Hello. I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember so you don't have to and welcome to another rendition of WTR, aka, "Was That Real?"
*Catchy Theme Music*
This is where we look at TV shows that are forgotten by some, but remembered by others for just how strange they were...
And I apologize if I don't exactly seem like I'm on top of things. I haven't slept in a bit...
...I haven't shaven or anything like that. It's just that uh....
...the character we're gonna talk about today,
I have had a few, uh...
...run-ins with.
*Doug gets bitten in the unmentionables by an unsettlingly cute teddy bear*
*Screams in agony*
Yeah, so when I heard I was gonna talk about his live-action series this week. I just want to take the proper precautions-AIR!!!!
*Shoots at nothing in particular*
Like I said, I'm a little on-edge.
As some of you know "Teddy Ruxpin" was a disturbing he** spawn of a toy that was one step away from
Skynet watching your kid.
It was supposed to be comforting,
But it scared the shizz out of every parent who bought it!
Even Robin Williams made jokes about it!
*Robin Williams doing comedy*
So it only made sense to have this terrifying teddy even MORE alive with a live-action show.
Though to be fair, this is only really a pilot and even then not technically that.
You see they wanted to do a live-action series based on the stories that your robot was reading your kids to bed with.
But, when they shot the first extended episode,
it proved to be too expensive, so they eventually turned it into an animated series and this ran as the ABC movie of the week
because
Wouldn't you want to look at this before going to sleep?
The funny thing about it is that in a strange way, you can see why was so expensive.
I mean, nothing looks realistic per se...
...but it does look like the toys literally started walking giving our therapists countless hours of employment.
One of the reasons is that they get a pretty big name, and effects, to do it.
Lynette Eklund has practical effects credits under her belt, like "Beetle Juice", "Pee-Wee's Playhouse", the "Jurassic Park" sequels.
"Honey, I Blew Up the Baby", and has even commissioned for some impressive cosplay.
So like I said, the props and designs for a kids show, and what was required at least, are pretty impressive.
But that doesn't mean the show is....
...well...good.
It starts off in the Realm of Weird when horrifying Mama Bear is singing a song to Baby Teddy.
I think she's literally holding a Teddy Ruxpin doll.
Mama Bear: Come Truuuuuueeeeeeeee....
Nostalgia Critic as Mama Bear: Did you enjoy your breaded Goldilocks? Mine was too cold.
*Close-Up of Baby Teddy opening his shnoz and slowly closing his eyes*
And in case you're wondering, no, she serves no purpose to the story whatsoever!
We see she has a map and an amulet, but she never does anything with it
and Teddy says no one in his town or family ever goes on adventures.
He doesn't even mention her giving it to him or anything
Teddy: Illiads(?) aren't very adventurous. At least, they haven't been for many generations.
If I had this shizzz the whole time and never utilized it, I'd be pissed!!!!
Yeah, I'll dedicate my life to you you little *******!!!
I could have been treasure hunting and making millions, but instead I'm raising your dead-eyed ***!!!
You'd better live out my dreams, you demonic rabbit's foot!
We cut to 15 years later, where we see Teddy and his caterpillar friend, Grubby
(Clearly, caterpillar milk has a lot of growth hormones), out to find themselves that treasure, mentioned earlier.
Grubby: You didn't tell me that adventure seeking would be this hard on my feet.
Nostalgia Critic: "I don't know, Davey". (What is that a reference to, anyways?)
But they come across other rejected "Mario" world characters who try to eat them up.
*SCREAMING IN FEAR*
Teddy Ruxpin: They're going to catch us!!! Go faster, Grubby!
Grubby: I'm trying! I'm trying!
Nostalgia Critic: Well, they WOULD catch you if they didn't just stop at the camera!
Maybe they saw a salesman selling hands so they can have an activity to do before going to bed.
You'd be pissed off if you were them too!
But they come across an old man who saves them.
This is your generic bumbling and fender who's so traditional you could just call him Gimmick.
"You can call meh Gimmick!"
Nostalgia Critic as Gimmick: These are meh kids, Pawn and Tool!
