(laughs)
Kia ora tatou, my name is Marg Slater and I have a son Jack who is 18.
I'm Mandy and I'm mother to six-year-old Maia.
I'm Kat and I'm mum to four year old Ella.
Hey I'm Sonia and I am mum to eight year old twin girls Thandie and Inez.
Education...
Honestly I don't want to send her, I want to keep her home and be a pre-schooler forever.
Jack has lived a mainstream life there was no need to
consider any other schools whatsoever.
He talked, he heard, he ate, he went to school,
there was no need to consider anything else.
It's just a shame really that mainstream school is not supported
to deal with a lot of kids with extra needs.
That's where the system kind of falls down.
As a parent when you got a new person starting school,
which is scary and tearful in the best of times,
being told by the school that your child is never going to pick up a pencil,
they're never going to write he's, got really serious learning issues here,
you apply to get this ORS funding from the Ministry of Education,
you're writing down things you would never think you would say about your child
and they turn it down because they're not bad enough.
You imagine what that feels like.
Nezzie started not wanting to go to school,
and then she started not -
I would get her to school and she would run after me,
and then they started having to lock the gates
because she would run screaming out of the gate.
No one seemed to know what to do, she wasn't coping.
As the turning five draws near and we're talking with services about what
school will look like and we've got school visits,
honestly I don't want to send her,
I want to keep her home and her be a preschooler forever
because it's a huge new space where I worry most about her self-esteem
and how she's going to play
and engage with others with whatever that is that she can do
because you can't change the culture of the school and I don't know how to prepare
Ella to be in that culture.
When it came to deciding which school to go to, it just had a really nice,
welcoming attitude to children like Maia.
My initial meeting with the principal she was very proactive with the children
and she just made me feel like Maia was really welcome there.
School took a long time and it took us to get to crisis point,
as it often has to sadly,
for real action to be taken, but it has them so much work on both of our parts to
create an environment for Nezzie that is quite different from what the other
kids in her class have and just a willingness
from the school to allow her to be different.
I haven't been looking I've been feeling, so it's going into a
school and getting the feeling that there's warmth coming from the people that are there
and they're not afraid of the fact that she has a disability or
I'm a parent coming and asking what they can offer a child with special needs
and that they don't fear that or doubt that and that their eyes light up at the
possibility of having her.
If other parents are going in and wanting to know what to ask and what to look for
trusting that vibe and building a space because they're actually a part
of that as well so it's it's not just what the school offers
but it's about the relationship that you can build with them and
it actually just goes back to what I learnt in NICU.
When we were in NICU, the nurses and doctors and specialists
all kind of ran circles around us and it was chaos really
with all these people offering to help or doing things and it was like
well what's my job as her parent? What can I do? What can you do to build a
relationship with a school where school is like home for her so she feels safe there,
that she feels that she can explore and be curious and make mistakes.
We didn't unfortunately get referred to child development services prior to
school and if there's any other information I could share with any parents is
you've got to get on to those services and it's my understanding
you can actually contact the Ministry of Education directly
you don't need to be referred.
It was just, it was just so, so hard
and I did think this isn't the place for her
but, but... when you make those changes
it can be, you know?
And I'm so proud of our school for getting there.
When you're looking at when your child is starting school
and you're aware that there is some difficulties,
fight.
You have to be your child's advocate, be that person,
I am that woman, you know, and at times I'm proud of it
and at times I just wish it wasn't like that.
It doesn't need to be this hard.
When we were looking for the school for Maia,
I did a lot for asking around, you can't go wrong
if you've got parents of children at that school saying it's great and
inclusive and supportive, then that's the best recommendation you can have.