Have you ever had a crush on someone that you were planning on asking out eventually but
you started to notice something weird going on.
Maybe it was that your crush was liking your friend's photos a lot or
you started to notice a flirty exchange between the two of them
and that got you wondering, does my crush like my friend and if they do what do I do about it?
This might seem like one of those worst-case scenarios but trust me
there is something that you can do to handle it so that it won't sting so much
and you might actually have a chance with your crush.
Heya playa, my name is Josh and every single week I make videos
teaching you how to build better relationships and be your best self.
Now look, coming to the realization that your crush likes your friend is a hard one
but follow along because I'm going to teach you exactly what you need to do.
The first step you're going to want to take here is to talk to your friend and
let them know about your feelings for your crush.
I know, it might feel kind of awkward and weird opening up to them and just
letting them know all the romantic feelings you have deep inside but
letting them know how you feel is going to allow both of you to be on the same page.
If your friend knows how you feel and how much this person means to you
they may approach that situation a little bit more mindfully.
That might mean not outright flirting back with your crush or leading them
on in a way that makes your crush think that your friend likes them.
Come on man I just saw her last post with you. I just, look.
I've had a crush on her for a long time and I was planning on asking her out. I just
haven't done it yet but I'm planning on doing it you know and I just
wish you can kind of give me a little bit of space to kind of ask her out you know?
If she likes you okay, then she likes you but I just want a chance.
Now that your feelings are out there you're also
gonna have to see how your friend feels about the whole situation too.
They may also like your crush and that might create some tense moments
between the two of you and rules having to be set.
There's an idea known as the "bro code" and that basically means that if your friend likes
someone you're not gonna go behind your friend's back and ask that person out.
But feelings can be complicated and tricky sometimes.
What do you mean you like her too? Dude I told you like a year ago
that I liked her and I wanted to go out with her so like that's really not cool man.
Yeah
One thing you're gonna have to remember here is that just because
your friend decides to respect your boundaries and not pursue your crush
that doesn't mean your crush is going to automatically stop liking them.
Now, look just because your crush likes
your friend doesn't mean that you should stop pursuing them.
As you put yourself out there more and get to know your crush better you create more
opportunities and reasons to like you over your friend or anyone else for that matter.
So, don't give up just because you think your crush has decided they want to go
out with your friend. You still have a shot in the race as long as you're
willing to put yourself out there and pursue them.
But let's say it just isn't working out the way you anticipated. Despite your friend's
best efforts to not engage and to not flirt back with your crush, your crush still likes them,
and even worse now your friend is starting to like your crush too so what do you do?
How do you contend with the fact that the two of them might potentially go out?
Let's take a deep breath and face the reality of the situation they can choose to go out and
be together, but you can choose how much of that you want to know about and be a part of.
Now, sometimes it can be a little bit more complicated maybe your friend starts to
bring your crush around to hang out with you guys and you just start to see the
two of them be all lovey-dovey together and it can hit you right in the feels.
I give up on the internet today.
This is where it makes sense for you to start setting those clear boundaries.
It's okay to skip things if the two of them are involved and you feel like you're gonna be a third
wheel or if sometimes you just feel sad about the idea that your crush is dating someone else.
It's okay to opt-out of stuff and to not always be a part of everything.
Part of accepting a situation that you don't like is to realize that your options are not limited.
You still have choices outside of that situation so
in this event it might make more sense for you to start to pursue other people.
To start to devote some of that mental energy towards other potential crushes you can talk to
get to know and eventually date.
It's only when you take a step back from your feelings towards your crush
and you start to pursue other people that you begin to realize how much
of an emotional hold this one person had on you.
And trust me on this, you have a lot of love and care to offer other people so don't allow
the stress of your crush not liking you back to prevent you from offering that to other people.
I know it sucks and it stings and it hurts to be in the position that you're in but the best way
for you to heal and move forward is to let your friend know how you feel, to let your crush know
how you feel, to accept that the two of them are going to move on in their own path and to
find your way forward in a positive healthy way that's going to lead you to pursue someone new.
If your friend does have a crush on the same person that you do and you're not really sure
how to approach that conversation with them, how to set guidelines and boundaries for who
should ask them out first or when is it okay for the next person to jump in, check out the video
over there on the side where I'm gonna break down some of those rules that you can establish and set
up so that you don't tear your friendship apart and you don't lose that person from your life.
Check it out and I'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.