Hi friend, welcome back or welcome to my channel if you’re here for the first time.
Part of creating a beautiful life from the inside out is learning how to move past discouragements
and disappointments and that is what we’re talking about today.
They have slightly different emotions behind them, but they are very commonly occurring
in the same situations.
Please subscribe to my channel if you haven’t already, for more videos like this, follow
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end of the video for a new fan shout out AND an announcement.
Also - EVERYTIME YOU SEE THIS today...
I’d like for you to write down one reason why you’d like to get stronger & breeze
through any discouragement and disappointments.
You could also write each time how you think your life could change as a result.
Basically, by the end of this you’ll create your motivation list, and as you’ll move
along through life --- following through with these tips, that list will help keep you on
track and motivated, and remind you of why you’re doing what you’re doing.
So get ready, let this video play through the end because you won’t want to miss anything,
and let’s get started!
Part of being human, means getting discouraged, facing set backs, at some point or another;
but there are formulas to success, and the people willing to learn those approaches and
put them into practice, will be SUCCESSFUL; They’ll know how to overcome setbacks --- for
the most part - and really minimize the amount of times their lives will be affected by discouragement
or disappointments.
Disappointments GENERALLY occurs when our expectations are bigger than our reality.
This is a whole conversation for another day, but for right now, I encourage you to ask
yourself in that moment when you feel discouraged by something or someone – ask yourself:
“was it realistic of me to want ___X___ to happen or to expect ___Z___ .
Little rational adjustments like this can help lessen the feeling of disappointment.
Now, one of the main reasons for discouragement believe it or not, is not having a clear vision.
It’s... shocking!- How many of us out there go through life influenced by other people’s
lives and opinions.
The lack of direction that’s our own, that’s what we REALLY WANT, leads to stress, anxiety,
confusion of all sorts, self-confidence issues and of course discouragement and disappointments.
When you feel that, try this: asking yourself --- is what you wanted something you REALLY
wanted, at the core of your soul, or did you want it for other reasons – like – reasons
influenced by other people, things you THINK would be good, a competition with somebody
else, etc.
Take a stab at it and just ask yourself that question.
Doing this exercise may help you get more in tune with your inner wants, or – if you
already have a clear vision and know what you want, I recommend moving on the second
part of the exercise which I’ll share...
now.
So the next idea that can help today is an exercise that’s goal focused, because that
is one of the best ways to stimulate our inner success mechanisms.
If you don’t have clear goals you’ll establish those first before moving on to this, but
if you already know precisely what you want and what you want is what you believe IS the
right thing for you and you want it from your core, then you can go straight into this.
SO - Take a blank piece of paper or do this on a white board, and in the middle of it,
write your biggest goal.
From that point on, start writing the big steps you need to take, to get to your goal.
Use an arrow from that goal to each of the big steps, then take all the steps and break
them down into action plans.
What you basically need to do, for that step to happen, and of course that step, will take
you closer to your goal.
This exercise is perfect to distract you from any thoughts of being discouraged or feeling
disappointed, and move those thoughts into a more proactive direction.
Talking about thoughts, this next point is crucial!
It’s arguably one of the most important skills you can master in LIFE and that is
to communicate with yourself in a positive manner.
Unhealthy inner monologues is the first step into the downward spiral and as long as we
do it, we’ll never really move forward.
Though you realize it or not, you’re always communicating with yourself.
Always asking and answering questions.
Now when we’re going through discouragement or disappointment, that communication will
typically be negative by nature.
Having the ability to answer positively even to the most negative questions, is what will
help you succeed in life and overcome any setbacks.
That means not allowing yourself to call yourself names, telling yourself you’re not good
enough, a failure, stupid, etc – no matter what you believe or THINK it’s true, you
can only alter that thought process and the reality of your life, by first not allowing
those words to be said - period.
The moment you realize that you’ve called yourself that be it out loud or subconsciously
– tell yourself (snap fingers) Hello no!
And start following any of the tips from today, which will shift your thinking, and move you
away for that propeller that would chop you off.
Fresh air and sunshine have an amazing effect on the way we feel.
Sometimes when you’re down, simply going outside and taking deep breath will generate
positive emotions.
Go for a walk, a hike, a bike ride, sit outside, let the sunshine touch your skin (which of
course has SPF of at least 30 on it) and read a book or the news, whatever it is just do
it outside.
And ideally, squeeze in a workout.
25 minutes of exercise will elevate the mood and put you back on track.
Tip #6 is to change the NEEDS you have to be happy.
I used to live my life, up until about a few years ago, always thinking things like – once
I’ll achieve this, I’ll be happy.
Once I have THAT I’ll be happy.
And because I was so narrowminded, I would constantly miss my goals.
