suffering from heartbreak
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overcoming heartbreak NLP mind hack if
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we've all experienced it and you're
going to experience it again
heartbreak and sometimes we have
heartbreak that doesn't just come from a
lover who leaves us or who betrays us
sometimes the heartbreak comes from life
itself sometimes life breaks your heart
for this video I'm really going to
focus on 'heartbreak coming from an
actual breakup that you have with
someone
however you can use this for pretty much
any type of heartbreak. A lot of times when
we have a feeling especially a very
strong feeling we have a tendency to
think that the feeling is right and the
situation is wrong
so if my feeling is that I'm in love
with this person and they're leaving me
well the feeling is right, them leaving
me is wrong they should not be leaving
me and we get caught in this duality of
right and wrong thinking though
important feelings don't actually give
us a lot of accurate information about
what's going on around us and at the
same time if we ignore feelings if we
push them away
we're going to create a lot of trouble
for ourselves later
so what is one to do first of all accept
the situation whatever it is even if it
doesn't feel good
the fact is that the feeling is the
feeling whatever it is you add suffering
to that feeling when you don't accept
things as they are accepting things as
they are alleviates that suffering so though it
might not feel good that this person is
leaving you
it's not going to feel any better to not
accept it so just accept that that's
what's happening and then see what
happens that feeling. The main problem in
being in love and then losing that it
it's kind of like a hangover
it's going to it's going to feel bad now
it might even feel like it's going to
last forever but it's not you're going
to get over it and what you need to
understand is that just like a hangover
you're experiencing what your experience
is sort of like a physiological response
you got drunk on love and now you're
feeling the after-effects the
after-effects don't feel good because
your body's in sort of this withdrawal
state so it's really important to
understand your own sensory experience
how you're creating this situation
imagine this person when you think this
person who your lover who broke your
heart when you think of this person
what do you see what do you hear now we
know what you feel that's that evaluative
feeling and if you're really really
kinesthetic and maybe you do feel some
sort of tactile or proprioceptive sort of
feeling we're not talking we don't want
to get into the feeling that evaluated
feeling which is the hurt, the suffering the feeling
of being in love and it being unrequited
where in your sensory experience do you
see this person where in your personal
space do you see this person do you see this
person when you think of them as if
they're standing in front of you sitting
in front of you where are they in
relation to you, the left to the right right
in front of you if you're very auditory
do you hear the person's voice you don't
have to be very auditory hear their
voice you might be really getting a
visual sense of them but then also
hearing your voice but auditory people
might tend to lean on the audit the
person's voice more
where are you hearing that what
direction is it coming from
if you're very visual you're probably
seeing the person you might be getting
some auditory which means you probably
get their voices coming from here but
for very auditory people and you might
have a sense of it coming from either
side of you are even behind you
so for you very visual people start to
notice things like do you feel like
they're right here in front of you or do
you feel like you're seeing a picture of
them are you seeing a movie of yourself
with them get clear about what it is that
you're seeing then the same thing for
the auditory if you're get a sense of
where the voice is coming from how loud it is
how resonant it is
if you're not familiar with NLP
this can be a little unusual you might
be wondering what is he talking about
just go along with this your your
thoughts and your feelings actually are
represented by sensory-type experiences
what you see what you here what you feel
sometimes what you smell and sometimes
when you taste and it is happening in
your personal space so just look for
that it's there or listen for its there
chances are when you're really in love
if you're very visual the person is
probably really close to you and there
probably is some movement to it that
makes it very realistic and the person
is probably what you're seeing is a
bright and colorful or enriched colors of
the image is probably bright and has
very rich colors if you're very auditory
you're probably hearing a person's voice
very close to you it may be a little bit
low but it's very easy to hear and it's
probably very resonant so what you want
to do at this point is if you're very
visual push the person back just a
little bit so you can see them better
they put a frame around the person as if
there is a picture frame then make the
picture, if it has any movement, make it
still so now you're seeing a still
picture with a frame around it of your
ex-lover then push it back another 10
feet and then fade the colors maybe even
make it black and white
how do you feel about this person now if
you're very auditory push the voice away
make it lower to like a whisper so you
can hardly hear it now how do you feel
it should have a significant difference
in the way that it feels now they're
also might be a part of you that's
resisting this as you try to make these
changes everything snaps back in place
and this part doesn't want this to
happen this is what we call ecology this
is the resistance
this is a part of you that is saying I don't want
this is completely changes the system
and I'm not ready for this change so
this is a good time to really ask
yourself do you want this change
do you want to get over this heartbreak
if you do get in touch with that part of
you and ask it what is its positive
intent for you now which you're most likely
to come up with is that you don't want
to lose this person you don't want to
lose this love and that is all what you
don't want or this part of that that
part of you you're very clear now about
what that part of you does not want for
you what does it want instead? If it doesn't
want you to lose this person was it want
for you instead and more than likely
it's something along the lines of
wanting love for you wanting you to be
in love. wanting you to be loved
what you need to do is negotiate with
this part of you and assure it that by
moving this person out of your way so
that they're not so intrusive in your
personal experience you can now go and
meet someone else or you can now go and
find that love that you've been looking
for or that you've been wanting and finding
that person who will love you back
so assure that part of you that this
is the way we move forward
this is how we're going to find what
we're looking for and assure that part
of you too that if this person returns
that all these changes that we're
making are completely reversible you can
bring the person back. It's not like you're
getting rid of anything you're just
pushing them away
you're you're you're making the colors
dimmer, you're pushing them away so they're
not so in-your-face now so just assure
that part of you that that's all we're
doing here
more than likely that part of you will
go along with this and reintegrate into
you so now you're not parts anymore
you're whole' now is the time to future
pace imagine what it would be like one
tomorrow just to our what's tomorrow
going to be like now that you've made
these changes in this person's not so in
your in your face in your life and
you know in your ear that this person is
pushed away and a distance now so you're
not feeling this thing so much imagine
what your day is going to be like when
you walk through your day that way. Go out to a month
what is your life going to be like in a
month when this person and your sensory
experience has been moved to the the
background you don't hear them so
prominently you don't see them so much
and you're not feeling those feelings so
much. If you wanted it back you can get it
back anytime but they're at a distance now
how do you walk how you behave how you
talk how you interact with people that's
what you want you want to see that movie
now go out six months from now six
months from now you've completely gotten
over this and this person is just
another memory another person in the
background just like somebody you dated
years ago and there's no more hard feelings
how do you act? How do you behave? How do you talk? Are you
dating? Who are you dating? So think about
yourself in six months from now and just
see a movie of yourself from six months
from now doing all that that's an overly
simplified version of getting over
heartbreak there can be some
troubleshooting that needs to be done
with that there are other pieces you can
add to that but that's the short version
to get over heartbreak really quickly
give it a try
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