But it looks like an evil villain, named Tweeg is also looking for the treasure as his plan to turn buttermilk into gold doesn't seem to be working.
Tweeg: I can't actually make gold out of Buttermilk!):
Nostalgia Critic: I can't imagine why not.
He seems to be the villain in all of this, but much like the mother, he seems entirely pointless.
He's always just off to the side saying, "D'oh!", and "Curses!"
Even when the heroes are right in front of him, he doesn't seem to do anything of threat.
Gimmick: He is, without a doubt, the world's worst shot!
*Tweeg sighs a manly sigh of sadness.*
Nostalgia Critic: He's kind of as ineffective as the Grinch, if he shaved and made the voice of Captain Hook.
"I'VE ALWAYS KNOWN HEH WAHNTED TAH STEEL MAH FORMULAHH!!!"
Nostalgia Critic: But the inventor uses an airship to travel to the treasure, while these beaked testicles voice their disgust.
Beaked Spheres: *tsk*I KNEW IT! *tsk* *tsk*
Nostalgia Critic: Well, THAT seemed needed.
They crash into a tree, where a fairy, who I swear sounds like Judy Garland on quaaludes...
Fairy Garland: "And I suppose there's no such thing as a big bag of AIR stuck in my tree?!"
Nostalgia Critic: ...and is it me, or is her knowledge of technological aviation pretty damn advanced?
Garland Fairy: You DO understand the simple basics of Aerodynamics, don't you?
In order for your airship to move in any given direction, you must apply a force in an opposite direction, such as in this large manually driven propeller
then you will have to know something about the effect of wind, and various aspects of navigation.
Nostalgia Critic: Christ, Did you teach at a community college?
I know, it's like she flies so she would already know something about it, but, then again, she flies!!!
Why would you need to know anything about it? Oh, well. Maybe this awkwardly long goodbye scene will make up for it.
Garland Fairy: "BYE!"
*Seven seconds of awkward waving*
*Nostalgia Critic becomes unsettled and confused by Disney-esque music coming from ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE!!!!*
*MORE AWKWARD WAVING!!!!*
*Nostalgia Critic shrugs in annoyed disbelief at what he is watching.*
*Aaaand more awkward waving from the Garland Fairy..*
Nostalgia Critic: Please? The ending to "Return of the King" said "goodbye" faster than this!!!
But they come across Rock Biters. Turds who decide to put Grubby to work, but place the others in the dungeon!
Rock Turd Biter: "Put this one to work, and take the other two to the dungeon!"
Nostalgia Critic: Man, I know that's a prejudice some kind. I just don't know who's supposed to be offended, or why?
They're locked up with a guy named prince Aaron who is looking for his kidnapped sister.
Because NATURALLY, a prince would do so on his own, and have no qualified professionals for the task.
Prince Aaron: "I've been here for a LONG time!"
But they escape, and agree to help Aaron find his sister.
This leads us to a giant purple monster who wants to help.
Purple Barney Ripoff: "Did you say 'a PRINCESS'??? How come she's lost?"
Prince Aaron: "Well actually, she's been kidnapped".
Purple Barney Ripoff: "Why would ANYONE kidnap a princess??? That's bad!!!"
Nostalgia Critic as Purple Barney Ripoff: "I mean, from a storytelling perspective, it seems so tired and cliche!!!"
"Hey, Timon! We're on another 'Royal Forest' bloodline again!!!"
Nostalgia Critic: He advises them to see the wizard, who it turns out, is just a faker using lights and projecting effects,
which leads them to a giant castle, where they dress up like soldiers to save a girl.
*Gee, this sounds like "The Wizard of Oz".
Think we all know who needs to do some proper suing!
You gotta get out more.
I love the fact, by the way, that the wizard lets everybody in, EXCEPT the purple monster!
He doesn't even give a reason!
Wizard: "YOU stay outside. The rest of you, come in".
Why is prejudice so bizarrely okay in this world? It's okay. He actually loves purple monsters
You can tell by this post with him eating purple monster food.
Tweeg also arrives there as, what a coincidence, the treasure is there, too.
