♪ ♪
♪ >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,
EVERYBODY.
AS YOU KNOW, DUE TO THE PANDEMIC, THE RELEASE OF A LOT
OF BIG HOLLYWOOD MOVIES HAVE BEEN DELAYED.
IN FACT, WE EVEN HAD TO DELAY THE RELEASE OF A SEGMENT I SHOT
SIX MONTHS AGO ABOUT THE DELAYED RELEASE OF BIG HOLLYWOOD MOVIES.
THANKFULLY, I CAN FINALLY SHOW IT TO YOU NOW.
HERE'S A CONVERSATION I HAD A FEW MONTHS AGO WITH MY DEAR OLD
FRIEND STEVE CARELL.
WE'RE HERE WITH OUR FRIEND STEVE CARELL.
STEVE, THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE TONIGHT.
>> YEAH, WHATEVER.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
YOU KNOW, STEVE, YOU ALWAYS HAVE SO MANY PROJECTS GOING AT THE
SAME TIME, SUCH A BUSY MAN, BUT, YOU KNOW, UNFORTUNATELY, SO MANY
PROJECTS ARE BEING DELAYED RIGHT NOW, AND EVEN FILMS THAT ARE
SHOW AREN'T BEING RELEASED BECAUSE THERE ARE NO THEATERS
OPEN.
>> YEAH, IT'S A TRICKY SITUATION.
>> Stephen: WELL SAID.
NOW, YOU AND I -- >> (LAUGHING).
>> Stephen: I REALIZE I DIDN'T ASK YOU A QUESTION I JUST LEFT A
SPACE IN THE SENTENCE FOR YOU TO FILL IN.
SO I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR BEING SLIGHTLY TAS TURN IN YOUR
RESPONSE.
THAT'S ON ME.
>> (LAUGHING) BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, I THINK I'M PLAYING THE
CHARACTER OF, HEY, I'M GOING TO BE THE GUEST WHO'S NOT GOING TO
HELP HIM OUT.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: NOW, HERE'S THE
THING, ALL THESE MOVIES ARE BEING PUSHED, YOU KNOW, AND
THEY'RE NOT BEING RELEASED, AND SOME PEOPLE MAY NEVER SEE THESE
MOVIES, THEY MAY NEVER BE RELEASED, INCLUDING ALL THE
MOVIES YOU AND I MADE IN THE LAST YEAR.
>> AND WE HAVE A LOT.
>> Stephen: SO MANY I FORGOT -- A, I FORGOT THAT WE
MADE THEM.
>> I EKNOW, BUT THEY WERE FUN TO WORK ON WITH YOU.
>> Stephen: I REMEMBER ENJOYING DOING THEM, BUT I DON'T
REMEMBER WHAT THEY WERE, WHAT THEY WERE CALLED, WHO WE PLAYED
OR WHAT THE PLOT WAS.
>> YEAH, IT'S ALL A BLUR.
>> Stephen: THANKFULLY, MY GRAPHICS DEPARTMENT MADE UP
POSTERS FOR ALL THESE MOVIES THAT NEITHER YOU NOR I CAN
REMEMBER AND WE'LL TRY TO REMEMBER THE MOVIES NOW BY
LOOKING AT THE POSTERS.
ARE YOU PREPARED TO DO THIS?
>> YEAH, THIS WILL BE A NICE TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE.
>> Stephen: WELL, GOOD, BECAUSE THIS IS "MAYBE COMING
SOON."
♪ ♪
WELCOME TO "MAYBE COMING SOON" WHERE STEVE AND I WILL LOOK AT
MOVIE POSTERS FROM MOVIES WE MADE THAT WE CAN'T REMEMBER AND
TRY TO REMEMBER.
JIM, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE FIRST POSTER.
WHAT DID STEVE AND I DO?
THE DRACULA PILL.
THIS DRUG COULD UNLEASH YOUR BRAIN'S POTENTIAL TO BE DRACULA.
>> OH, MY GOD I FOUGHT SO HARD FOR FIRST BILLING ON THIS.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
REMEMBER, WE WENT BACK AND FORTH, DRACULA PILL,
COLBERT-CARELL OR CARELL-COLBERT.
