all right haunted duplex part 2 back
with a vengeance
god what a shitty movie poster that
would be I can't wait to see this one
the first one was so good alright let's
recap a little bit from where we left
off for dummies and a dining room
tempting the devil with a Ouija board my
dead great-grandma makes a cameo and
shows up I'm dead some shadow demon
crawls across my ceiling makes me piss
myself and Cody didn't get Taco Bell
that night ah damn it okay cool we got
it so a few weeks go by and nothing
creepy happens so the whole Ouija board
night starts to become practically a
joke to us if anything goes missing in
the house it's the ghosts fault the
ghosts did it where's the toilet paper
go god damn ghost but what would happen
soon after were a number of things that
I like to call the incidents and they
would happen randomly every couple of
weeks incident number one The Hague
incident so I'm laying in bed one night
my ex-girlfriends there too we're
talking about something I don't really
remember what let's just say it was
about her being a selfish how
about that it's like 3:00 in the morning
everything's turned off in the house
Breuer my roommate he's down the hall
sleeping with his door closed he's got
his dog in there sleeping too that's
really what the dog looks like it's
furries hell so we're laying there we're
about to fall asleep when all of a
sudden right next to my head I hear
something say hey and it was very
distinct so distinct that we both heard
it did you just hear somebody say hey
yeah yeah sure did now it's one thing to
hear some by yourself because you
can always play it off like it's
probably just the house settling
maybe it's the pipes in the walls making
noises pipes can make noises that sound
like human words right hey how's it
going what's up but when you're with
somebody else that hears it too what are
you supposed to do that I tell you what
you do that your mind goes totally blank
and there's a brick of in your
pants okay I don't know what that was
all about but let's sleep with the
lights on huh how about that incident
number two Christmas time shenanigans
that's what we're calling it okay
whatever so there I am a few weeks later
and I'm laying in my bed I'm trying to
go to sleep Brewers in his room door
closed he's been sleeping for a probably
couple hours so I'm laying there and all
of a sudden I can hear a noise coming
from the bathroom someone or something
is screwing around with something in
there it's making a noise it sounds like
this
so naturally I try to be logical about
the situation oh my god there's probably
a demon in there rummaging through all
our probably eaten all our tylenol
and squeezing out all the toothpaste I'm
pretty scared at this point because I'm
a big wuss you know instead of going in
there to figure things out I just lay
there and listen those damn noise and it
just keeps going on and on finally I
figure it out it's that goddamn flippy
thingy that you pull up on bathtubs to
make the showerhead come on something's
in there fornicating with that thing in
my bathroom I really don't appreciate it
at this hour and the night and then all
of a sudden it stops alright cool
perfect now I can pretend this never
happened and go back to sleep and that's
when something slams up against my door
talk about being scared
it was poop city in my pants I couldn't
even form words with my mouth hahahahaha
somehow in my panic I grabbed my phone
and I call my roommate you know he's 12
feet down the hallway but I'm gonna call
him on my phone hello oh yeah you get it
right this time good job hello
indeed something just slammed up against
my door I'm freaking out did you hear
something messing around with a thingy
that turns the shower on thingy that
turns the shower on the faucet no no the
other thing
oh the handles no the damn thing that
makes the shower go water pressure Jesus
Christ forget it yeah brewer water
pressure that makes a noise right guess
what time it is sleeping with the lights
on time my favorite I've actually go
back to sleep somehow a few hours later
my roommate wakes up to his dog throwing
up you know that unmistakable shitty
sound dogs make when they're about to
barf all over the place hmm you hear
that from the other room and you're
like oh no barf or Ram a time the
countdowns on he got to shuffle your dog
outside before he pukes all over your
Playstation 2 those dog throws up all
over and he has to clean it up at asset
o'clock in the morning he's in the
kitchen and he's washing his hands now
according to his testimony he says he
heard someone say tele
from somewhere towards the living room
he looks over and he sees this goddamn
black shadow peeking around the
Christmas tree now his first thought is
holy piss there's somebody in the house
get out of here you a little Berber he
was running
living room this is where I wake up I
have no idea what's going on I'm
thinking we're getting raided ah what's
going on
is it the Russians he gets out there
there's nothing there I walk out there
to see what all the hubbub is about dude
I just seen a black shadow from behind
the Christmas tree well well well look
who's seeing shadow people now he's
behind the Christmas tree huh you sure
it wasn't the the Grinch huh
he's stealing all our presents I don't
know bro sounds a lot like the Grinch
yeah it's not funny when it happens to
your ass now is it we're sitting on the
couch like okay well what do we do now
we either a have a severe gas leak in
the house and we're hallucinating or be
we did bring a ghost in the house thanks
to that goddamn Ouija board I'm pretty
sure it was B now after this whole
little fiasco
things only got worse they got to the
point we're like okay yeah this place is
haunted we should probably get the hell
out of this godforsaken duplex before
one of us gets possessed and we end up
doing backwards crab walk down the
stairs like The Exorcist but for the
final chapter in this mini saga you're
gonna have to wait till next week that's
right we're talking haunted duplex part
three now it's personal okay whatever
Bruce dude calm
[Music]