I know your ex probably gave you a specific reason for the breakup but I'm here to tell
you that attraction was definitely a factor in their decision as well whether or not they'll
actually admit that to you so I'm here to give you what you need to rebuild their attraction
and make them desperate to have you back in their arms hello YouTube I of course am Brad Browning
author of The X Factor guide and breakup coach to over 10 000 clients around the world now if you're
looking for a second chance with your ex you're definitely in the right place so please drop me
a like And subscribe to my channel for more videos like this one now why does attraction play such a
huge part in almost all breakups well the truth is that people will try a lot harder to make a
relationship work with someone that they're attracted to and if they're not attracted to
you then they'll be looking for a reason to break up and that means that if they ended things with
you then there's an extremely good chance that they're no longer attracted to you at least not
as much as they were in the beginning attraction is really it's really the glue that holds things
together in a relationship it Smooths out the rough patches and it gives you a reason to stay
together at the end of the day and to be clear I'm not just talking about physical attraction
here although that is extremely important I'm also talking about emotional and intellectual
attraction and this is why attraction is so complex and easy to lose if you don't Factor
it into your relationships luckily these are all tied in together so if you fix one it'll go a long
way towards fixing the others as well remember if this person was attracted to you before they
can be again but before we talk about how to build attraction we need to talk about why people lose
attraction and there is of course an obvious reason maybe you've lost what it is that makes
you attractive maybe it's just aging or a lack of upkeep that caused your appearance to decline
over time but honestly this isn't that common most people understand that their Partners will change
over time and they'll still be happy with who you've become even if you have a few more crow's
feet or an extra love handle or two more likely it's an emotional attraction issue they've lost
attraction due to a lack of effort you know the longer you're in a relationship the closer you get
to a person the more you get desensitized to their presence you know you effectively stop seeing them
and this is a natural part of any relationship and something that you actively have to fight
against if you want to actually stay happy and fulfilled in that relationship now there are
plenty of ways to do this but the thing to keep in mind is that you need your partner to see you
and not let you Fade Into the background of their life so this means spending focused time together
it means trying new things together so that you can show you know different sides of yourselves
it also means being attentive and loving to them in and out of the bedroom now obviously in your
situation it's probably too late for you to do both of the most of those things since you're
probably already broken up but there are still ways that you can make your ex see you differently
and build that attraction back up so that you can create a situation where they want you back
so number one is to take down your red flags now oftentimes we lose attraction for someone
when their negative attributes start to outweigh their positive attributes now these are your red
flags so right after you've been dumped is a great time to assess the negatives that you bring into
the relationship chances are you received some specific feedback from your ex about
what they did and didn't like about you in the relationship at the very least you're probably
feeling pretty down on yourself so you're well aware of some of your negative characteristics
now don't use this as an excuse for self-pity or self-hatred you know I want you to try to look
at yourself objectively this can be a good time to you know even enlist the help of a trusted
friend or family member to really nail down the specific issues that you can work on and start
to address them so you know maybe you never really commit properly to the people you date maybe you
argue for the sake of arguing maybe your hygiene leaves something to be desired really there are
a million little ways that you may have lost your partner's attraction and if you want them
or really anyone to stick around you need to face these problems and eliminate them now if you're
looking for a sympathetic gear and someone to help you plan your next move consider signing up for my
coaching program at breakupbrad.com coaching I know it can be really difficult to ask for help
but if you can get over that hurdle I know I can help you win back your ex I've helped thousands of
people win their exes back so just know that I've seen it all and I know that there's almost always
hope again go to breakupbrad.com coaching for more info and to sign up today now the second thing you
need to do is change things up see remember that you you need to make your ex see you really see
you if you want them to feel attraction towards you and the best way to do that is to make a
change I mean I know that getting a post-breakup haircut or hitting the gym or going back to school
these are all cliches but they honestly can all be really effective if you want to win your ex back
because they show that you're capable of change so find something that you're not happy with about
yourself or about your life and change it you know this can be as small as you know getting
a piercing or as large as losing a hundred pounds whatever you choose to do make sure it's something
that will be big and obvious and make you feel more confident and the next time your ex sees you
again they're going to be surprised and wonder what else has changed about you subconsciously
this is going to make them curious and that's going to quickly lead to more attraction number
three is to take time apart now if you've seen any of my past videos you've probably heard me
preach the no contact method this of course is the process of spending 30 days cut off from
your ex as soon as possible after the breakup not only does this allow you both the time to to
process the breakup but it also actively rebuilds attraction now this seems counterintuitive but
it's actually pretty simple the closer you are to somebody the harder it can be to feel attraction
to them remember that feeling you know you're just you're just blending into the wallpaper this is
because attraction requires distance you need that separation to feel that attraction because
if you've already come together you're already attached to one another so think of it this
way the Moon and the Earth are attracted to one another by gravity now if the moon crashed into
the Earth what would happen to that attraction it would be gone because the two have become one and
the fact is that you need space to create and maintain attraction you can't ever become you
know fully become one in a relationship and trying too hard to make this happen is just a recipe for
lost attraction and that's why you need to build space into your relationship if you want it to
last and it's also why the no contact method is such a powerful facilitator of attraction
between two people who've broken up now if you want more information about no contact check
the links in the description of this video or just check out my channel for more videos on no contact
number four is to improve yourself now this is actually another pillar of the no contact method
you need to improve yourself if you want your ex back not only is tangible Improvement going
to lead to Greater attraction but the confidence boost that you get from achieving your goals are
going to be the real attraction booster and this means that even if your ex has no idea
how you've improved your life they'll be able to feel it the next time that you see them in person
being dumped has honestly probably damaged your confidence and your self-image and the only way to
rebuild that is through hard work and discipline obviously you're going to have more time on your
hands now that you can either squander in sadness and unhealthy coping coping mechanisms or you can
use that time to change your life for the better so set a goal for yourself you know ideally you
want this to be something that's achievable in a short period of time maybe 30 days if you want
it to line up with the end of your period of no contact but it can also be something more
long-term the important thing is to get started in a positive direction people who are driven know
what they want and they know how to get it and that can be extremely attractive to just about
anyone including your ex and number 5 is to date other people now I know if you recently broke up
and you want your ex back you probably have no intention of dating anyone else right now but I
would like you to seriously consider it it can actually be a very effective way of rebuilding
your ex's attraction for you this of course is because it makes them worry about losing you
yes jealousy can Inspire attraction almost like nothing else and on top of that there's also the
sense of perspective that it brings you know I think if you're watching this video it means
you're pretty focused on winning back your ex right now and while of course I think that's
great and I wish you all the best this mindset can easily lead to Obsession and Desperation which is
not attractive to anyone so you can easily get so focused on your goal that you lose all sense
of perspective and start to reach out to your ex too much laugh a little too hard at their
jokes push a little bit too hard to spend time together and pretty soon you've scared them off
so think about putting yourself out there you know ask your friends to set you up or download
a dating app to meet up with someone as soon as you can and try to just enjoy yourself and have
fun with these people even if you don't intend on spending the rest of your life with them
and when all of this is is over and you've won your rack your ex you're going to be glad that
you had a few new experiences in the meantime all right guys that just about does it for this video
um if you've ever won somebody back who's lost attraction for you in the past I'd love to hear
your story in the comments below and don't forget to ask your questions as well thanks so much for
watching please subscribe please like this video and I'll see you in the next one bye for now