- Not all the glitters is gold.
Some of it tastes nasty.
- Let's talk about that.
(gentle upbeat music)
"Good Mythical Morning."
- I'm a simple man.
I see food, I eat it.
But apparently, some of y'all out there need
to make art projects outta your food.
There's a whole market of edible glitter and gold out there,
and that's what we're gonna be getting into today
with a new take on our classic Lazy Susan game.
- I hate glitter.
It is my arch nemesis.
Saying the word makes me angry,
hearing the word makes me nauseous,
and finding it on my hands, and my face,
and my private parts six days after thinking it's gone
makes me livid!
Which is why it is an official GMM rule.
No glitter on GMM no matter what.
Seriously, it is a rule.
- It was a rule.
- But I missed the meeting when you green lit this idea.
- Hey, you gotta be present at all times, buddy.
If you gotta, if you feel that strongly about a rule,
you've gotta be around.
You gotta be around for the green lighting of the episodes.
- But then I called a meeting that you weren't around for
and I added some stipulations to this episode.
- Is that right?
It's time for,
Violating Link's Glitter Rule: Lazy Susan Edition.
Welcome to the sparkle station.
- My first stipulation was that you had
to become Glitter Boy, which, yeah,
you look as lame as I hoped you would.
- Oh hey, come on, now.
- While I get to be the cooler, more awesome Gold Guy.
- I'm fine being Glitter Boy.
It's kinda nice being Glitter Boy over here with my hat
that's a little bit made for a boy, not a man.
Okay, you know how this goes.
We got a variety of glitter and gold foods.
One nasty and one normal.
We're going to pull a sparkly cracker
in each round at the top of each round.
And yes, sparkly cracker was my nickname in high school.
Whoever gets the longer end will win power
of choice over the Lazy Susan,
and the only way we'll know
if we got the non-nasty dish is by biting into it.
- Biting into it.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- Yeah. You know how this works.
- You'd think that was the part that I wasn't happy about,
but I'm fine with that part.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
All right, let's get to glittering.
But first I would like everyone to say good luck, Link.
- [Crew] Good luck, Link.
- They have to listen to me today
because that was one of my stipulations,
especially when I'm asking 'em to repeat stuff.
(upbeat music)
- Let's see what we got under these.
- Okay.
Oh, it seems to be a grilled cheese over here.
- It looks like a grilled cheese over here.
But I got a gold grilled cheese.
- I got a glittery grilled cheese.
- Well, we've got our sparkly cracker.
Is that what it is called?
- Yeah, I've never done one of these.
- Yeah, I'm excited about this.
- [Link] They were talking about it
as if it was something we should know about.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Like a party cracker?
What do you call it?
- I don't know.
I just know that-
- You pull it and something happens.
- You pull it and one person's gonna get the big end.
- Okay.
- Three, two, one.
- Okay.
I got, oh, and we got some-
(cracker flutters)
- Congratulations.
- Stuffing was supposed to come out.
- Okay, it looks like it is your day, Golden Boy.
What's your name? Mr. Gold?
- Golden Boy. Man. Gold Guy.
- Gold Guy?
- Gold Guy.
Okay.
- There's a little bit on there now.
I won the power of choice,
but the stipulation was I get it no matter what anyway.
- You? You?
Hold on. Okay.
Did you guys just like, listen to this?
- They really wanted to do a glitter episode.
- You guys coulda emailed me.
- Let me see.
Let me get a closer look at this gold.
I mean, why on Earth would I choose
to eat the glitter after just like,
being so adamant about hating on it.
- [Rhett] That's a great question.
- But did they know that?
- I hope so.
- Because I so put so many stipulations in place,
they've produced this against me,
so therefore I'm gonna go against them.
- Reverse. Reverse.
- Because they're going against me by
eating the glitter sandwich.
- Right, by touching the glitter sandwich.
Gold Boy becomes a little bit of Glitter Boy.
Gold Boy gets a little glitter on his fingers
and he's gotta deal with that.
