Impact.
What comes to mind when you hear that word?
Is there a visual that you see?
A moment you've experienced yourself?
Is it an emotion?
Does it immediately meet you where you are,
or does it gradually rise and crash into you?
Is it something you did to someone
or that you did to yourself?
Did the impact happen to you?
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When you look up the word impact,
it can be either positive or negative.
The definitions are "the action of one
object coming forcibly into contact with another"
or "have a strong effect on someone or something."
The first impact that I can remember on my life
was in fifth grade.
And I was an only child.
My mom and my dad were these unique pillars that held me up.
My dad was this sturdy oak tree of a man, very rooted
in family, and to me, the best playmate.
My mom, she was like the steady sun.
She's constant and joyful.
She made every day brighter and showed me how to dream.
She believed I could do anything.
These two pillars were like the bumpers to my life.
Any impact that I came into, they guarded me.
They protected me and helped me bounce back.
And I thought nothing could break us until they told me
they were getting a divorce.
My character, perspective on who I
was, who my parents were to me, and what life now
looked like shifted.
This moment was a forceful impact.
Have you ever questioned who you are?
What is your value?
And what's your purpose?
Those questions came to me in fifth grade
as a result of this force.
I didn't learn how I moved through this
until I was 28 years old.
So fast-forward to my late 20s.
I'm living in New York City.
I'm an entrepreneur who did digital marketing
for small businesses and startups.
And one day at a coworking space on 28th and Park Avenue,
a young lady walks up to me and says,
"You have the perfect body type for skeleton."
I'm completely confused, thinking,
Is this an insult or a new way of making
friends I hadn't heard of yet?
I ask her, "What is skeleton?"
She tells me that it's the Winter Olympic sport where
you go face first down the bobsled track at 80
to 90 miles per hour.
She currently was training for the Winter Olympics
in Pyeongchang, South Korea.
She told me that I could attend a combine, which
is a fitness test, to try out.
Now, let me give you some background.
I ran track, played lacrosse, and cheered in high school,
and then I played collegiate lacrosse.
But I had never even recreationally done
a winter sport in my life.
I grew up in Texas.
I'm half Nigerian.
I hardly handle the cold all.
But there was this small voice inside me
that said, "Look it up and go."
So I did.
I currently train for the skeleton,
and it has been one of the most fulfilling
experiences I've ever done.
But as you can imagine, there's a lot
of pain in trying and practicing and competing in this sport.
There is an ice wall that feels like cement.
And when you hit it, because you will hit it,
the only thing between you and that wall
is a thin Spandex suit, which my niece likes
to remind me looks like I'm competing in my cool onesie
pajamas.
And as all athletes know, there is a mental trick
to embracing the hit.
My coach told me when you see yourself coming
into a curve at the wrong angle and you find yourself
in a bad position, to relax, to sink into your sled,
and embrace the hit.
When you try to avoid or steer away from the wall,
you actually drive yourself into it even harder.
And it keeps you on the wall for longer.
But if you embrace the hit, it can redirect you and put you
on a smoother, straighter line and sometimes set you up
for a better result in the end.
He taught me how to use the mistake.
Imagine that for a minute.
When you find yourself in a difficult position
or endure hardship, a loss, a divorce, failure, or a letdown,
you can be redirected to a better outcome
if you choose to listen and embrace the hit.
When I found myself trying to navigate
my parents' divorce, their remarriage,
the four step siblings I gained, I
didn't know I was going and doing
this example of embracing the hit.
I found myself praying more often
when I felt angry or confused.
I turned to my Heavenly Father, and He showed me another way
to give Him the burden and show love to others,
not dwell in pain or steer away from the unfamiliar.
He said, let's use this to learn who I've made you to be.
This impact refined me.
It chiseled me out.
And now I can see the perspective
of what family can look like.
What I didn't tell you is that I'm also adopted.
I have birth parents, adoptive parents, and stepparents.
And with all six lines, I am one of nine siblings.
My family members and I have had to build these relationships.
But when you step back to ask and see
the Lord's hand in your life, He will show you.
Who am I?
I am His daughter, the daughter of Heavenly Father,
who met me where I was and offered me His love,
the same love He has for each of His children.
So why am I here?
We all needed one another, my family members and me.
And I was blessed to be in a position
to have a family grow out of a difficult time
but only because of Him who is aware of each of us
so precisely.
Some hits you see coming.
Some you're blindsided.
And I had an impact this past Christmas
that I never saw coming.
The wake of it was more profound than any I could have imagined.
My husband and I moved to another state
because of the global pandemic.
We were blessed to move closer to family.
When we arrived during Thanksgiving,
we found out that we were pregnant.
It was fantastic news.
And we could not have been more surprised and excited.
We were planning to tell our families over Christmas
and share this positive impact that was growing.
Unfortunately, two days before Christmas,
I began to have cramping and experiencing some bleeding.
And within a few hours, we learned
I was having a miscarriage.
This collision was beyond a forcible wave
that crashes over you.
It felt like I was paddling in the deepest ocean,
and I was slowly drowning.
And during those weeks, I felt the impact
of how much hope can hurt.
It can be exhausting to want something good
and not know why it can't be what you know
or what you thought it should be right now.
But as I learned, listen and embrace the hit.
I found myself on my knees praying,
almost wrestling with Heavenly Father to help me.
And it wasn't till weeks later that a phrase
began to repeat in my mind that "all these things shall
give thee experience."
I gained a measure of empathy for parents and motherhood.
I was taught that His timing is so perfect
that it's unimaginable.
Women began sharing with me their losses and their joys.
I heard experiences of miracles, transformations,
and I found myself loving others, complete strangers,
with such a fondness that I hadn't known.
Something that my coach didn't teach me but that my Savior did
was the more demanding the trial,
the larger your capacity grows in the opposite direction
for joy.
I didn't know that I could be happier
because I had felt such pain, but I
knew it was the darkest I had ever felt.
And I see how He has lifted me and made my burdens
light so that I may live after the manner of happiness.
Patience is merely utilizing the time
to learn what He needs you to know so you can bless others.
The action of embracing is rooted in hope, hope
through progression.
Heavenly Father has been teaching me
through the Holy Ghost why trials are essential.
Jesus Christ suffered all our trials,
heartache, and felt that we have and will
feel in our darkest moments when He made the ultimate atoning
sacrifice for our sins.
Without the darkest moment of my life,
I could not have experienced how sweet the brightest
moments are.
People ask me, like maybe you've been asked,
"How did you get through it?
Or how are you?"
I like to reply with, "I chose to ask to see
the Lord's hand in my life."
He will show you, maybe not in the timing you want,
but I assure you that He is aware of you
and wants you to see His path and His plan.
So listen, and embrace the hit.
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