(tapping)
(lounge music)
- It's alright.
(clapping)
- Hey everyone!
- Hi guys.
- It's your girl, Ben.
(laughing)
Wait!
(laughing)
Why!
Hey, everyone!
- Hi, guys.
- It's your girl, Jenn.
- And it's Ben.
(laughing)
Did it!
- It is February, the month of love.
So we are back with our annual couple's Q & A.
- Oh yeah, we do it every year, don't we?
(speaking in foreign language)
There's not much more than that.
It is very hard, but--
- It's pretty impressive.
Did we miss last year?
- I think so.
So, I think we've only done it once.
(laughing)
Our biannual Q & A.
(laughing)
- I grabbed a couple questions on Twitter
so we're just gonna dive right in!
- Thank you for sending your questions.
We got some good ones.
I'm excited!
"We often say that having arguments
with our significant other means a healthy relationship,
but I never had one with my boyfriend in two years.
Is it weird?"
It's normal to have arguments.
- Yeah.
- And I think,
I think you need to ask yourself,
like why don't you guys have arguments?
Is it because you're so solid?
Or because there's like a lack of communication there?
Maybe you're building up something,
there's some resentment or
that you're not really talking about stuff.
I think it's important to talk about it.
Especially in a calm manner.
If you do it in an argument,
everyone's got their walls up, they're not listening.
So, I think that's important
to ask yourself why you guys don't have an argument
because it's kind of weird, like--
- Yeah, especially-- - In a little way.
- Especially in two years, you know?
- Yeah.
- I mean it depends,
like how often do you see your boyfriend?
- Well and like, if you've managed to have like a good
sort of balance and you're kind of,
you're not moving in with each other
the second you meet each other,
then you're less likely to have sort of arguments
and things building up.
But I do think, you know, communication is really important.
It's something we're always trying to improve on.
Regardless, that's great that you guys
aren't arguing that much and,
keep it going. - At all.
- At all.
- At all. (laughing)
- At all.
- "How do you guys maintain individuality after marriage
and relationship?"
I feel like we've always cherished our individuality.
- Absolutely.
- Don't you think? - Yeah
- I feel like we've never been the couple
who were like, we're attached to the hip
and we go everywhere together!
- But we had no choice
because we were living five thousand miles away,
so we-- - That's true.
- Long distance kind of lets you have
your independence still and, I thought like,
when I move here and started getting into video,
I started working with you a lot
and our, like, work, personal relationship,
it was very kind of mixed. Wasn't it?
And I think, for us, having me finding my own path
career-wise you know, still working with Jenn
but working with other the brands
and having my own path has been a massive help to us.
It means we can breathe, it means I can learn more
and bring it to you and we just have a bit of balance,
right?
- I agree.
I also wanna mention that like,
we're both very supportive when you want to have
your boys' nights and I wanna have my girls' nights.
- Very true.
- Because, what I can provide is not
what your boys and the lads can provide.
- But I think that is really important.
And again, I think you see a lot of couples
that struggle to have that balance,
where if you wanna have your girl time
or your guy time, or if you wanna stay out a bit later
or have a couple more drinks and one goes home
and it's great to be able to do that
because otherwise there is resentment that builds
and like, you know, we are our own people.
We have same friends, we also have different friends.
We have a good balance and--
- We do. Like there are night where we all go together
which is fabulous but we also have, like nights
where it's just like, lads night
where you guys play, like soccer, or you know,
hit the clubs at the golfing...
- Range.
- Yes.
And I love it when you go and you know,
you get your girl time and,
those times when you have that bit of separation
and you have the, you come back stronger,
you get, it fills your soul as well.
The amount of times you come back from seeing the girls
and you chat up a storm, we'll be talking for hours.
You come back and you just, your soul feels lifted
and you have that space and that only helps us as well.
"Do you think it's a good or bad idea
to move in together before marriage
after doing it yourselves?"
It's a good question.
- I mean, I think it's a good idea to move in
before marriage if--
- Yeah.
- If possible.
- I agree.
- Because it's almost like a test run before you get married
and if you're not compatible living-wise.
- But that's when you know.
You know even for me and Jenn, you know,
from long distance to then moving in together,
that was a stressful, like, month?
Two months? Kind of, just kind of getting used
to the way we are, the way we live.