- I'm gonna eat it.
I'm gonna eat it without touching it.
- Oh, how you gonna do that?
- Well, I'm gonna touch it with my mouth,
but the inside of my mouth only.
- Yep. Oh, I'd like to.
- Is that why people eat this glitter crap anyway?
So that they will crap glitter?
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
And then they take pictures.
- No.
- Yeah.
- And you look at 'em?
- No, I don't look at 'em.
(Stevie laughs)
- You're no Glitter Boy.
Why do you think they call me Glitter Boy?
(Rhett chuckles)
You know, that's what I'm gonna do.
- Okay.
You're sure? You're locked in?
- Yep, yep, yep.
- I'm picking up a sandwich
like I've never picked up a sandwich before.
Oh, there's gold on the bottom too.
Get a healthy bite, my friend.
(bread crunches)
Okay.
- Aha! I got y'all!
But-
- That's not good grilled cheese.
- I'm eating glitter.
- Oh, man.
Y'all put some of that daggum Bittrex in there, didn't you?
- [Stevie] Yeah, alongside-
- We need a deal with Bittrex.
- [Stevie] Alongside some Limburger cheese.
- I kinda like the Limburger part.
- If it helps any-
- [Rhett] Golly!
- I'm not happy to be here.
- Yeah, gimme a break, Glitter Boy.
Gold Man, whatever your name is.
- [Link] Wow, your lip is really gold.
- Yes, it is.
- Is my mouth glittery?
Please say no.
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.
You got several pieces of glitter on your lips right now.
How does that make you feel?
You gonna have to shower.
(crew laughs)
(upbeat music)
Okay, let's see what we got now.
- And when you crap the glitter, oh gosh, what is this?
- Well, when you crap the glitter.
- [Link] Just Jell-O, golden Jell-O.
- Well, I mean, first of all-
- When you crap the glitter, does it.
I don't know, then what?
- You look at it.
- I don't think it's really for pictures.
I was joking about that.
I think it's for you.
- Oh.
- I mean, sometimes you should be
looking at your poop anyway 'cause it's a,
it's how you measure heath.
- Yeah. Yeah. I do that.
- So you might as well make that a fun process.
- Do we have another pulley thing?
Even though it doesn't matter?
- No, why do we need one if you get the power
of choice every time?
- Bingo.
So.
- This kind of sucks for Glitter Boy, let me just say.
- I think I thwarted them on the second one.
You know?
They were like, "He's gonna be hating his glitter
and then he's never gonna eat the glitter."
- Right.
- And I just totally surprised them.
And now they're switching it up on me and they're thinking,
"We got him the first round,
so now he thinks we're gonna switch."
So I'm gonna switch on their switch.
- So what are you eating? The gold.
- Yeah. Thank you.
I'm eating the gold.
I mean, if you were choosing, if you had that power,
which you don't and you never will-
- I'm not gonna tell you.
- What would you have chosen?
- I'm not gonna tell you.
- I'm not gonna use this hand at all.
I'm trying to keep this hand glitter free.
- Is that your hand that you wipe with?
- No, this is the hand that I wipe with.
- [Rhett] 'Cause it's gonna get glitter on it.
- I wipe with my right hand.
I'm glad the whole internet knows that now.
- That's nothing to be ashamed of.
- What hand do you wipe with?
- I got a bidet, bro.
- Yeah, but you don't dab?
What hand do you dab with?
- The fan.
The fan, man.
- Oh, you got a fan?
- Bidet and then fan until it's dry.
Then I get up.
I never touch my butthole.
I don't think I ever have.
- Saying butthole only once in the episode
is the stipulation.
Another stipulation.
- Oh, I just used my quota.
- Yeah, you've used your quota.
- Okay.
- Oh man, that is-
- [Rhett] It's dark.
It's dark.
- Okay.
- [Rhett] I think this is just Jell-O.
(Link chokes)
- What is it?
