I ran into this man at the produce counter
and he asked me to play tennis with him tonight,
but I forgot that Big Daddy's baby brother,
my dearest and nearest relative is flying in at seven.
This is such a dilemma. Whatever am I going to do?
Blanche, it doesn't sound like a dilemma at all.
You know, Rose, you're right.
Family you can see anytime, but a one night stand only happens one night.
[music playing]
All that manliness in one room, one crowded room.
One hot crowded room.
Everybody's steamy bodies all pressed up against eachoth--
Blanche, relax you're about to set off the smoke detector.
Girls, see that man over there staring at me?
He's undressing me with his eyes.
Do you want to move to another table?
Not yet, he's only half done.
I don't have a date yet either.
Blanche Devereaux can't find a date?
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
My only problem is trying to decide which of my many suitors
to flatter with an invitation.
After all, it's the social event of the season.
I guess you'll just have to break a few hundred hearts, Blanche.
I know, I haven't had to disappoint so many men since Daddy tore down
the tree house.
Tell me honestly, Blanche.
Do you have any reason to believe that Lazlo might be interested in you?
Well, just the fact that on numerous occasions
he has referred to me as his greatest artistic inspiration ever.
- Bar none. - Me too.
Me too!
Oh, let's face it girls. We have no idea which one of us
Lazlo wants to use.
Well, I think it's obvious, Dorothy. The man's an artist, he has taste.
He cannot help but pick the woman with the most grace, the most style,
the most femininity...
Where's my heating pad?
How should I know?
This isn't it. I'd like to know what other electrical appliance
you're using under that blanket.
Dorothy, do you think this looks alluring and yet nurse-like?
I don't know, Blanche. Maybe the earrings put it over the top.
Oh no, I did that for the baby. They love shining things.
Listen, maybe you two ought to wait in the kitchen with the kid.
- Oh, I'll get it. - Freeze.
Don't go near that door. Give me that thing.
There you go, my darling.
How do I look?
It's all wrong, Blanche. The baby doesn't match your shoes.
- Hello, ladies! - Oh Harry, thanks so much for coming.
How are you, Frank?
Frank, talk to me, what's going on here?
Well, he isn't feeling very well so we'd thought we'd have you over
for a drink.
Wasn't that story about the heart transplant amazing?
Oh, I wasn't paying attention. I was fantasizing what
Tom Brokaw looks like naked.
I want you to meet my friend, Tommy Crockren.
Sit down, Tommy. Tommy's a writer.
According to the New York Times, he is the most exciting novelist
to come along since Mr. Norman Mailer.
We met in the park last week. I was sitting there,
reading Tommy's latest book and he came over and offered
to autograph it for me.
- We've just been inseparable ever since. - Hey, Cockren!
What are you sitting with the guests for? It's time to serve the main course!
You want me to come back after dessert?
No.
- Do I have to give back the 25 dollars? - Yes.
I don't think that's fair.
Then give me ten and get out of here?
Well, what are ya'll looking at?
Alright, maybe I don't have a date.
Maybe my date took one look at me and said he'd rather die
than be caught in public with me.
And maybe he's right, maybe I do look awful.
But think about this, I still look better than either one of you.
Oh, Blanche, Blanche, this is Dr. Jonathan Newman.
Get out of here!
Dr. Newman is a guest in our home.
If I'm self-conscious, he'll be ill at ease.
I can't allow that to happen.
It would be un-Southern.
That's a good bell.
Get the door.
Shrimp?