The little things that gradually build up
and that is what can make or break a relationship I think.
- I agree.
- Why go to marriage when, until you can kind of get to see
what it's like to really live together?
Cause marriage is living together.
- "What are some living habits you had
to get rid of/pick up in order
to accommodate the other person's living style?"
I think I had to compromise on the fact
that not everything will be left exactly where I left it.
- I learned to be more tidy and clean
and you learned to accept not being quite
as tidy. - As tidy.
Yeah we kinda met in the middle
because I think when I was living alone,
one of the biggest delights was
that I can be super clean and have everything organized.
Or if it was messy, it was my mess.
And I would deal with it later.
But I think living with somebody,
you do have to compromise
because not, it's unrealistic to think
that the house is gonna be immaculate forever.
It kinda prepares you for other things
that may happen where you just don't have control.
You know, when Cheeky first came
and I was like oh my gosh!
She's, mess everywhere. - Little puppy,
just pooing and weeing all over the floor.
And just, like everything.
And again that was a test.
And you know when you're stressed,
you've had a bad day at work or you come in
and dog pooed all over the floor.
Like you're stressed and you know,
your other half's most likely to get the brunt of that.
And that's, it's those times when you know,
you kind of work together.
And I, for me, I know a big thing for you is like
a clean home, that's a big learning curve.
So now everything's spotless.
You come back in the best mood.
And I'm like oh, this is easy.
- I know.
Whoa!
- Cheeky wants to be on camera.
- I know, she's like you called me?
"How does Ben feel that you are more
of the bread-winner for a lack of a better word?"
That is a juicy question.
- That is a juicy question!
Can I get the goss?
(laughing)
More than anything, it's inspirational like
how it'd be very hard for you not to be the breadwinner.
You know, you work so hard
and you know you're in industry that, you know,
it's like, it's good margins and all that.
(laughing)
You can feel a slightly not good enough
or this and that but to me, I kind of,
I use it as inspiration to push me to work harder
and to be more driven and like you've taught me so much
about that work ethic.
And then the day is 2020, you know?
I think the question shouldn't be
"how do I feel about you being the breadwinner?"
It should be, you know, celebrated
that yet another female is crushing it.
And like only inspires me to work hard
and be better, you know?
- That's so nice.
That's so nice.
(laughing)
I think at the end of the day like,
Ben and I are both part of the same team.
Like, the income is going to one place.
And I love the fact that it's been such a gift
seeing you grow and grow as a videographer.
Like to see you direct music videos,
to filming with other creators,
Like it's been day and night.
It's crazy to think that, like,
you went from drumming your entire life
to doing a complete career change.
And crushing it in this space.
And if you've done all this in a span of like,
three years I don't even know what you'll be like
in the next three.
- No, keep going. This is great.
- Yeah!
- Keep talking about me, this is great (laughing)
- No but I think, I almost feel like
it's a common thought that people think
that all your only job is to work with me.
But I think in the past-- - Yeah.
Like two years, we've actually created
some boundaries of us working together
because for a while it was not pretty.
Us working together and living together and being together.
It was-- - It's impossible.
- Yeah.
- Like if any couple says they manage to do all that
and it be completely relaxing and chill,
when you're working together,
you're not professional because of the way you got
that comfort and you've got that, you know,
if you're having a bad day you're fine to tell them that.
And, I think we're both our biggest supporters
and for us it's not necessarily about the numbers
and this and that as long as we're working hard
to be a better person, a better husband or wife
and like work harder and be better than like,
as long as we're on the path, it's all right.
- Growth.
- Growth. That is one of our values as a couple.
Growth.
- Growth. (laughing)
"Do you ever get judgment from other people
or your family about it?"
- It's weird because the last thing you want to do
is make it seem like it's you know,
you can't be like,
it's great, I'm happy for her
cause then it sounds like you're like,
it's great cause I can be a freeloader.
You don't want to be like,
it sucks because I want to be driven.
Cause then it sounds like, you're like
- Yeah.
Like you're sexist, and you don't want to--
- It's a good catch-22.
- It is a catch-22.
- But like, regardless I feel like
I'm in an industry where there's not a lot of people
who can be their breadwinner for me.
- No.
- Like straight up.
It's because this job is abnormal.
