thirty what does that age mean for a lot
of people it means a great deal
turning thirty is a huge deal for so
many people in the world for some others
it means absolutely nothing it's another
birthday it's just another time after
life and they move into that period and
do whatever they want the same as always
for me turning thirty is a big deal
growing up I remember being a kid always
seeing people who are 30 years old
seeing my brothers and sisters turned 30
was such a huge thing
it's like oh my god when is when someone
turned 30 that was it
they had like their life figured out and
they just worked until they were dead I
can't believe that I'm actually that age
now I I don't know where the years of
God it really is that boomer thing of be
like God where did the time go
I'm suddenly gonna have to wear my
glasses all the time and my back's gonna
hurt and I'm I'm gonna laugh at Facebook
memes but I want to turn it into a
positive thing I've been really excited
about turning 30 ever since I hit like
26 I don't know this this coming time of
life this huge milestone for me it's
like it's like turning 10 is one of the
big milestones because it's all double
digits and then you turn 18 and then
you're legal to do a lot of stuff
especially here and then 21 is a big one
and then 30 is the next one and then
after that it's like what 50 so it's a
really big turning point in your life
and I want to turn it into a positive
thing I've been very excited about
turning 30 because that's when everyone
kept saying that that's when you have
stuff figured out that's when you're
gonna know who you are and you're gonna
sail forward and your 30s are gonna be
the best years of your life and when I
was about 25 26 27 I was like how the
[ __ ] is that gonna happen
27 and 2017 was such a horrible year for
me you can go back he can watch the
video I talked about being the worst
year of my life and it was awful and I
really wanted to make 28 and 29 2018 a
better year and I really did and then
2019 came and I feel like I kind of
stumbled a little bit through that again
I feel like how I set the bar so high
for 2018 and I
I put out so much energy that it was
just kind of hard to live up to that and
it was hard to keep that going that 2019
I kind of stumbled and wobbled a little
bit I didn't fall over completely and my
voice cracked so I went you're 30 that
doesn't go away so I didn't fall over
completely and even if I did I would
have picked myself back up and just ran
the race again anyway but I felt like I
stumbled a little bit in some of the
things that I wanted to do some of the
mentalities that I was bringing forward
but all that time working towards the
age of 30 I really felt like I was
getting to know myself better and not
not even like trying super hard not even
sitting down and being like okay Who am
I or self-reflecting all that often I
just really felt like I was getting
comfortable in my own skin I gotten to a
point where all the all the trivial
stuff all the petty stuff all the stuff
that kind of bogged me down in my 20s
all just felt so not so much meaningless
but it felt like so much wasted energy
like all this stuff about waking up and
worrying about the day and worrying
about all this tiny little things that
were happening and I got God can I get
this done and um what does this person
think of me all this [ __ ] just seems to
just melt away the older I got and now
that I'm 30 it's like man I've wasted so
many mental calories burning through all
of these thoughts over the years that
really just don't know where so when I
want to take my 30s and put a stamp on
it I want to turn it into something
technically it's just another year it's
just another time of my life and
technically it's just another fly around
the Sun but I want to I want to do stuff
I want to change stuff I want to like
really work hard I kind of mentioned
some of this stuff at the end of 2019
and it being the end of the decade and
now that I'm here at 30 going into the
next decade of my life I really just
want to lean into that for the last year
I found myself just being kind of
agitated at things and pissed off about
things and kind of just worrying about
all this [ __ ] and comparing myself to
people and cuz 2019 was like the year
that I really went down to like one
video a day on the channel and that had
such a knock-on effect on so many
aspects of the channel that I mean I'm
not gonna get into all of that now it's
just a lot of like analytics and blah
blah blah but let's just say it was one
of the worst performing years on the
channel and that's literally only
because I have the content on it and
that was fine I was happy doing that
because I really needed time away from
like the Topal upload schedule and all
of that just bombarding me and in the
middle of all that it was kind of
getting to me and it was kind of
agitating me and little things here and
there we're just kind of pissed me off
and then recording videos was just like
I get through the motions and just get
it done and every video had to be
something amazing and all of that time I
just kind of lost the fun in what I was
doing I lost sight of why I was doing
what I was doing and now that I'm here
I've kind of been doing double uploads
again and really been getting back into
the swing of things and I've really been
enjoying what I've been recording and
not putting so much pressure on
everything and just recording for the
sake of it just enjoying what I'm doing
cuz it's fun
YouTube is fun it's [ __ ] awesome
making videos every day and just plowing
through games and having as much fun
with them as I can every now and then
I'll play some stinkers night it's like
I'm sorry I can't [ __ ] polish a pile
of shite boy I will always try and find
something good about them at least to
try and enjoy them as much as I can and
I was always really good at that but the
last like year year and a half I've read
like a lot of little things kind of
build up and kind of pissed me off and
what I said that I want to go into my
thirties happier than ever I want to
just make the most out of things and
remember how fun this [ __ ] is I mean we