So I would constantly be disappointed – I’m making light of it now, but I was in a really
bad emotional spot for years, that’s just a very sad way of living life.
So look at the big picture of your life and look for what kind of events need to happen
for you to feel successful and feel happy?
Are those things realistic, are they within your control?
I think in life it’s best to do two things: 1.
And I might get some heat for saying this and I can expand in a future video, but 1.
lower your expectations a little bit.
Don’t hate me for saying it, but nobody owes us anything, and there’s no reason
to be entitled for anything and 2: make your goals and your daily To Do’s as a result
– realistic.
Our goals need to serve our greater good, not discourage us, so live by the NEEDS that
are within your control.
Here are some of mine: I am happy when I learn new things every week.
I feel accomplished when I do my best every single moment and achieve at a minimum, 80%
of my daily tasks.
Your life will change when you do that.
And you know what?
Keep track of your progress.
I’ll talk more about this in the email I’m writing for you this week, but - I’d like
for you to keep track of when you changed a conversation you were having with yourself.
When you simplified your needs for happiness, when you did a workout to feel better or walked
outside.
Whenever you do anything talked about in here, please write it down – write the date and
a very brief description of what happened.
This next tip is also huge when it comes to moving past discouragement and dissapointment
– and that is to not allow your ego to get in the way of your development.
My ego constantly gets in the way like the little bitch that it is so trust me I KNOW
that’s easier said than done.
It takes constant work to keep that rotten voice under control but here’s what!
Ego is the enemy of advancement.
It’s often the cause behind the feelings of disappointment and discouragement.
Refuse to let the pride control your life, and can I tell you a quick story?
I can’t believe I’m actually sharing this – I have no boundaries when it comes to
you all.
So – I work really hard for this channel right?
And it’s really hard to grow organically on YouTube.
There are over 400 hours of content getting uploaded every minute.
Well this girl, that just exploded on instagram because she got SO lucky and republished by
really big accounts on insta....
Because her instagram blew up practically overnight, when she does make a YouTube video
and she advertises that on instagram, her subscriber count explodes, and everybody shares
her content.
Now, I’m not going to lie, that ate at me a little.
Literally.
Every single time I’d see it, questions that started with WHY and thoughts that ended
with UGH were going through my head.
Here I’ve been working 6 days a week to grow this channel for a year and a half and
there SHE is, just about there – in 3 months – I spent so much time dwelling about it,
and with these feelings that would eat at me and when I realized that she’s growing
faster and I’m only slowing down, that’s when I realized that it was my ego that was
starting to take me down the wrong path.
This competition I had created in my mind, as STUPID as it was, it was real to me, but
it was consuming me.
Eating me alive with nothing left behind but the damn check, that I’d have to pay.
So I liberated myself from that unhappiness.
I said FUCK THIS!
I actually went outside, took 20 minutes, sat down on my patio, took some deep breaths,
thought about what MY goals really are, and why --- changed the conversation I had with
myself using some positive affirmations; I’ll share some with you at the end of this video,
and I’ll have more in the email this week, and then – I started doing the blank paper
exercise that I just shared with you.
We are built to be able to control our ego.
And we need to, if we want to succeed because that is the only way your true self, your
magnificent, creative spirit, that’s the only way your beautiful energy can be released
into the world and that re-wiring can be achieved in part through positive and empowering affirmations,
by declaring yourself as someone who is strong and capable.
Thinking and writing all the ideas for this video inspired me to do a future one that
will be ALL about ego and how to keep it tamed, so I’ll make something for you soon about
this.
These are some of the tips time allows for today, more will be emailed to you this week
– if you’d like to see the rest, subscribe for the newsletter on my website.
It’s free and I’m the only one seeing your email, so don’t worry about anything.
If you’ve been watching my snapchats you know about the 2 very exciting things that
happened last week – 1 was the HUGE makeup package I was gifted with and 2 was the whole
Beautycon experience, so I promised you I’ll do a giveaway and if we don’t have our word,
what the hell do we have?
So I’m here to let you know that a huge makeup giveaway will happen.
I’ll be giving away hundreds of dollars in makeup products.
Over the next week I’ll be showing you on Snapchat what will be part of the giveaway
and you can also help select which products you’d like to be included so add me there,
follow me on instagram and subscribe to my YouTube channel.
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so you can actually be notified when a new video comes out.
Today’s video shout out goes out to this beauty: Danial Barbier - my love if you’re
watching this, I’m sorry if I didn’t get the name right, please comment with your spelling
so I’ll know better but – shouout to you beautiful love and thank you so much for your
support of my channel!
I love you so much for watching, may good luck and fortune follow you everywhere you
go, today and everyday I’ll see you in a couple of days in a new video.
BYE!!