- [Stevie] That's vinegar Jell-O.
- Oh my God.
(Rhett laughs)
I was like, at first I just thought it was Jell-O.
- [Rhett] Yeah, but it doesn't seem like it.
- Oh man.
That is the strangest Jell-O I've ever had.
Oh.
- Looks like the Golden Boy foiled himself.
- All right, y'all got me that time.
Whatever.
(Rhett laughs)
(upbeat music)
Baloney.
(upbeat music)
Get up and dance, man.
That's one of my stipulations.
- I don't?
- When I say baloney.
- But one of my stipulations is I-
- You gotta get up and dance.
- Dance sitting down.
- No, man.
(Rhett laughs)
- I can have stipulations too, man.
- No.
- That list is a 50/50 partnership, man.
- Hey guys, why don't you tell Rhett he needs
to get up and do his baloney dance.
- [Crew] Get up and do the dance!
(upbeat music)
♪ This is my piece of baloney. ♪
(crew cheers)
- [Link] Okay.
- That was my piece of baloney.
I was showing it off.
- Be seated.
Okay.
- Hope you think that was worth it.
- No, it wasn't.
All right.
Oh, we have some sort of beverages.
And you know what?
We were supposed to have one of these last time.
Lucas was delinquent,
even though it doesn't matter.
So now we got two of 'em.
So let's pull one and see who gets the power of choice. Me.
- Well, let's pull both of them.
At the same time.
- You gotta only pull one at a time, I think.
- Well, what if we pull both of 'em
and if I get both of 'em,
you give me back the power of choice.
- I'm too drunk on power
to understand what you're saying.
- Oh gosh.
Okay, well, I got that one.
(crew laughs)
All right.
So now we go over to the second one.
Now we go for the second one.
And if I get the second one,
I get the power of choice.
Right? Right? Right? Right? Right? Right?
Okay. All right.
- No, back to me.
- Come on!
What are the chances?
- Baloney.
(upbeat music)
(crew cheers)
Hey!
- Okay.
- All right, you know what?
I will make an exception.
I'll give you the power of choice,
just because it'll make it a little more fun.
But you gotta only spin with your left hand.
- I was already doing that.
- [Link] Oh.
- So it looks like we've got some stuff
suspended in here.
- But you gotta do it clockwise.
Only clockwise.
- Can I do this with my right hand as I do it?
- I mean, this is a complete glitter suspension.
- [Rhett] Yeah.
- I mean, if anything's gonna make,
that would make you pee glitter, perhaps?
That's not how it works, right?
Your kidney takes the glitter outta your pee, right?
- Yeah, bro.
When you have hot chocolate, do you pee chocolate?
- One time.
That one time, remember?
- Yeah, it kinda all goes in the same place
and then your body does things with it.
- So I gave you the power of choice
and you're giving me the glitter?
- Yes.
- [Link] You might regret that.
- I might.
But I'm looking out for you and your future.
There's so much glitter packed into that.
Listen.
Hey, send me a picture, man.
(Rhett chuckles)
(crew laughs)
Yeah, I mean, I told you a second ago
that I wasn't into pictures,
but that's gonna be a real,
that's gonna be a real glitter heavy poop.
- See, look?
There's glitter on my hand.
It's gonna be there forever.
- Dink it.
- And drink it.
(Link coughs)
(Rhett laughs maniacally)
- Glitter Boy strikes again!
- What is that?
What is that?
Sausage-offings?
- [Stevie] Yeah, it's hot dog water.
- Oh! My God.
With glitter!
Oh man, you have got gold on the edge of-
- It's a little bit of Gold Boy's soul on my lips.
Because I took a bite out of one of his stipulations.
(upbeat music)
Hey, check this out.
It's the second issue of our comic book, "Blood Oath."
This one is called "Rhett & Link Versus Barbara & Jade."
And Jade.
Yes, it's the second edition or issue.
We always forget what you call comic books.
- Second comic book.
- That doesn't stop us from writing 'em.
