Do we have any single mothers in?
None. Good.
They're at home where they belong.
[whistling]
No single mothers? None?
-Anyone considering it? Oh, one. -[woman] Whoo!
Just one single mom, then?
You're just gonna lead her out, see...
"We'll see how this goes for her, and then..."
No, you're fine. Okay. What's your name?
[woman] Michelle and Dawn.
-Michelle... -[Michelle] And Dawn.
-And Don. -[Michelle] Yes.
Seems less single than before.
She hasn't realized she doesn't have to say his name anymore.
Its just... You can just be Michelle.
Don's gone.
So, there are two single mothers, you've arrived together,
one of you is Dawn and one of you is Michelle?
-[Michelle] Yes. -Okay, and you are speaking for the group?
You see how organized a single mother has to be?
She's like, "Dawn, you be quiet. As ever, I'm the spokeswoman.
You saw what happened when you tried to get us those free drinks earlier.
Let me deal with it, Dawn."
Dawn, are you in an abusive friendship?
Welcome, Michelle and Dawn.
May I ask, how long has each of you been a single mother for?
[Michelle] Oh, wow. 2009.
2009?
Same! Um...
Both-- Both of you together decided in 2009, "This is gonna be our year"?
And you were just coincidentally friends? Or this was an organized...
-departure? -[Dawn] Our kids are friends.
Your children are friends. See, that's the thing.
That's why Jane's on my dick all the time.
Okay, your children are friends, and you're friends,
and you're both single mothers,
out on the town, enjoying a night of comedy.
Welcome. Um, are you dating, are you feeling it out,
or just concentrating on your lives?
-[Michelle] Yes. -Yes.
You just don't want to be outed on Netflix.
[chuckles] You'll be like, "I'm on Tinder right now."
Okay, may I ask you, do you enjoy being single mothers?
-[Michelle] Yes. -[Dawn] Yes.
You both do. Straightaway. No one ever says no. They're like, "Yep."
Do you feel that there's stigma attached to being a single mom?
-[Michelle] Definitely. -Yeah, why?
Why are these Janes like "Just get back in a relationship."
"No!"
Okay. Um, this is the thing, ladies.
I feel, if you are unsure about your choices
ask yourself, "Would I be more celebrated
if I were doing this as a man?"
And if I were a man, if you were men,
we wouldn't be, "Single, oh, no."
We'd be eligible as fuck.
You can sit down, ladies.
-Thank you so much. Um... -[cheering and applause]
Thank you.
I just bought a house in central London.
They would have made me the Bachelor two years ago.
Like, "Oh, my God, how does he do it?
How does a young, young,
young, young,
young, young, young, young baby boy of a man...
How does he raise a gorgeous young daughter without financial help
from anywhere?"
And there'd be memes of me just vacuuming with no shirt on.
No one knows why, just...
[moaning]
"How does he do it?"
"I don't know. I just push it back and forth. Uhh..."
There would be YouTube videos going viral.
Have you seen these? 40 million views.
"Oh! Incredible dad
learns to braid his own child's hair!
How does he do it?" [laughs]
And I'd be very smug.
I'd be like, "Well, if you think my hands are full
you should see my heart.
Uhhnngh!"
I would say, "I take three equal sections of hair.
And then, heroically, I fold one into the other two, and so on."
Like any idiot could do.
And women all over the globe would lose their shit.
They'd be like, "Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Michelle, Dawn, get over here! Have you heard about...
this incredible single dad?
Where is he? Is anyone sucking him off right now, here?
Can I go next?" [simpers]
They'd form a very long line, and then I would remove the mask
and be like, "Ha ha. I am a lady."
And those same women would be like, "Ew, gross.
Another single mom.
She should have worked harder to keep her family together."
♪ He left because I asked him to ♪
[cheering and applause]
[whistling]
♪ I asked him more than once La-la-la, la-la-la ♪
[laughs]