Vegan brioche or should I say cotton candy bread. Imagine several edible balls of cotton
layered together like a bad game of tetris. Massaged in sugar and bathed in butter then shaped into
the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. Rich, tender, silky, succulent, light, puffy, any and all the
adjectives you could think of that makes you want to put this in your mouth because it melted there
and in your hand. Take that m&m's. Don't be fooled by this bread that may sound like an
Ed Sheeran love song. This is the bread of all breads. Let me show you how to make it.
(upbeat music playing)
Now I know you may be excited, but it takes some time to build this arc, Noah. This doesn't take
the whole day or overnight but I would guess it would take about the same time it takes to
find something worthy to watch on netflix. Get some water boiling, enough to cover a couple of
potatoes. Peel your washed potatoes and toss them into the water. Pending your generation, you can
cube the potatoes before tossing them in and by the time you're done insta-book-toking it, they
will be done. Otherwise, while those boil, into a small bowl you're going to put a lot of flour
in. So into a large bowl add flour, sugar, couple of teaspoons of salt, check out my golden spoon,
and yeast. Now check out my golden whisk, make a few laps around the bowl to get everyone
together. Similar to how you do when you're trying to get the family together to sing happy birthday.
Put that aside and whip your potatoes in a blender, with a hand mixer, food processor, garbage disposal,
anything that's a machine so you don't need to do this by hand. Get creative. Use your car,
go back and forth on it a few times while hanging out the window yelling ride or die if applicable.
In the bowl of your stand mixer, add softened vegan butter, your roadkill potatoes, and vanilla
extract. Mix until homogeneous with the holy garden spade looking attachment thing, then add water and
do it again. You're going to add your flour in a few parts, starting with about a cup or two. Once
that's combined, add another once you start to get this nickelodeon looking slime thing, remove
the dough from the garden spade, put that back in the shed, and attach your dough hook. Add another
cup of flour or two, then knead using the dough hook until combined and repeat with the rest of
your flour. With all your flour absorbed into this almost edible stress ball, stop the mixer and check
with your fingers if the dough is too sticky or too dry. If too sticky, add a tablespoon of flour
at a time until it's not. If too dry, vice versa with water. Oh and I forgot to add my turmeric
earlier, so here you go. It's just for color so it really doesn't matter, unless you want your
bread to come out looking like Spongebob. I kind of want that. Now for the next 10 minutes you're
just going to knead this on high to develop the gluten. Well with that 10 minutes don't just sit
there and stare at it, play on your phone, or eat a snack. Use some chopsticks and play the drums.
You know what play total war with the machine and make it your. Basically at this point your
dough should be ready. Using a silicone spatula or a dough scraper or anything similar get the dough
out. On top of your surface and shape it into a bowl. Place the dough back into the bowl. Wait
what are you doing? Oh okay. Oil it first smarty pants. And either cover it with a damp towel or
place it in a plastic bag that's still laying in your entry from the last Amazon package for about
60 minutes or until doubled in size. Once doubled in size punch it. Punch it down. Just go after it.
Show it who's boss. Then get it back out onto your surface and roll it back into a ball and
back into the bowl to let it rise again. Prep your baking pans and if you're anything like
me a solid hour should go by because you and ripping parchment paper straight just
never see eye to eye. After the second rise get the dough onto the counter and punch it.
Bop it. Twist it. Okay I'm joking don't do that last part. On a food scale, measure your dough
and whatever that number is split that in half. Cover one half and with the other half
you're going to shape one loaf. I'm going to be silent here so you can focus on the method.
(laughing)
Okay I tried. I just can't, the silence is killing me. Cut your dough into three evenly sized pieces.
Take a piece and fold the corners up to make a teardrop looking shape. Flip the dough over
and press it down to get it as flat as you can. Starting with the left or right side fold
it into the middle and push it down to seal. Now do the same steps with the opposite side
to overlap the dough pieces. With the side closest to you start rolling dough up towards
the other end as tight as possible. Once at the end use your fingertips to squeeze and
seal the log place the log into the pan and repeat with the rest of the dough.
Okay really I'm going to be quiet here. Here's the same exact thing from a different angle.
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All right. Here's what everything should look like when you're done. Uncover your second half and
divide that into six equal pieces. Same as before, you're going to form the dough into small teardrop
shapes. This time you're going to flip the dough over and use your palm to push the dough into the
counter in a circular motion to mold the dough into a spherical shape. Repeat this process with
all six pieces. While staggering each piece into the dough pan as you place them. Here's a visual
to help make sense of what it should look like in the pan. Cover these guys up with your reusable
trash bag and allow it to rise again until the dough has slightly domed over the pan. When these
guys are ready you're going to brush this potion that you see me holding all over the top of the
buns. Made of the rarest of rare maple syrup that you can find in a surplus at your local grocery
store and melted dairy-free butter. This gin and juice is going to help you get that beautiful
color that you see on top of bakery style buns. Now pop these into the oven and if all goes well
you too have now created the infamous cotton candy bread. AKA the most incredible vegan brioche.
(upbeat music playing)
Thanks for watching. Believe in good.
Peace
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