(indistinct chatter)
Champagne?
Oh, I'm fine, thank you.
These are for me.
Are-are you all right?
No, I'm very nervous.
That's interesting.
Normally, I'm the one who's unsure of himself
in a social situation,
but tonight, it's you.
(chuckles) Yeah. Frickin' fascinating.
Dr. Sturgis, good to see you.
Dr. Linkletter.
Please meet my girlfriend,
Connie Tucker.
Nice to meet you, Dr. Tucker.
I'm not a doctor.
But I would like to point out,
she's quite real.
I can see that. And our relationship
is more
than just friends. That's enough.
In fact,
it's flat-out erotic.
Change the subject, John.
You got it, girlfriend.
Dr. Linkletter
is working on an intriguing theory
of quantum gravity.
Is that so? He can explain it
much better than I can.
Are you familiar at all
with string theory?
Remind me.
Well, basically, it's a string theoretic interpretation
of the graviton.
Every force is an exchange of particles.
Gravity is the exchange of gravitons.
Meemaw, are you even listening?
MEEMAW: What?
The graviton is a massless string.
Wow!
Well, yes, it is.
(chuckles) When did
you learn that?
I get around.
In fact, I would go so far as to say
that every force is an exchange of particles,
and gravity is an exchange of gravitons.
Correct!
Yes! (laughs)
John, where have you been hiding her?
I haven't.
I've talked about her quite a bit,
but you all said she was a figment of my imagination.
(chuckles)
(chuckles) She's dynamite.
(Linkletter and Sturgis laugh)
Hello. I'd like to speak to Arthur Jeffries.
He plays Professor Proton.
But you probably know that,
since you answer the phone at the station
that makes the show, you lucky duck.
Then I'd like to leave him another message.
Please tell him Sheldon Cooper called again
and that I've successfully obtained
the radioactive material that I'm looking for.
Yes, americium-241.
I have lots of it.
I live at 5501 Grant Avenue,
Medford, Texas.
If you're sending me an autographed picture,
I already have one.
Ooh, how about one of his bow ties?
And then Bryan Larkin read the letter
out loud in the hall. No.
Georgie used the word "love," like, 30 times.
It was pathetic.
That hurts to hear.
Really? I think it's hilarious.
Also, my math teacher's pregnant.
Well, that's nice.
(quietly): It might not be her husband's.
Whose do you think it is?
Hey.
Going somewhere? Alaska.
Gonna work on the pipeline.
Alaska, huh?
That-That's pretty far.
Not far enough, but it'll have to do.
Look, Georgie,
I know it feels bad right now, but...
I promise it'll get better.
How's it gonna get better?
Veronica thinks I'm a jerk,
and everyone in the school's calling me Lovey Cooper.
Ooh, that is not a good name.
It doesn't matter, 'cause I'm never going back to that school.
Listen to me. Hey.
You're a good-looking kid,
and you got a big heart.
Once we get you on a daily shower schedule,
the girls are gonna be lining up.
I don't want girls.
I want Veronica.
Yeah, maybe you'll get her and maybe you won't.
But someday, you'll find the woman
who was really meant for you.
You mean like Kathryn Dempsey?
Alaska's beautiful.
How 'bout I go with you?
Who's Kathryn Dempsey?
I was 15 years--
I was 15 years old!