go back to the gym and just trying to
get back in shape and just enjoy my life
I have such a cool job I have so much
freedom in what I do I have so many
ideas and creativity that I want to let
out of me and so many ideas that I want
to get done this year but I'm like why
not why am I getting bogged down by all
this stuff that really doesn't do
anything it's it's all this talk and
chatter in my head that really is not
helping that I just want to kind of wade
through that like sift through all the
top all the thoughts and figure out okay
what's important and then work with that
basically what I'm saying is that I want
to try even harder on my channel to just
really go for it and really
have fun I said that whenever I had the
energy I would like do two videos a day
again cuz I missed doing it genuinely
and I would always say that if it really
got to me again I would just take time
off and not let it burn me out and
lately it's just been super fun to
record videos and I've been doing two
videos a day for like two weeks now
maybe three weeks and it's just been
awesome I've really just kind of been
leaning into all the fun aspects of what
I do again and I love it it's it's
marvelous it's wonderful
and my 30th birthday has been super fun
I had a great day with Evelyn and we had
super chill day we went to watch birds
of prey in the cinema which is a [ __ ]
awesome movie and I would highly
recommend to go watching we had dinner
I was completely bombarded with love and
support from you guys online on my
birthday and it was incredibly sweet
thank you so much for your continued
love and support over the years it
really truly does mean the absolute
world to me it's it's so nice to know
that people are there for you just
watching you for you and having fun and
going along with you and through all the
ups and downs and anxieties and
tribulations all that kind of stuff you
guys are just here to hang out and have
fun and be real with me and I kind of
tweet it out about this as well thanking
everybody for just being so nice and all
the birthday wishes but I also fought it
up with a thanks to all my friends cuz I
had this weird moment where well I guess
it's not weird it's lovely
at this moment where I just kind of like
sat at the end of the day and it was
about to not be my birthday anymore and
I just kind of sat and i looked at
twitter and i looked at all the people
who were saying nice things and all the
friends who had messaged me and even i
even had like ryan reynolds leave a
comment on my Instagram post wishing me
a happy birthday and like just stuff
like that it all just kind of hit me at
once how [ __ ] great everything is how
wonderful things can really be and I
just got overcome with emotion and just
kind of like sat here overjoyed and I'm
gonna [ __ ] cry if I talk anymore but
I'm just I'm really happy and I want to
make these the best 10 years of my life
the last I'm very incredibly proud with
what I've accomplished in 30
is already and most of that has come in
the last seven so I want to really make
the next 10 years something to really be
proud of of myself and while I really
love you guys and I'm bringing you all
on this journey with me
sometimes it's nice again 30 I feel like
and being an older individual is a great
time to just kind of figure out what you
want in life and I think the earlier you
figure out who you are and what you want
out of life it's not gonna be the same
time for everybody and if you still have
no idea who you are by 45 that's
completely fine
there's no rush there's no like set
pattern for everybody but if you can
figure out who you are and what you want
to do then you really just have to go
for it and I know that you guys will all
be alongside me anyway but sometimes I
need to be like okay shush I'm gonna do
this thing it's gonna be [ __ ] weird
but trust me on this I need you guys to
have my back and going into these next
10 years there's probably gonna be a lot
of that but hopefully it's really cool
stuff that we can all do together but
every now and then I'm gonna have to put
you in your place
cuz every now and then somebody all be a
bunch of [ __ ] but 90% of the time
it's all wonderful and a really great
time but the dad pants are going on all
right the boomers here facebook memes
are actually [ __ ] funny have you guys
seen minions shit's hilarious I've never
seen minions anyway I don't know what
the [ __ ] this vlog is I don't know if
any of this is even making sense err I'm
just repeating myself or whatnot but I
have a lot of energy I've a lot of
positivity and I'm just gonna bring that
forward PMA everybody I'm gonna I'm
gonna go back to that for for 2018 that
was our mantra and I really [ __ ] I
really championed that for the whole
year and then 2019 people kept yelling
PMA at each other for every sort of
issue I was like oh I don't like this
thing's like that's a perfect PMA of you
which is that's not a very PMA thing to
do and it just kind of lost its meaning
it just became this [ __ ] term that
people kept yelling at each other but
this year personally I'm really gonna
champion that mantra again because it it
was really something that I stuck by for
2018 and it really
it sounds dumb and it sounds silly to
just kind of go buy something like that
every day but it really helped and I'm
just going to get back into that again
and I'm gonna enjoy the things that I
enjoy and [ __ ] naysayers and all that
kind of garbage just have fun let's
let's go into the next ten years and
let's go into this year and the channel
again and let's just find what made it
nice find that nice warm cozy place
where we all got together and we all had
fun anyway I'm gonna leave this here I
hope you guys have a wonderful day and I
don't know how to end this video maybe
I'll just sit here and read war and
peace to you well
Prince Genoa and Lucca are now no more
than private estates of the Bonaparte
family no I warn you that if you do not
tell me we are at war if you again allow
yourself to palliate all the infamies
and atrocity
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
ha
love you guys