This episode of Europe's Baby Bust, I've come to Budapest.
Like in other countries across Europe,
Hungary's government is desperately battling population decline by trying to promote marriage
and childbirth.
I'm here to meet three women with different outlooks on this procreation drive.
While Hungary's birth rate remains one of the lowest in Europe,
the prime minister Viktor Orbán is determined to disrupt this decline
spending 5% of GDP on programs supporting people who choose to have children.
His government gives the most help to those who have three babies or more
but these efforts come as Hungarians, like the rest of us, are increasingly moving away from
traditional family structures.
So how are these women reckoning with this push to become parents?
As the Hungarian government tells women to focus
on marriage and children, I want to see what other messages they're receiving.
Wanda is the editor-in-chief of SHE, one of the country's most popular websites
among young women,
leading conversation around career, fashion and relationships.
So here's the team, my colleagues.
I'm here to sit in on an editorial meeting to see what messages modern
Hungarians are getting from the media about family life.
Could you show me what's on SHE right now? Today.
'If you choose loser guys don't complain afterwards', great advice.
'What do you want from me if you have a wife?'
'If sex is ugly, don't want to toss it up with a suck mask.'
I'm assuming that's a translation error.
What's this suck mask exactly?
I don't know how to translate it.
... and not with sex toys, much more with the emotions.
OK, OK, got you.
A lot of the articles that you have on she are from the female perspective
and they're about relationships and becoming a mother and marriage and that kind of thing.
How important do you think the concept of family and traditional family is for Hungarian women?
In a country where people are really encouraged by the government and by the media to
have children and get married,
how easy do you imagine it would be to be like,
a 30 year old woman who didn't want any of that?
Orbán introduced more generous packages for couples with children in 2019
and since then there's been an 8% rise in marriage.
But this enhanced focus on traditional family values can leave some people
feeling alienated.
Virág and her boyfriend Daniel both agree they don't want children.
Hey! — Hi, I'm Leah.
Although this decision came easily to them,
their choice is making Hungary an increasingly difficult place to live.
So how did being child free come up for you guys
when you started dating?
You said it first?
Would you Daniel describe yourself as child free by choice as well?
But it's not something you have thought a lot about before like you had?
Do you think that people judge you differently
when they hear about you not wanting children?
For you as a woman and you as a man.
It sounds like, as people who are childfree,
the messaging you're getting is that your decision is the wrong decision.
I went back to Virág and Daniel's to understand how extreme
some of the online opposition they face can get.
How did you feel the first time you got somebody saying like,
'I want you to die just because you don't want children'?
You said it's a 'Hungarian thing', what do you think it is about Hungary
and the society that means people feel so strongly about this issue?
Then, who's the enemy?
Child-free couples like Virág and Daniel fly in the face of what the Hungarian government
is hoping to achieve:
large families with lots of children.
Across town, I'm going to meet a family who could be
a poster child for the government's population drive.
For generations, Vera's family have been surpassing the three-child benchmark
and she's followed in their footsteps.
Your name is also Gellért?
Nice to meet you.
Today, they're all getting together at her parents house
and I meet her at home before we headed off.
So you're 31 now?
Same age as me.
And tell me about your extended family.
Do you feel like, Hungarians are encouraged to have big families?
Vera's siblings and all of their children are gathering to celebrate her mum's birthday.
Over lunch, I got talking to Vera's dad about what he saw
as the dangers of a shrinking population.
Liberals?
Did you always know that you were going to have a big family?
Was that something you knew since you were young?
Is that something that you are conscious of,
this need to increase the population?
How long have you two been married?
Did you always picture a big family?
You guys are are a ...
It's unusual now to have such a kind of big tight family.
Why do you think it's different today?
Whether they want children or not, it's difficult for Hungarians
to ignore the country's parenting drive.
For some, it's an opportunity to create the families they've always wanted
but it can leave others questioning where they fit.
This approach may appear extreme
but the problem is not uniquely Hungarian.
As birth rates across Europe continue to decline,
there's an increased tension between what governments want
and what people choose to do.