- Hey, everybody!
Happy Thursday.
Now, today's question is all
about defining the term, process.
I use that a lot when I talk about therapy.
So let's get into that.
But before I do, if you're new to my channel, welcome!
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of our community, and make sure you're subscribed,
and have those notifications turned on,
because I put out videos on Mondays and Thursdays,
and you don't want to miss out.
Now, today's question is:
Hey Kati, Give me the definition of process.
For new viewers, and for those of us who are new to therapy,
what do therapists, counselors, psychiatrists,
et cetera, mean by the word, process?
Please do a video on this!
I know you've talked about processing the hurt,
but what does that entail exactly?
What would we do in therapy with our therapist
to process whatever it is we want to process?
I love this question.
And I think it's great that we get in the habit
of defining terms that we use, so that we make sure
everybody understands what we're really talking about.
And I know, I use the term process a lot.
So the term, process itself, is defined as
a series of actions or steps taken in order
to achieve a particular end.
Just think of like, milk.
Milk is something that is processed, right,
we use that term, into other forms.
Could be turned into butter, or even better,
it could be turned into cheese.
But by processing things, what that means is
we're taking steps or actions in order to change something.
And when it comes to therapy, we know that
we manage things best, meaning, we can process
and deal with things in our life best,
when we put them into narrative form.
Just like I talked about in the past,
with Alexa, I don't know if you remember,
but we talked about how children
will recount their days to their parents in their own story.
And they do this as a way of processing through
all that happened that day.
It helps us sort through all that we have been through,
and it helps us start building a story
of our life, and who we really are.
And this also allows us to more easily recall
the story that we tell ourselves about it,
like, what happened that day,
and file it away in our memory.
And if any of you remember, I've talked about
Inside Out, and how they have those marbles.
And I love the fact that they use those marbles,
because if we have a trauma, it's like
we take that marble, and we throw it
on the floor, and it splinters everywhere.
But by putting something in narrative form,
is the equivalent of us picking up all those
splinters and all that, all those little
tidbits and things that might have flown
into a whole 'nother memory, noticing it belongs
to this one, putting it back into that marble,
and rolling it away into our long term memory.
Does that make sense?
We're kinda puttin' all the information
together, and filing it away.
And that process that I'm talking about,
of picking up all those pieces, putting them together,
and rolling them away into our memory,
or if you like to consider it like,
files of paper, putting in a file folder,
and filing it away, whatever works for you,
but that process is the process
I'm talking about in therapy.
It's when we take the time to think about our life,
and things that have happened, and turn it
into a narrative form or story that we're
comfortable with, and that is truthful.
When things are too much to talk through,
in the moment, or they're too emotionally charged for us,
they can disrupt the story that we want to tell ourselves.
Like, if we did something that's not really us,
like it doesn't feel like something we would normally do,
or if something bad happened, that we feel
shouldn't be happening to us, then we don't
feel that the situation fits into the narrative
or story that we want to tell, and therefore,
in order to process through these situations
that don't fit into our story that's already happening,
we have to find a way to integrate them,
and help them better make sense, because trauma
and intense upsets are often lost in confusion.
So by taking the time to put it into a story,
in chronological order, it can
clarify all that we've been through.
And so processing things is essentially that.
And it can also mean that we take a look
at past events, and talk those through.
And the reason for doing this is because
we have an entirely different perspective now.
We are older, hopefully wiser, and may even
feel more empowered than we did back then.
For example, let's think of our parents.
Let's say they got divorced when we were young.
We may believe that that was all our fault,
because we weren't good enough, smart enough,
we didn't take, you know, the trash out
all those times your dad asked, or your mom
had asked you to do the dishes and you refused.
But as an adult, we can be able to look back,
and see that relationships don't always work out,
and it had much more to do with how our parents
communicated or didn't with one another.
And the fact that they maybe just weren't in love anymore.
And so you can see how having a different perspective
can help us better understand a situation.
And that's why it's nice as an adult
to get back into therapy, to be able to talk through
all the stuff that happened when we were a child,
because we've come a long way.
And lastly, by simply talking through
any past hurts or traumas, we are in essence,
very sneakily, I might add, doing some exposure therapy.
You remember exposure therapy.
I've talked about it in a video, but if you don't,
I'll link it in the description.
But by talking these things out,
being validated on how we felt,
and realizing that nothing bad's gonna happen
if we do say some of the things out loud,
we are in essence, disproving any of the
falsely held beliefs we may have had.
Obviously, you can see that the term process
can mean many things, depending on the issue,
but overall, the goal of quote, unquote, processing
through something, is to get you to the point
where you can talk about what happened,
whether it be a trauma or not, and not have
any overwhelming emotional response to it.
So if talking about an issue used to make me
clam up, dissociate, or cry uncontrollably,
after it's been processed through,
I won't have any of those experiences.
I'll be able to talk about it without
having any emotional response.
Thus, by processing through our past hurts,
upsets, and any confusions we might have,
we can lessen the amount of shame,
embarrassment, and fear that we can feel.
I hope that kind of clears up what the term process means.
We're taking actions to change something,
and in therapy, that means that
we're changing our narrative.
We're re-learning the story, clearing up any confusion,
taking away any extreme emotional charge,
so that we feel more in control,
and more understanding of what's gone on in our life.
This video has been brought to you by Kinions on Patreon.
If you would like to support the creation
of these mental health videos, click the link
in the description, and check it out.
And as always, if you have a different
way that you define the term process,
or you've done something in therapy
that's really sped that up, let us know
in the comments, because we're working together,
with your experience, and my expertise
towards a healthy mind and a healthy body.
And I will see you next time.
Bye.