- Yeah, and it's like we both work very hard.
We both do long days.
And I think it'd be different,
if you were the breadwinner
and I wasn't putting in the work.
- Yeah. Yeah. Right?
If you were just chilling
and playing video games all day.
But that's like really not the case.
- Yeah.
- And I think because we're both hauling ass
and we're both working, it's--
- And growing.
Growth.
So now we're going to do a bonus round.
From my favorite card game, which is
"We're not really strangers"
I got the expansion pack.
(tongue clicking)
- "What do you think I'm most sensitive to?"
- Aggression.
Right?
- Bad energy.
- Yeah. Aggression/bad energy.
I mean I guess. - Wouldn't most people
be sensitive?
Not a lot of people like someone who's being angry
and aw!
(laughing)
Oh, you're being angry.
- That's true, I love this!
Okay, I guess that's a universal sensitivity.
- Animals or something.
- Oh. Yeah that's true.
- I'm like, I cry when I see like a dead fly these days.
(snickering)
- I know.
"What's brought you the most unexpected joy recently?"
I've been getting into yoga.
- Oh yeah. Your wo-ga.
- Wo-ga.
- Yeah, he works out and does yoga.
- See, wo-ga.
I don't know if it's a thing maybe I made it up,
maybe I'm sure it's already out there.
It's a bit like yoga and a workout and a bit of meditating.
- I know mine.
- What's yours?
- Xanthan gum!
(laughing)
It's a thickening agent!
And it basically, you put it in your smoothie
and it makes it, like, double the size!
"What's something we should celebrate together?"
Oh! Our new communication style.
- Yes.
- You know, I feel like now whenever we have just an issue,
we go to, we go hash it out at couples therapy.
Which I think has been really, really helpful.
Cause there's never really a good time to have like,
the talk
because when you're already in a bad mood
and you have a talk, it's difficult not,
it's difficult for me at least
to not get so, like, angry.
And, when we're having a good time
the last thing I want to do is like,
oh! By the way, lets talk about something really serious.
- If anyone has the luxury to be able to do it,
everyone should have therapy.
- I know.
It's all you're doing is just learning more about yourself,
you're growing and I think for us,
one of the best things is not only is it a place,
a safe place for us to be able to
talk about stuff, but it's also something
where we learn more about each other
and why we are, why we are.
And you know, with some of the analogies like my emotions,
I'm like bread cooking in the oven,
like I take a while to process something.
And you're like popcorn going off with emotions,
I'm angry! I'm hot! What?
You know, and like all these little things we learn from it,
I think really helps us kind of understand
why we are how we are.
And we can kind of better kind of learn
how to approach situations better
because of how the other person is
and that's been massive for us, isn't it?
- It really has because instead of,
like radically changing the other person,
we are radically trying to understand each other.
- Yeah.
And our therapist actually recommended us
to take the Enneagram test together.
And that in itself has been really enlightening
to see what kind of types of people we are.
Like, I'm a type three, so that means I'm an achiever,
so, I am very particular in the way that I see myself.
I want to, like, be the most effective,
productive, and continuously growing.
And Ben is a type nine.
- It's kind of nine and two.
Nine's like someone's that's, I think, quite
patient, a bit indecisive.
And two's kind of like the helper
and like a giver or whatever.
- Yeah.
- I think, but learning about, you know,
how we can best get the best of each other
and I think, you know,
most of anything it's like having that perception,
that knowledge of like realizing
when you're doing something,
when you're procrastinating,
when you're, because I'm a type nine, I can be indecisive.
I'm sitting there trying to pick about something,
I'm like, oh, this is my type nine being indecisive.
Once you can kind of have that, like, acknowledgment,
it helps to understand and then it helps you
kind of grow from there, like,
oh, this is part of my personality.
So, I recommend doing that test.
- Alright guys, that is a wrap for this Q & A.
I hope you guys enjoyed it.
- And if you do have any more questions,
we'll answer it in, was it two February's time?
- Yes. So in 2021.
No, 2022!
(snapping)
We'll have your answers ready by then.
- See you guys then.
- Yes.
Thank you for watching.
- Bye, guys. - Bye.
- Say bye, (speaking in foreign language).
- Bye, (speaking in foreign language).
Cover the lens.
- Bye, guys.
(downtempo piano music)