WAS MY NAME GOING TO BE FIRST BUT LOWER AND YOUR NAME WAS
GOING TO BE SECOND BUT HIGHER?
AND I THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ACQUIESCING ON THAT.
>> Stephen: WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME, YOU KNOW.
WE EACH GAVE UP SOMETHING, YOU KNOW.
WE EACH GIVE SOMETHING.
I REMEMBER YOU WANTED YOUR NAME TO BE IN THAT DRIPPY BLOOD FONT
FROM THE MUNSTERS, AND I SAID, NO, BUT I'M DRACULA, WHY WOULD
YOU GET THE DRIPPY BLOOD FONT.
>> YEAH, WELL, YOU WERE THE TITLE CHARACTER.
>> Stephen: SURE, I AM.
ROGER PILL.
>> WELL, LET'S JUST BREAK DOWN THE PREMISE ITSELF.
AS A SCIENTIST, I DEVELOPED THIS EENORMOUS PILL THAT I AM GOING
TO USE AS A SUPPOSITORY TO TURN PEOPLE INTO VAMPIRES.
I MEET YOU AT THE HEALTH CLUB BUN WAY, HELLO, MY NAME IS ROGER
PILL.
>> Stephen: I'M ON THE SQUAT MACHINE.
>> RIGHT, WHICH STRUCK MY CHARACTER --
>> Stephen: AS HANDY.
WHAT'S THAT?
>> Stephen: AS HANDY.
( LAUGHTER ) JIM.
>> OH, THAT BIONIC EYE.
THAT THING WAS -- THAT THING WAS THE DEATH OF ME.
>> Stephen: A NIGHTMARE.
HOW MANY HOURS IN THE MAKEUP CHAIR EVERY DAY?
>> IT WAS LIKE 16 HOURS A DAY OF MAKEUP.
THEY'D ACTUALLY FOLD MY ACTUAL EYEBALL OUT TO THE SIDE SO THEY
COULD FIND A RECESS WITHIN MY EYE SOCKET TO PUT THAT LIGHT
UNIT.
>> Stephen: WHY NOT DO IT DIGITALLY.
>> WELL, RIGHT.
I THINK THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN EASIER ON ME, BUT THE
PRODUCERS -- AND I WAS A PRODUCER, SO I COULD HAVE SAID
SOMETHING.
>> Stephen: BUT NO ONE COULD UNDERSTAND A DAMN WORD YOU WERE
SAYING OVER THE SCREAMING BECAUSE IT WAS JUST HORRIBLE TO
LOOK AT, HORRIBLE PROCESS TO LOOK AT, AND ON A CERTAIN LEVEL,
I'M GLAD THIS ONE'S NOT COMING OUT.
SAD.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: YEP.
LAURA WAS GREAT IN THIS, TOO.
>> Stephen: SHE MADE MARMEE.
HUH?
YOU WERE GOING TO SAY.
>> Stephen: MARMEE.
YES.
>> Stephen: JIM?
OH, MAN!
>> Stephen: I AM DYING FOR THIS ONE TO COME OUT.
>> ME, TOO!
THIS ONE -- AH!
THIS ONE, I REMEMBER REALLY WELL.
REMEMBER?
>> Stephen: YES, WHEN -- OKAY --
>> Stephen: YOU -- GO AHEAD.
>> Stephen: NO.
PLEASE, START.
>> THAT SHARK.
>> Stephen: THAT SHARK.
I REMEMBER -- >> Stephen: SO FUNNY.
HE SMELLED SO BAD!
(LAUGHING) YOU WERE, LIKE, I'M GOING TO GRAB THE FRONT OF THE
SHARK.
I'M, LIKE, OKAY, YOU SPELL THAT SHARK'S BREATH!
>> Stephen: THE SHARK WAS -- I MEAN, BAD BREATH!
>> Stephen: AND I WAS, LIKE, WHY CAN'T SOMEBODY WASH THIS
SHARK BEFORE WE SHOOT?
