MY NEXT GUEST CALLS HIMSELF A "NEUROTIC PARANOID SCHIZOID
MESTIZO MULATO UNDERACHIEVING OVERACHIEVER!"
PLEASE WELCOME, JOHN LEGUIZAMO!
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
YOU.
>> Stephen: DESERVE-- YOU DESERVE BETTER.
YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS.
LET ME CLEAN UP FOR YOU.
>> WHAT A MESS!
>> Stephen: I'M SORRY, SORRY.
IT'S A FREE-FOR-ALL TONIGHT.
IT'S AWE FREE-FOR-ALL.
LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN, JOHN LEGUIZAMO.
>> YOU'RE LOOSE, YOU'RE FREE, BABY.
>> Stephen: I'M FEELING A LITTLE BIT FREE.
>> YOU DON'T NEED THESE PAPERS.
TOSS THAT STUFF!
>> Stephen: MY QUESTIONS ARE OVER HERE.
>> O'!
HE'S A CLEVER ONE.
>> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS, I HEARD YOU JUST GOT MADE AN ARTS
AMBASSADOR-- >> BY DE BLASIO.
DE NIRO, ALICIA KEYS.
NOW YOU HAVE TO CALL ME "YOUR MAJESTY."
>> Stephen: YOUR EXCELLENCY.
>> I'LL TAKE THAT.
>> Stephen: AND YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET AN HONORARY DEGREE FROM
N.Y.U., I UNDERSTAND.
IS THAT TRUE?
>> YES, IT IS.
BECAUSE I COULDN'T AFFORD IT WHEN I WAS A KID.
IT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE.
THEY WANT ME TO GO, LIKE, AN EXTRA YEAR AT N.Y.U..
I QUIT.
>> Stephen: YOU WENT TO N.Y.U., AND DROPPED OUT BEFORE
YOU GRADUATED.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: WHY DID THEY WANT YOU TO GO AN EXTRA YEAR, JOHN?
>> BECAUSE MY CREDITS -- ARE YOU-- ARE YOU-- WHAT ARE YOU
SAYING, MAN?
>> Stephen: IT IS POSSIBLE-- IT IS POSSIBLE TO FINISH IN FOUR
YEARS.
THEY WANTED YOU TO GO AN EXTRA YEAR OR YOU--
>> MY CREDITS DIDN'T TRANSFER, SIR.
WHAT AM ING BOOK, DEPOSED?
WHAT IS THIS?
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW.
CONGRATULATIONS ON THE NEW SHOW "BLOODLINE."
>> "BLOODLINE "IS FANTASTIC.
A GREAT SHOW.
THANK YOU.
WHAT A CAST!
>> Stephen: YOU PLAY SOMETHING OF A WILD CARD.
>> YEAH, YEAH.
I'M A DARK, NEFARIOUS SORT OF INDIVIDUAL.
>> Stephen: WHO IN IT YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A SOUTHERN ACCENT,
I UNDERSTAND.
IT TAKES PLACE IN FLORIDA.
YOU HAVE A SOUTHERN ACCENT.
>> IT DOES.
AND WHEN I CAME ON THE SHOW I WAS LIKE KYLE CHANDLER IS FROM
GEORGIA, SIS SET FROM SOUTH, SAM SHEPARD IS FROM THE SOUTH.
I GO, "I WANT TO FIT IN."
I DIDN'T WANT TO SOUND LIKE ME FROM QUEENS.
I DIDN'T TELL ANYBODY, AND I STARTED TALKING LIKE THIS
THROUGH THE WHOLE ENTIRE SHOW.
AND KYLE WOULD JUST GET STRANGE AROUND ME BECAUSE HE'D HEAR ME
ON THE PHONE, "WHEN IS MYING ABOUT THE?"
AND I'D GO ( SOUTHERN ACCENT )
LET'S DO THE SEEN.
AND EVERYBODY WAS LIKE, WHAT'S GOING ON.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD SOUTHERN ACCENT FOR A GUY
WHO GREW UP IN QUEENS.
>> SOUTHERN QUEENS.
>> Stephen: MY APOLOGIES.
MY APOLOGIES.
WE HAVE A CLIP HERE OF YOU BEING A LITTLE BIT, UH, I WOULD SAY A
LITTLE BIT THREATENING.
JIM?
>> JUST RELAX, MAN, RELAX.
YOU HAVE NO BALLS, YOU HAVE NO FUN, YOU KNOW?
♪ ♪ ♪ >> WHAT DID I SAY?
I TOLD YOU, I DON'T NEED THESE.
>> WELL, DID YOU LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY WEARING A CONDOM?
IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
>> Stephen: YEAH, I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE IN A CAR WITH YOU.
I WOULD NOT WANT TO BE ALONE.
>> THE SOUTHERN ACCENT MAKES ME FRIENDLIER, THOUGH.
DIDN'T YOU FEEL I WAS FRIENDLIER WITH A SOUTHERN ACCENT.
>> Stephen: NO.
>> I TRIED.
>> Stephen: NO.
BECAUSE I'M FROM THE SOUTH-- >> ARE YOU?
>> Stephen: I'M FROM SOUTH CAROLINA.
>> YOU CAN'T TELL WHAT PART I'M FROM IF I TALK LIKE THIS.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE FROM HOLLYWOOD SOUTH.
>> FAKE, IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
>> Stephen: ENGLISH ACCENT.
IT'S A SOUTHERN ACCENT BUT IT'S VERY GOOD.
>> ( SOUTHERN ACCENT )
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
I WORKED REALLY HARD.