(crackles)
(mouse clicks)
(man laughs)
- Okay, do your best impression of me.
- Oh!
(laughs)
Let's hear it, come on.
- Okay.
What's up guys, I'm Deon.
I'm 21 I'm from Arkansas.
- Where am I from? - Ark.
- Where am I from?
Arkansas, Arkansas.
You know whatever, like you know the vibes like.
Shit, like.
(laughs)
Like I'm just out here like,
I mean I can't do like the full voice.
- Bitch.
(laughs)
Oh my god.
Wait, wait, wait.
I don't even know how to begin it.
(laughs)
What's up guys?
It's Alexander, you already know the vibes, like.
We're here
(laughs)
We're here in SoHo, you know what I'm sayin'?
We're here with Fashion Meets Forward and
- Moves - Moves Forward!
Meets Forward!
(laughs)
- [Alexander] What are you hesitant to tell me and why?
(sighs)
I'm in love with you.
No, I'm just kidding, all right.
(laughs)
- I mean I love you,
but you're not in love.
Don't do that on camera.
(laughs)
- Ah!
Okay, no.
No but really, I think something that you may not know
is that at times,
I want you to succeed more than think I want it for myself.
Like I see so much potential in you and I push you so hard,
I'm on your ass so much because I care .
It's not like I'm just like dragging you,
or I'm not just like.
It's never with ill intent, anything that I say.
So,
yeah.
I think just understanding and hearing and knowing that
I, like, I'm in in your corner, fighting for you,
wanting you to win, wanting you to succeed,
breaking down every boundary, reaching your goals.
And I'm gonna be right there with you
to do all those things.
You know?
So, that was like what I wanted to get into that.
(laughs)
- What have you learned from me that has changed you?
- I think something I've learned from you is that
how you view yourself is the only thing that matters.
And I think that
when anything you have internalized,
you don't let that affect how you view yourself
or how you act upon other things,
just brings out the best in you.
Because I'm somebody who,
for the littlest, tiniest inconvenience happens,
I'm like "Oh no!
"Like, what the fuck?
"Like, What I am I gonna do now, like?"
I break down.
I physically can't do anything.
And I'm calling people
like fuck. - But you've gotten also
a lot better a that too.
- Mm. - No, you have,
you really have.
You've gotten a lot better with that.
- I would like to think so.
I would like to think so.
- You have.
- And that's exactly what,
that's literally what we're talking about right now.
It's like how you view yourself
can really put into perspective
the things that you do after that.
And I think that you're really good,
even if you might harvest not the greatest thoughts
of yourself or the energy you keep is not one
that you're putting out into the world is not great,
you're still very good at being able to keep it positive.
And I feel like that's - Preach it.
Come on, preach.
- I'm just - You better preach!
- I'm just saying' like - You better preach
to people on Sunday.
(laughs)
Period.
- I'm just saying' that that's something
that I admire you for so deeply.
- Thank you.
- That you can do that.
- Okay.
(laughs)
What's your question?
God.
- When do you worry about me the most?
Why then?
- Ah, yikes, I don't know.
(sighs)
This is a question.
I think I worry about you most when you
hit very low points.
- Fuck.
- I think it scares me so much because
I've experience depression as of lot us,
as a lot of people have.
And I think I see the signs
of what it can do to somebody.
And,
your lows to me make me feel like I'm in lows.
I know. - Oh man.
- Not but truly like because I feel as connected as we are,
if you're going through it then I'm going through it.
There are times when you hit lows that fear,
like I fear for you.
Because I can't read you
as well at those times.
And that's when I have to go into survival mode essentially.
And I have to like turn on everything that I know
to make sure that Alex is okay.
And,
I fear that sometimes what I'm doing is not enough,
and I fear that like,
I have a fear of like letting you down,
if that makes sense.
In the situation of
needing a support system or needing somebody
and I want to make sure that I am that person
at all times.
