Several of our viewers have asked for videos about helping kids with anxiety.
I'm going to address this today in a way that either the kids or the parents or
both could watch.
Mom, dad, if you guys are watching, I'm going to gear this today toward the kids.
So you can have them watch right along or you can just continue to watch to get
some ideas about how you might be able to help your own child with anxiety. Did
you know that your brain is amazing? It does such cool things all the time. Your
brain is in charge of how you think it's in charge, of how you feel it's in charge,
of what you do it's like. Your brain is like the control center for everything.
And it's amazing and awesome and I'm glad that you have a brain.
Sometimes our brain plays tricks on us. Tricks you know like magic tricks but
the kind that fool you into something that's not really real. And one of the
tricks our brain plays on us, is that it tells us we're in danger when we're not.
You know I have to tell you something else that's really cool about your brain
because when your brain thinks you're in danger, it automatically kicks in to take
care of you in a really special way. There's a special part of your brain
that does this different parts of your brain do different things. And the part
of your brain that keeps you safe, if it thinks that there's a threat out there.
Do you know what a threat is? A threat is anything that makes you feel like you're
not safe like a bear for example. What if we're out just walking and taking a
little walk and enjoying the weather and a big old bear comes out from behind the
tree. Wants to rip your face off! How would you feel? Yeah me too. You know how?
Your heart would start beating really fast and hard and your breathing keep it
really shallow rapid and you'd feel funny and you'd feel maybe a little sick.
Yeah. Do you know why? Cuz' your brain loves you. It does. It loves you doesn't
want you to be somebody's lunch and that bear wants to have you for lunch. So your
brain is thinking "no I don't think so not today" so your brain that special
part of your brain shoots chemicals into your bloodstream.
Do you know what chemicals are? It's just stuff that's sitting there in your body
kind of like a powerup. A powerup that when you shoot that power up into your
bloodstream, it makes your heart beat faster and it makes you breathe kind of
funny and it gives you a little surge of energy so that you can do one of two
things you can either fight or get out of there as fast as you can. Fight or
escape. That's what the chemicals do. It's the power up in your body that's why you
feel funny when you get nervous or upset. And you'd be feeling it if that bear
is coming on. Now I said earlier our brain plays tricks on us. And yours does
too. In fact, your brain is gonna play a little trick on you to tell you that
some things are dangerous even if they're fake. Have you ever been watching
the TV or a movie and something kind of scary happens? and you feel your body
doing some of that? oh yeah! Well, are you really in danger? Come on it's a TV show.
Yeah, but that little part of your brain doesn't know that and so it throws those
chemicals into your bloodstream to take care of you even though it's not a real
threat. You're not really in danger are you? Sometimes when our brain is tricking
us into thinking that we're in danger when we're really not we're at school or
we're supposed to do something that our asked us to do. Are we in danger? No Does
that part of our brain know that no and so it tricks us into thinking that we're
in danger and then our body starts to react to either fight you said no I'm
not gonna do that or escape "I'm not going to school" You're not in danger. So
there's some good news. We can trick our brain right back. We're gonna trick our
brain. Okay? There's two things that you can do. This can help you feel less
nervous and upset and anxious and their tricks, here's how it works.
The first one, is breathing. Breathing because, remember your brain is trying to
take care of you and if it thinks you're in danger but you're not, it's still
gonna put those chemicals into your bloodstream that cause you to want to
either fight or run away. Breathing tricks that part of your brain into
thinking "there's no problem" and I said it's a trick but it's actually the truth,
there is no problem. You're not in danger. but we need to trick our brain back into
thinking that. So, here's the way we breathe. Okay you ready? Now do this get
your mom and dad to do it with you just let's let's try this together.
Okay, I want you to, not yet, just a minute. I want you to breathe in through your
nose really deep, okay when I tell you to and hold it just for a few seconds and
then we're gonna breathe out through the mouth nice and slow kind of like you're
blowing out birthday candles just okay slow it down so that it takes a little
longer to breathe out and then we'll do that again. Let's do it three times okay?
Just try this into the nose and hold
your laughing a little bit okay now out through the mouth nice and slow,
blow it all out in through the nose again hold just for a few seconds
okay now out through the mouth nice and slow blow it all out in through the nose
one more time hold and then out through the mouth nice and slow okay now shake
it off a little how's that feel you feel kind of good maybe a little dizzy.
Sometimes people get a little dizzy. That's okay if you were laughing you
probably didn't get it's good of an effect and I know I'm kind of goofy but
notice how that feels. What did we just do? We just tricked your brain. We tricked
your brain into thinking that you're not in danger cuz you actually aren't and
that calms down those chemicals that make you want to fight or run away cuz
right now, you don't feel like you need to fight or run away. Isn't that cool?
Now, I promised you two so I'm gonna give you another trick that you can do one of
the tricks your brain is playing on you, is telling you a lie actually. And the
lie is that you can't handle this. You know when you're feeling nervous about
something, if we were to ask your brain right then what do you think about this
your brain would say "I can't handle this". Well, it's not true. It's a lie. So, we're
gonna trick it right back. Okay? Here's what we're gonna stay instead.
"I can handle this". Will you say that now? when you say it, chin up. Okay? Have a
little confidence squid tries a little if you need to. And just say "I can handle
this." Try it. "I can handle this". How did that feel just
to say it? I know you're probably thinking "what can I handle?"
I think you can handle anything that comes up in your life. And we want to
trick your brain right back into believing that because it's true. And
you're a powerful smart kid who can absolutely handle this. Now, you might not
know how you're going to handle it. That's okay. We don't always know how
right up first. But you got parents who can help. You got
friends and you can keep watching my videos. If that helps. I want you to know
that you can do this and let's trick your brain into believing that truth by
saying "I can handle this." It feels kind of good huh? Thanks for listening you
guys I hope that's helpful parents if you're still listening, I gotta warn you
about a common mistake that parents make when they're trying to help their kids
with anxiety. And that is that they promise them that certain bad things are
not going to happen. If a child is nervous and upset that something might
happen to mom while I'm at school it doesn't help to say "oh honey don't be
ridiculous nothing's going to happen." Because you don't know. What if something
did? I know right about now you're thinking Dr. Paul this video is not
helping anymore stay with me for just a second. You don't know if something's
going to happen. And what if something did, our kids are really good at coming
up with the what-if questions. And kids if you're still watching, you can tell
your parents this is true because your mind thinks "well what if it does happen?"
Because you don't really believe it if somebody tells you that it's not going
to happen. What if it does? That's where we go back
to the second hack. Instead of promising them that bad things won't happen,
reassure them that no matter what happens they can handle it. And we don't
have to do this alone. We've got each other to work on this and support each
other through it you can handle it. If you've shared this with your kids I'm
really open to some feedback about how that's working for them. Comment down
below or send me a message if you haven't connected yet
to the parenting power up, Vicky and I have put a lot of effort into creating
some tools that can help your confidence as a parent you can link to it right
over there or down in the description below
parentingpowerup.com I'll see you tomorrow.