THEY'RE, LIKE, IT'S LIVING IN WATER, IT'S ALWAYS BEING WASHED.
>> IT'S GOING TO SMELL, NO MATTER WHAT WE DO.
>> Stephen: OH, GOSH!
AND TRYING TO GET THE SHARK FROM ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO,
FOR THE -- >> Stephen: FOR THE BIG
CONCERT.
>> FOR THE CONCERT.
( LAUGHTER ) THIS WHOLE THING WAS JUMP A JOY.
>> Stephen: SOMETIMES YOU'RE ASKED TO LEARN THINGS FOR A
MOVIE OR A PROJECT, LIKE, YOU KNOW, KEANU REEVES HAD TO LEARN
KUNG FU FOR THE MATRIX MOVIES.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: AND YOU AND I BOTH HAD TO LEARN HOW TO TAG GREAT
WHITE SHARKS.
>> AND I'LL NEVER FORGET IT.
THAT WAS FUN.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
IT WAS FUN.
AND JOSEPH, WHO ORIGINALLY TAUGHT US HOW TO DO IT.
>> Stephen: YASH, HE WILL BE MISSED.
>> HE WAS A WONDERFUL MAN.
AND I -- >> Stephen: YOU AND HE REALLY
HIT IT OFF.
THE TWO OF YOU -- I WAS A LITTLE JEALOUS HOW THE TWO OF YOU HIT
IT OFF.
>> I WISH WE HADN'T BECAUSE THEN WHEN WE LOST HIM, IT WAS THAT
MUCH MORE PAINFUL.
I WISH I HAD SORT OF KEPT MY DISTANCE.
I DO THAT NOW.
I DON'T GET CLOSE TO PEOPLE ESPECIALLY IF THEY'RE DOING
SOMETHING DANGEROUS.
>> Stephen: WITH SHARKS?
I JUST -- >> Stephen: I'M NOT GOING TO
WIN ANY FRIENDS FOR SAYING THIS, I MIGHT GET BLOWBACK FOR SAYING
THIS, BUT I THINK HE, ON A CERTAIN LEVEL, HAD IT COMING.
HE WAS ASKING FOR IT.
>> MM-HMM.
>> Stephen: HE GOES IN -- HE GOES IN TO THE SHARK TANK, AND
WE'RE, LIKE, TAKE OFF YOUR LUCKY HAM.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: HE'S, LIKE, NO.
NO.
IT'S ALWAYS -- IT'S ALWAYS BEEN GOOD FOR ME BEFORE.
>> HE CARED ABOUT THAT HAM TOO MUCH AND AT THE EXPENSE OF HIS
LIFE.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
DEDICATED.
THIS MOVIE'S DEDICATED TO HIM.
>> WELL, THAT WAS ACTUALLY TAKEN OFF AT THE END.
>> Stephen: REALLY?
WE DIDN'T -- WELL, IT'S SO -- THE MOVIE'S SO MUCH FUN.
>> Stephen: RIGHT.
AND IT'S JUST THE HI JINX AND IT'S SUCH A FARCE THAT WE DIDN'T
WANT TO END WITH THAT BECAUSE WE THOUGHT --
>> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT JUST INSTEAD OF, LIKE, NO ANIMALS
WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS MOVIE, BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE.
WHAT ABOUT SOMETHING SIMPLE LIKE THAT?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WELL, STEVE, A JOY.
LISTEN, WE'VE GOT TO -- I'LL SEE YOU AT ALL THESE PREMIERES, IF
ANY OF THEM COME OUT.
>> I CANNOT -- I CAN'T WAIT FOR AAQUARIUM.
>> Stephen: MIGHT HAVE TO.
IT'S A GOOD ONE.
>> Stephen: WE'RE BEING SUED BY JOE'S FAMILY.
JUST -- AND THEY'VE GOT A GOOD CASE.
THEY'VE GOT A DAMN GOOD CASE.
STEVE, PEACE, MY BROTHER.
>> YOU, TOO, TAKE CARE.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU, STEVE CARELL.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A PERFORMANCE BY SARA BAREILLES.
♪ ♪