Everyone's got a favorite "As Seen On TV" product.
With goodies like the Snuggie, Shake Weight, and even Magic Mesh, there's no shortage of
weird crap for Americans to buy to solve problems we never knew we had.
But for each home run, there's a horrible strikeout that should've never been created,
let alone be advertised on the airwaves.
We've seen some weird As Seen On TV products before, but you're going to need a whole lot
of OxiClean to purify your memories of these horrible inventions.
Bowl Brite
Do you have trouble distinguishing whether your toilet seat is up or down?
And do you wish your nighttime trips to the toilet could be accompanied by a ghostly green
or red glowing light?
Consider this your lucky day, because Bowl Brite has a solution for both problems.
Simply install the batteries and LEDs on your toilet lid and start enjoying a Christmas-themed
evacuation of your bowels and bladder!
Red means the seat's up, green means it's down, and if you actually spent money on this,
it means you're a lunatic.
Dump Meals
From the maker of Dump Cakes now comes Dump Meals, because if there's one word in the
vast expanses of the English language that denotes a delicious delicacy, it's the word
"dump."
Dump Meals sound so appetizing, it's a wonder that more restaurants don't feature them.
Well, maybe it's a copyright issue.
They might have to come up with a closely related knockoff like Splatter Platters or
Painted Bowls.
The possibilities are endless, really.
Sauna Pants
Any professional trainer worth listening to will tell you that the key to achieving fitness
goals is a humid crotch.
Calories consumed versus calories burned?
Forget all that, because with Sauna Pants, you can strap what is essentially an electric
heating blanket to your groin and just watch the pounds melt away—and possibly your chances
of ever having children.
But do you even know how hard it is to make it to the gym when you have kids?
Neck Magic Air Cushion
If someone told you they were gonna strap a device around your neck and use a pump to
slowly increase the pressure and pull your head away from your shoulders, you'd probably
wonder why your stalker was being so detailed and upfront about his plans.
But you can rest easy if he's strapping the Neck Magic Air Cushion around your throat.
Because if he stops just short of blocking your airway, you'll experience soothing muscle
relaxation and even headache relief!
Trust us on this one.
There aren't many commercials floating around of the Neck Magic Air Cushion, but we found
one of what is essentially the same product with an even better name: DR-HO's Neck Comforter.
My Secret Hair Enhancer
There's really no secret here.
This is spray paint for your bald spots.
Nothing more, nothing less.
It's an aerosol can full of hair-colored paint, that you can use to coat the bare spots of
your scalp in between clumps of your thinning hair.
Spray paint's for graffiti and patio furniture, not human heads.
Don't use the My Secret Hair Enhancer unless you're prepared for everyone to know your
secret right away…That you spray paint your bald head.
Let this commercial for My Secret Hair Enhancer's predecessor from the '90s, GLH: Great Looking
Hair, say it all:
"But the babes are back!"
Potty Putter
Like Bowl Brite, Potty Putter attempts to tackle yet another one of the many issues
that failed inventors feel need to be addressed: spending too much time on the toilet.
We always thought number two was a fairly simple transaction, but apparently some people
feel that straddling the porcelain throne is just too much wasted time.
Now, you can practice your golf putt while you poop, which will hopefully improve your
skills.
And if your toilet overflows and messes up your bathroom putting green, no problem!
Just consider it a water hazard.
Or dump kitty litter on the mess, and you can practice getting out of a sand trap!
Better yet, if you need more practice, go ahead and drag a toilet out onto the actual
golf course.
The country club will have no problem with that.
UroClub
Okay, somebody needs to explain what the deal is with golfers and going to the bathroom.
The UroClub is, sadly, exactly what it sounds like: a hollow golf club that you pee into
while a green towel discreetly covers your private parts.
It's a classy way to relieve yourself on the course that allows for minimal interruption
of gameplay.
Besides, how are you supposed to make awkward eye contact with your buddies if you're way
off behind a tree or a bush?
That just wouldn't do at all.
Just a fair warning: this is an easy way to make your golf caddy get P.O.'ed.
Poo Trap
Everyone knows how challenging it is to bend down and pick up a doggie doo-doo.
In an attempt to alleviate this brutal task, here's a complicated harness system that you
can attach to an excited, wiggling dog as he practically drags his owner out the door—all
to hang a bag from the dog's butt, which the owner still has to bend down and pick up.
So either wait to buy this product until Poo Trap version 2.0 possibly improves the design
with a pulley system or, you know, just bend down and pick up your dog's crap.
EZ Butter
It always stinks to try to cut into butter and encounter all of the problems that arise.
Bent knives, broken fingers, uneven chunks, and divorce are just a few, so thankfully
there's a contraption that takes care of all of that.
EZ Butter slices your butter into perfect portions every time, and even shoots them
out with a fun click—it even works on margarine!
It's like a staple gun for the kitchen, only dumber and completely useless in every possible
way.
Brush Buddies One Direction Singing Toothbrush
Because dental hygiene should always come with an earworm capable of inspiring suicide,
there's now a toothbrush that can play One Direction music with the push of a button.
On top of being highly entertaining while removing plaque, this product offers the added
bonus of infuriating everyone else whenever you brush your teeth.
Just think of the minutes of fun you'll have fighting gingivitis while your wife scowls
and silently considers smothering you with a pillow tonight.
And the children won't be left out either as they'll undoubtedly be googling how to
legally emancipate themselves from you.
It's fun for the whole family!
Thanks for watching!
Subscribe to our YouTube channel to watch more videos like the one you just saw.
And leave us a comment to let us know what dumb products we should put on our next list...