared! Yeah, good. Let's go.
Come on, two. Again!
Three! Come on! Four, good!
To get my fitness back again would just make me really happy
and more confident. And I can just feel like I can enjoy life.
I feel like Jay's not the kind of personal trainer
that's going to let me give up or take it easy at all.
The leg press is really starting to break a sweat.
That's a good sign, it means she's really pushed herself
and really working hard.
Come on!
Eight, push! All the way to the top.
Handles in.
Lovely, how did that feel? Yeah, it fucking hurt.
Catch your breath.
You're doing well, mate. You're doing well.
I want my mum!
Little bit quicker. Little bit quicker.
Come on, faster, faster, faster!
Go on, quick, quick, quick, keep it going.
We are literally just pelting it, giving it all we've got.
Right, keep going, keep it going!
Raising that heart rate right up, then dropping it back down.
Give me another ten seconds.
Come on, quicker!
Nine, eight, come on!
Right now, Lauren's legs are absolutely on fire.
But we don't even have an option,
we're going to do it until we are done.
It was harder than I thought it would be.
I didn't think I was that unfit,
I did not realise I am in bad shape.
You're one tough cookie!
That's a good thing, though.
Are we looking forward to those goals? Yep.
You know what it takes. Are we going to do it? Yes. Good.
Because if you don't, I'm going to be there.
I'll be kicking your arse in gear.
And don't think I won't. I think you know I will.
I know, I'm scared of you already! Good.
I want you to breathe out when you come back in.
He's starting to establish the difference between good pain
and bad pain. And good pain is what is going to get those results.
Breathe in, breathe out.
Yeah, do you feel the difference?
Yeah, it looks different, even doing it.
That's going to be a killer. Yeah, I know.
It's great, isn't it? Love it!
Eli, well done.
So that is the end of your session today, how you feeling?
Tough. I will be sore tomorrow. Good. But it'll be worth it.
I know it was only one session, but just feeling those muscles lift
up a bit, feeling that burn, how is it making you feel in yourself?
I mean, a lot more confident, for a start.
Because I know that it's the start of this journey.
Think about that shoulder thing we were talking about,
that postural change. Because honestly,
just by the way you carry yourself is going to change this.
This is just the beginning. Yeah. Yeah?
And you're already feeling like this after an hour session in the gym,
so think how you're going to feel in six weeks. Yeah. Yeah.
Looking forward to it? I am. Great.
Just got back from the gym.
Yeah, I had a really good workout, actually.
It's definitely getting easier.
Yeah, I'm definitely feeling a lot more confident.
Probably quicker than taking the lift.
Wow!
Whoo!
I feel a lot slimmer.
Like, I can really notice it here, at the side.
I feel like Jay might actually be proud of me
that I've actually done quite well.
Yeah, I'm just excited. I feel like it's paid off.
Aw! Aw! Bless her!
Little angel, ain't she?
Shall we give her a call? Yeah, let's do it!
DIALLING CHIMES I'm not even in it.
Hey!
So, tell us, how's everything going?
I've almost lost a stone now, like, one pound off. So I'm quite happy.
I'm actually seeing some results.
Thank you!
You know, the walking, the stairs - we've seen your videos,
seen you running up those stairs, I was loving it.
I'm waking up with lots of energy,
whereas before, I was just sluggish all the time.
I'm just getting used to it now.
Hopefully, I can just continue it on. You will.
And it's the hen do, isn't it? You're going on a hen do.
Are we feeling confident that we're going to look good in whatever
you're wearing? I definitely feel a lot more confident.
I can tell in my stomach.
I'm seeing a lot more definition, which is good.
My friends have said,
"You can really tell you've lost weight." That's nice.
How's the booty? How's it developing?
Yeah, it's looking good.
Did you just touch it then?
She did!
Like, "Yeah, yeah!"
Yeah, definitely feeling a lot more firm and a bit more pert.
I want to see those photos of the hen do. Appropriate ones.
Just add that in there.
And we shall speak to you soon, lovely.
Thank you, thank you for your help, Jay. It's been really great.
Bye-bye!
This was the start of his journey.
And actually, him being more comfortable in his skin.
So let's have a look at some of his videos and see what he's been up to.
Grr, I can feel it. I'm like, "Come on!"
Nice. That's so good.
Let's give him a call. Yes!
DIALLING CHIMES
Tune.
Hello there. Hello!
Hi! How's it going? Good, how are you? I'm good.
Have you noticed any appearance differences or anything like that?
So, I've lost a little bit of belly fat, which is really nice.
So I'm pretty happy with that.
My legs are a lot musclier. My arms are a lot musclier.
What about your shoulders?
I'm trying to remember the thing you taught me where,
like, shoulders back and hold your head up.
But a couple of people have actually pointed out that my posture
just looks a little bit better.
Obviously, one of the things that we were really big on was this
being the start of your journey.
How do you feel about the future?
Overall, my transition is such a big journey.
But stepping back into the gym,
that's a little milestone that now I can tick off, and I can say,
"This is what I've got in the meantime," and I can
focus on this and focus on getting the best shape that I can be in for.
So I'm really excited for the future.
This was about you feeling good in your body, whether it's male,
female, whatever it is, it was about you feeling good in your body
and that's exactly what you're telling us. It's nice, you know.
And as you say, it's the beginning of a journey, but it's my journey.
It's not about a trans guy's journey,
it's a journey that anyone could make, really. It's good.
Beautiful, Eli. We're so, so happy for you.
You just seem so comfortable in your skin, and you just
seem like you're ready to take on what's happening out there.
So I'm just honestly so proud of you.
Feel like I'm going to get a bit upset! Aw!
That, honestly, that means so much, though.
Because to see how far I've come, I think, is really good,
and the fact that other people are recognising it,
and you guys are recognising it, is huge.
So I'm really happy with that. Good. Yeah! Well done.
Thank you!
I want to see those shoulders grow!
Big arms. See what I can do. Yeah!
You should be proud of yourself, and Eli should be proud of himself,
because you've both done an incredible job. Yeah, it's amazing.
Well done. Well done. Well done! Yay!