(Rhett laughs)
- Right.
- Buddy!
- We did write it.
- You gotta join 3rd Degree Quarterly or Annual
by March 31st at mythicalsociety.com in order to get this.
- And you want to do that.
- Man, it's just a hare-brained story.
Look at these, the art.
- Stevie's in it.
Yeah.
- Remember that, Stevie?
Remember when you were in this?
- [Stevie] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Awesome.
- Wearing a suit.
- [Stevie] Yeah.
- Comic book Stevie is always wearing a suit.
All right, for the power of choice.
(cracker rattles)
Oh, I won! Power of choice!
Ha ha, let's see what we got here.
Yes.
It is a gold encrusted lollipop and a glitter pop.
- You know what?
I'm happy with you making the decision on this one.
I'm happy with you doing that.
- Good.
- And you can rotate.
- I'm happy that you're happy.
- You can rotate with either hand, either direction.
- You're so easy to get along with.
- Glitter Boy is easygoing.
That's one thing we all know about Glitter Boy.
- I think that's a load of baloney.
(upbeat music)
(crew cheers)
He hates this.
He hates it.
- Oh.
- More than you know.
- I kind of was getting to-
- He hates it.
- Like a Chris Farley.
- He's trying to make you think he liked it.
- Without all the-
- But I know how much he hates it.
- The heft.
Okay.
- And I also like, crew, I'd like all of you to say,
I'm sorry, Morgan.
Because Morgan, you're with me on this, right?
Don't you hate glitter?
Yeah, this is our rule.
So.
- [Crew] I'm sorry Morgan.
- See? It's not just me.
(crew laughs)
Oh gosh.
Am I gonna go for the glitter pop?
Last time I drank the glitter.
And it was so nasty.
- Mm.
- So now I bet the gold is nasty.
- Yep, 'cause that's what they do.
They go back and forth.
They're back and forth.
- But then they know that I go back and,
that they go back and forth, and I know that they know.
- Right.
- And they know that I know.
- So you gotta switch it up.
- No, if I knew that they know, then I would switch it up.
- Okay.
- But if they know-
- Don't switch it up.
- Then I knew that they know, I wouldn't switch it up.
- That's right.
- So the Gold Man is staying with his gold plan.
- I like the way you think.
(crew laughs)
- Take a big old bite.
- Oh yeah.
- Here we go.
- Okay.
Something's wrong with this.
- Yeah!
- And I'm gonna discover it.
There's an organic material in there.
- This is a great little golden brownie pop.
- It is, it's a pepper.
No, it is an onion.
(Link chuckles)
- [Stevie] No.
- Nope. It is garlic.
(crew laughs)
Oh, it's raw garlic!
- [Stevie] It's raw garlic, and great news, Link.
You win the game!
(crew applauds)
- How do you feel to get such a indecent win?
- [Stevie] Well, I'm sorry.
To clarify, Link told me to say
that he won the game regardless of how the game was played.
- 'Cause we technically tied, right?
- [Stevie] No.
Link won the game!
(crew cheers)
- I didn't tell you to say it
like you were a preschool teacher.
- Yeah.
(Stevie laughs)
- I like that, Stevie.
I especially like that part of it.
Yeah. Yeah.
- Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell, baloney.
(upbeat music)
(crew cheers)
- You know what time it is.
- He hates this.
He hates it.
- Hi, I'm Kevin.
- And I'm Emma.
- And we just got married.
- [Both] And it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
- Gold. Gold chairs.
They're sitting in gold chairs.
I get it.
- Oh yeah.
- I see the tie-in.
- First thing I thought about when I got married.
- Nice work.
- Was definitely this show.
- Click the top link to watch us figure out if glitter
or gold items cost more in "Good Mythical More."
- And to find out where the wheel
of mythicality is gonna land.
Join 3rd Degree Quarterly or Annual by March 31st
to get the second issue of our comic book, "Blood Oath,"
mythicalsociety.com.