And I'm sure this video, we're going to see lots of comments on Youtube,
leave a comment for your feedback, I'd love to see.
I interrupted Tom, Tom interrupted me, we're swearing,
all these things we're to get this whole time. And we just get to take it in. Okay, is this
feedback that is useful for us and can we improve or do we just need to say thank you and let it go?
And that has been a practice that I think is a skill now,
that I feel like is a superpower.
Sports was the greatest teacher for me growing up because every day I got to be in the arena,
I got to practice something that I want to accomplish.
I got to improve on a skillset. Whether it be in basketball and it
was at dribbling, some skill I wanted to learn or a shooting drill
or rebounding, there was always a skill that I needed to improve upon.
In sports, you never master really anything. You can be great at something, but there's always
another level in sports to be better. Even the best basketball players,
they miss a lot of their shots, it's like you can always
improve somewhere, some skillset. So for me, the application of seeing
my own goals and seeing my own dreams and then taking daily actions to
improve upon those and make those goals come to reality.
It was the full-circle moments that I created consistently.
Here's the dream, 15 years later, it happened, seven years later, it happened,
five years, 20 years, it was like, seeing it come to fruition was a big,
it gave me the confidence, those results gave me the confidence.
And then, when I started coaching other people, seven, eight years ago
in the business world, in the online marketing world, or just like their life goals,
I just started seeing it and be like "okay, I see myself in you."
"I see these problems that I had, what was struggling for me,
and if you just eliminate this limiting belief, if you take this action, if you do this thing,
you should be there in six months, not six years."
And then they would do it. And I think you asked me the question,
like what's the skill that's secret? And I think that is also one of them.
The ability to have a clear vision and see the steps.
And the ability to have a beginner's mind and find and surround myself by great coaches.
And be unapologetic in asking for feedback. Feedback has been a huge indicator of my success.
I will ask friends, "hey what do you think is the one thing that you notice from afar
that you think I could be doing better?" "What's the thing you think
if I didn't do that everything would improve? What's the thing I'm lacking? What's the thing..."
I ask everyone. Give me feedback.
How do you deal with the emotional sting though of bad feedback?
I have learned through the process. I wasn't good at feedback until eight years ago.
Cause I was living with a wound of abuse, of triggers, of anger, of frustration.
And I went through a workshop that literally for days,
had us, I kid you not, hours and hours and days,
had us sit there and take feedback from everyone in the room
about how we showed up in that workshop. And the mirror that we are for that person,
there were just like as exercises, whether it was true or not,
you just had to sit there and look strangers in the eye where they tell you,
"you look this, you're this, you're this..." and just be like huh and notice how it makes you feel.
And literally, this exercise over and over for days,
got me to realise that just because someone is giving you
feedback, it doesn't mean it's true about you. So don't take it personally. And see where is the
truth in there and how can you apply it. I was unable to take feedback
until eight years ago. Unable. I couldn't do it. I was like "don't tell
me what to do, don't try to change me, screw you, I'm better than you at this, you don't know what
you're talking about..." it was like a very active
"let me fight... you're trying to tell me where I'm wrong?! Well, here's where you're wrong!
Here's where you suck! You need to improve this." It was very aggressive.
And now, I think everything's a practice. It's like okay, at first I didn't like it and now,
oh, I got this one little piece of feedback
and started applying it and look how it improved my life.
So I can see the meaning of feedback and the value of it.
You know, we get feedback every minute on Youtube or on Instagram.
It's like we get comments on the daily, you and I, every minute.
Some things are really nice and some things are really nasty.
And I'm sure this video, we're going to see lots of comments on Youtube,
leave a comment for your feedback, I'd love to see.
I interrupted Tom, Tom interrupted me, we're swearing,
all these things we're to get this whole time. And we just get to take it in. Okay, is this
feedback that is useful for us and can we improve or do we just need to say thank you and let it go?
And that has been a practice that I think is a skill now,
that I feel like is a superpower. Cause I am not above anyone.
I will take feedback from any human being. Give me a five-year-old kid,
give me some feedback. You're observing something about me? I'll listen.