Tweeg: "Why does this always have to happen to me????"
"They're landing"... *smiles in a way that would make any child or parent feel uncomfortable*
*Uh...whut the frack was that???*
Nostalgia Critic: Did he just howl like a wolf, or did somebody open a box of "Cookie Crisp"?
They all sneak in to try and rescue the sister.
Gimmick:..."And we've been ordered to take her out of here"...
???????????whatamiwatching???????????
So in the scene...
I still don't really get it, they connect the medallion, saying only the purest spirit may find the treasure of knowledge
This leads to a bunch of treasures being revealed,
But they instead take these crystals that each have a word written on them on them...
Bravery
Teddy Ruxpin: "Friendshiiiiiiiip"
*Insert reference I don't get but Nostalgia Critic does get here*
Teddy Ruxpin: "Let's go!"
Tweeg: "Hey, Alby, where do you suppose they're going? And what are those things that carrying?"
Nostalgia Critic: Those are excellent questions we are REFUSING to answer. Enjoy what we wrote on our lunch break!!!
Of course the treasure disappears for Tweeg, because...
Something about being true to your bull****. I don't know... and they get back safe the brother and sister
Go home, and Grubby does this uncomfortable hand gesture, and we get another overly long
goodbye as they sail to Ronald McDonald Land.
Rest your arm, you WEIRD PEOPLE!!!!!
So, it was...about what you would expect.
It's difficult to be hard on it, as it's clearly meant for little little kids and again, for the budget
they probably had, the puppets are pretty well done, as well as some of the sets...
...but...it is what it is.
A good-meaning, but still creep-inducing show that'll happily haunt your marijuana high for years to come.
But at least now you know it existed.
There was probably a fair amount of work that went into it, and it's...
....moving pictures with sounds. You gotta give it that. It's moving pictures with sounds.
I'm the Nostalgia Critic, and....
*whispers* I'm going to leave very quietly.
*Ominous music builds tension as Nostalgia Critic bolts to safety...*
*"RUN, FORREST, RUN!!!!"*
*Slams Door*
Nostalgia Critic: Huh. How about that? There was no danger. I was building all that up for nothing!
*Snickers*
That's life.
*Are you telling me you built all that up for NOTHING???*
*I FEEL CHEATED!!!*
*I WANT A REFUND, NOSTALGIA CRITIC!!!*
*Oh, wait. This video is free. Never mind. Nostalgia Critic, I do respect you, and the jokes I made in this video were all in fun. Well done on this review!!!*
*I love this theme music...it is so cinematic!!!*
*YES, THEME MUSIC!!! PLAY ON!!!!*
*This channel really IS awesome!!!*
Nostalgia Critic: Coming next week is the review of Wild Wild West...
...Yeehaw...
But you can see it now on your Vessels ad-free early access! just three dollars a month to see tons of people's videos early
...as well as a bunch of other extra features. Check it out, and get the early scoop!
Hey, Doug Walker here, doing the charity shout out this week! We are not doing the round Macdowell House. That's also a good charity...
We are doing Scholarship America. This charity's mission is to mobilize
America through scholarships, and educational support, to make post-secondary success possible for all students.
Their vision is to be the nationally recognized leader in providing private scholarships, and other financial support to make the
completion of education beyond high school a reality for EVERYBODY.
They believe that every student deserves an opportunity to go to college, regardless of their financial status.
In 1958, an optometrist in Fall River, Massachusetts had a simple, but profound idea:
If everyone in his community gave just one dollar to an educational fund, it would be enough to help nearly...
every student in the community attend college since its founding scholarship America has distributed more than THREE BILLION dollars...
to TWO MILLION students across the country through various programs...
...including "Dollars for Scholars", "Dream Keepers", and scholarship management services. Now, in their second HALF-CENTURY of helping students,
they invite YOU to become a part of their mission, by donating or volunteering.
You can see all the great work they do on their website,
or you can hear the stories yourself on their YouTube channel. These are great people that do great things,
and EVERYBODY deserves a great education! Go to their site see the great work that they do, and check them out.