Adulthood comes with many exciting new starts.
Here at How to Adult, we’ve talked a lot about how to start doing things.
But today, we’re going to talk about how to end things.
After a year of growing and learning along with you, How to Adult is coming to an end.
And because saying goodbye is a difficult thing that adults sometimes have to do, we’ve
decided to make our last episode about how to say goodbye.
[♪INTRO]
A big part of many life transitions is saying goodbye to people, whether you’re changing
jobs or graduating or moving to Antarctica to study penguins.
It can be pretty hard to say goodbye, because it feels really final and uncertain.
So we’re going to talk about some tactics you can use when you’re handling a big change.
The easiest way to bid farewell if you’re pretty awkward about goodbyes is, these days,
called ghosting.
In the dating world, it means to just suddenly cut off contact with the person you were seeing.
But ghosting also applies to friendship goodbyes as well.
Ghosting is definitely the way you want to go if you’re looking to avoid any hard conversations
or emotions.
Gross, right?
But really, ghosting isn’t the greatest option if you want to be considerate of other
people’s feelings.
If you’re in a situation where you feel like you are in danger, your safety is always
going to trump someone else’s emotions, and you should never feel bad about ghosting
in those situations.
But if you’re not in danger, we encourage saying goodbye, even if you feel weird about it.
It’s healthy to acknowledge it if the change might be a little sad.
It’s also okay to acknowledge that the change is great and that you’re ready for a new chapter.
Sometimes, one of the best ways to say goodbye to a big group of people is to host a party
before you hit the road.
A going-away party can help keep the mood light, and it can be really fun to see everyone
one last time.
It’s also a time-saver if you’re busy getting ready for your life change and maybe
can’t see every person individually.
The disadvantage to a big party is that sometimes you don’t get to have quality time with
everyone one-on-one.
But it’s up to you!
You can also reach out to friends and schedule get-togethers individually.
When you’re seeing someone for what might be the last time in a long time or ever, there
can be a lot of pressure to make the goodbye a really, like, significant moment.
We can think of some graduation parties that were way more stressful than they needed to
be just because we felt like they had to be *perfect.*
But really, it doesn’t have to be a big deal.
Sometimes you’re saying goodbye to your friends or family in the middle of a hectic
moment, and you just want to get on the road.
It’s okay to admit in that moment that you’re not your best self, and you can’t wait to
talk to them once the move is done and everything is settled.
Saying goodbye doesn’t have to be as permanent these days as it used to be.
Not so long ago, saying goodbye meant that you could maybe send letters or telegraphs
to stay in touch.
Saying goodbye is pretty different these days because we’re always just a cell signal
away from being able to talk to anyone we want.
When you’re saying goodbye, set up ways to stay in touch ahead of time.
Like, you can plan a regular Google Hangout or Skype call, or text each other, or send
silly Snapchats.
Digital communication isn’t a replacement for seeing your friends, but it can really
help you stay connected to each other’s daily lives.
There’s also something to be said for mailing postcards back and forth - it can feel really
meaningful to have a physical object sent by someone you care about.
A friend of mine, after she moved away, would send me a romance novel that she bought at,
like, the used bookstore with, like, an inscription on it.
And, like, it’s basically a postcard…
I like that!
...and I’m not going to read the romance novel, but it’s basically the same price
as a postcard… but the shipping is more.
We’ve had a wonderful time bringing you How to Adult.
I have really enjoyed getting to hang out with you a bunch, and Sam, and Sarah… this
has been really fun.
I’m bummed that it’s kind of ending.
We’ll still get to hang out though!
We still live in the same place.
I still work for DFTBA, so… [laughing]
There’s that.
I’ll still see you fairly regularly, that’s good.
And I had a really good time getting to know you as well, and dressing up in cool costumes.
[laughter] Having strange dance parties with people down here.
Yes.
And holding giant tax forms and ah… dressing up as an X-wing fighter to do the Halloween
episode.
It’s been really great.
That’s good.
We’re saying goodbye for now, but we want you to stay in touch with us!
Probably not by sending us romance novels though...
If you liked How to Adult, check out how to keep up with some of the people who made it.
Even though this channel is ending, learning how to be an adult never ends.
But that’s kind of exciting.
That’s kind of the point.
We wish you luck on your journey through adulthood.
Thanks for being a part of ours.
You have a dot on your glasses.
You have glitter on your face.
Have you ever ghosted anybody?
No, that was way aft—I met Sam eight years ago. [laughter]
Adulthood comes with any new or exciting start—
Because saying goodbye is a difficult thing—thing, d-d-d-adults.
...always just a phonecall away from being able to see in a dark—
See... See in the dark!
[laughter]
I didn't know—that only happens to Rachel.
Saying goodbye is pretty different these days because we're always just a cell—
...Fraggle rock.
And I totally... loved... it. Oh.
[laughter]
I loved it.That's all.