I've been having fun with that little land garden you sent.
It's weird, I never would have thought to rake sand,
but seems like every morning I'm just reaching for that rake out of instinct.
Make my neat little rose.
Anyway, really exciting you're getting into this meditation, Steph, honey.
So I got some difficult news, there's been a little hitch with the job up here.
I'm sure it's just temporary but they've put my job on hold.
I'm sure I'll be back on line, eventually, it's not like they can fire me I mean this is a one way trip.
I can't, I can't go home.
fired on Mars
They had a pack of mineral sniffing robotic dogs, a team of bathroom attendants, music director,
a turbocharged sand ski and a salt water pool.
They even paid a guy to sleep, Ted, he got paid to sleep, that's it.
But, apparently, there wasn't a need
for thoughtfully designed t-shirts, buttons and other graphic communications.
One day you are sitting at your desk making beautiful new signage,
and you get a call from some fleece wearing but head on Earth.
He tells you they're reevaluating your role,
that you should hold tight while they figure out the next steps.
So you say "Okay, sure" and sit there with a fake smile plastered across your face.
Waiting, waiting for a call that never comes.
I made sure people around the office knew I was looking for a new gig, but nothing came of it.
One day I went to lunch and just never came back.
That's when I started in on the DVD box sets and the chips. I have to say I didn't miss the office.
When I got lonely, I'd go see Ted in a sleep tank.
I'd look through that little hatch and wonder
what kind of heartbreaking, beautiful dreams were running through that head of his.
When I saw the pictures of my wife moving in with her meditation instructor, I wasn't surprised.
They've taken several trips to New Mexico together,
but I was disappointed and angry.
It was actually her idea for me to go to Mars in the first place, which makes sense now.
I fell into a deep depression and spent entire weeks lying in bed, thinking about every mistake I'd ever made.
One afternoon I got an all company email.
There'd been another gravity accident and Carol from human resources had been decapitated.
Carol was a terrific woman but as you can imagine the first thing that crossed my mind was job opening.
I sent in my resume and soon after I got a call from Brandon.
He said "You're super guy, Jeff, and you're super talented but we decided to go with Ted on this one."
And I said "That's weird, Brandon, Ted's in the sleep tank, he can't do anything much less run HR."
"Actually," said Brandon,"we woke Ted up and he's doing great, in case you were concerned."
So I said "You know f... you, Brandon, I love Ted but I need that job. I've got nothing up here.
I'm addicted to BBQ potato chips and I haven't felt emotion outside of sadness or anger in six months."
And he's just like "Sorry bud, I hear you but Ted's just a better culture fit."
They told me there is a spot for me in the tank.
I thought about it for a few days.
Turns out they weren't asking,
he says "We're not offering you the sleep tank, we're telling you. You're in the sleep tank."
I told them that didn't sound very legal. Plus, I hate enclosed spaces.
And he's like "If you're not going to be a team player, Jeff, and it doesn't seem like you're being one,
then I don't know if there's gonna be a spot for you in the residences, anymore.
That's when I told him where he could put his sleep tank.
Sooner or later, every man comes to a crossroads
settle into comfortable mediocrity or seek greatness entering the wilderness of his own intuition.
Unfortunately, most are too blind to recognize opportunity when it knocks.
Others recognize it, but only after its too late.
And yet for some of us, the lucky few, that wake up call simply cannot be ignored.
We take the exit ramp, ride out for the territory, our sails full with a mix of rocket fuel and Hellfire,
with new roads come new joys, also trials, like unpredictable rock storms,
or carbon monoxide breathing GMO monkeys in the canyon.
But a gem can't be polished without friction.
So a man forges the tools that will sustain him on the road ahead.
Meticulously tending to the garden of his soul and when it finally bears the fruits of his labor,
well, then he will know the satisfaction of being nobody but himself.
The colony of one.