So,
yeah that's probably, that's probably it.
- I'd completely agree with you because when I hit my lows,
and I know this from myself,
and it's just something that I try to work on, that's when
like the barriers go up - Yep.
- I might be in the darkest place ever.
And you're not gonna know. - Yeah.
- And that point,
when you're in your darkest or I'm in my darkest,
that's when it's most hurtful to be not communicative.
- Yeah.
- And I'm not.
That is when I'm not.
And I think you have a right to fear at that point.
I feel like there's just like, there's an instinct.
- It's very strange because, like you said,
sometimes it's not always on the outside
but I think that in moments when I'm not feeling my best,
like in most instances when I'm not feeling like,
like you said, when my thoughts aren't as kind to me
and when I'm feeling really, really low,
it's very coincidental that you will always text me.
Whenever I'm going through that.
Rather you know it or not,
no matter what you're sending,
no matter what meme you're sending me,
no matter what text or song or anything.
It's almost always in a sense or like in the timing
that I am not okay.
And you just always end up following it,
like it's just, it's so coincidental
it's actually kinda scary.
- But like - I'm not.
- It's so weird!
Like you'll either call me or you'll like, you'll text me.
Like while I'm in this dark place.
And rather you know it or not,
like it's helped me
like it's, it's done a lot for me.
- I got you bitch.
- It's done a lot for me, thank you.
- I got you.
(laughs)
- So my question. - Yeah.
- Oh god.
If this was our last conversation,
what's something you'd never want me to forget.
- For you, something I wouldn't want you
to forget about you.
Is
your sense of self
and how
not even how good you know yourself,
but how
your ability to connect with other people,
whether it be in person, online,
through a phone call, like any sort of communication aspect,
is something I think people will never
be able to forget about you.
- Oh, god.
- The way that,
I mean I've said it already so I'm gonna try
and say it in a different way.
Something I wouldn't want you to forget about you,
is how you can take me out of this funk that I'm feeling,
or make me,
we can do some dumb shit one day
where I'm feeling like absolute shit,
and I would forget about the entire thing
just because I'm physically there with you.
You carry this energy with you in your pocket
that's just so heavy and so positive,
and just a light,
it's the light at the end of the tunnel is what is is.
It's just so,
the reason I'm at a loss for words is 'cause I've never,
it's physically something that I can't explain.
It's like, you know, there's people who are like,
like I said,
fake nice, want the best for you, but like,
I want you to know that you're the kind person.
You're what people want to have in their lives.
(laughs)
- Still!
(laughs)
- Like,
you came at the time I think I needed you most.
I think you came at a time for me,
where I was just starting to have things happen to me
that I was like damn like,
that really fucking happened to me?
Like, fuck.
And you came at that point.
I think if, I want you to know
that if I didn't have you here right now with me,
I wouldn't be able to get through things
they way I do because I can talk to you.
(laughs)
- No cap.
- That was a lot.
(laughs)
Oh god.
- I think I just answered from both aspects.
- You want me to?
- Yeah, 'cause I think I just answered it like,
- Okay. - From both our standpoints.
- Okay.
If this was the last conversation
that we were to have,
I would want you to not forget that
one, more importantly, that I love you.
But two, I would always want you to remember
to remember yourself,
trust yourself,
look after yourself.
Because in you being,
in you doing all of these things for yourself
you're able to do that
for so many other people around you that need you.
There's a lot of people that need you.
There are a lot of people that look up to you,
there are a lot of people that love you.
And that are crazy about you.
And, oh god!
(laughs)
I'm a cancer.
(laughs)
There are a lot of people that
that need you.
So you have to make sure that you're good first
in all aspects, not just through your skincare.
We love your seven-step skincare routine.
But I need you to make sure that you're happy.
You know, so.
Yeah.
I'm done crying.
(laughs)
- Oh.
I love you.
(laughs)
God.
(laughs)
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