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- [Speaker] Hey Psych2gos welcome back to our channel.
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When you think of the people you love,
who comes to mind first?
Is that your family members, your best friend,
or a significant other.
What about you?
Self love is important.
It's important for leading a happy, healthy life.
Unfortunately, the concept of self love is often overlooked
and misunderstood.
In a world that grows more demanding stressful
and complex day by day,
self-love might be something you're struggling with.
So let's talk about eight things he needs to know
about self-love.
Number one self-love is not a linear process.
The process of loving yourself will have ups and downs.
On this journey you will probably have days
where you feel great, energized, and positive,
but also know that there will be days where you don't,
and that's more than okay.
Even when you consciously practice self-love,
you may sometimes feel grumpy, tired, anxious, sad, lonely
or defeated.
On those days, remember that you're human,
in the process of growing,
and allowed to feel the full range
of emotions on any given day.
Life is hard, and there's absolutely nothing wrong
with taking the bad, with the good.
Part of loving yourself is feeling
and expressing these emotions without criticizing yourself.
Self-love is a complex process full of leaps forward
and steps back.
Each day that you choose to keep going,
and choose to love yourself, you're making amazing progress,
even if you don't feel like it.
Number two, we are conditioned by society to believe
that self love is selfish.
How many times have you stepped back
from a commitment and instantly felt guilty?
How often do you say no to someone
and feel self-absorbed?
Feeling this way is normal and totally understandable
because society has led us to believe
that prioritizing our own needs is selfish,
but this is not true.
Despite everything that society has told you,
taking care of your own needs is one
of the most important things you can do.
Your health and happiness are yours to protect and maintain.
Taking the steps to do so is never selfish.
Number three, self love is not a rapid process.
Think of the people you love most,
that it takes some time to love them firmly and completely.
When you begin to learn how to love yourself,
it may take some time for you to feel it understand
though that similar to loving other people,
loving yourself is a process and a journey.
It may not, and probably won't happen overnight,
and that's okay.
Do you tend to dwell on your flaws?
We wanna remind you that your flaws are
what make you unique.
They're part of what makes you the wonderful human
that you are.
Number four, self love is important
because it opens even more doors for you to give
and receive love.
Have you ever heard that phrase or versions
of it where they say love yourself first?
It's true, the way you love yourself shows others
how to love you.
According to licensed marriage and family therapist,
John Kim from Psychology Today,
forming a healthy relationship with yourself,
that is full of care, understanding, compassion,
and healthy boundaries, will help you achieve that kind
of relationship with yourself, and others.
Number five, uncovering the sources
of healing can be difficult.
Are you in the process of emotionally healing?
If so, you should be proud that you're taking the steps
to heal, for it isn't easy.
Like self-love, healing not only takes time,
but it's also very complex.
Unraveling possible years of bury trauma is daunting.
If you become overwhelmed during this process,
know that you aren't alone,
digging deep, and healing from past wounds,
or reoccurring ones can be an overwhelming process.
Part of self-love and practicing self-care,
is knowing when to step back in the healing process.
Though it may be very tempting to keep pushing,
remember that part
of loving yourself is acknowledging your own boundaries,
and this is especially important in healing,
in order to avoid uncovering memories
and moments in ways that may wound you further.
Number six, self-love means is giving permission
to accept your own compassion.
Have you ever noticed the negative connotation
that's around self-compassion,
perhaps disguised as making excuses
or feeling sorry for yourself.
The truth is that one of the greatest sources
of strength is being able to have kindness
and compassion for your own experiences in life.
We have this unfortunate quality
to automatically blame ourselves.
When things go wrong,
if you didn't get a job or get into your college pick,
you tend to believe that you aren't qualified enough.
If a friend is mad at you, you tend to blame yourself first,
rather than objectively examining the situation.
This could lead to lower self esteem,
more negative self-talk,
and even self-loathing, if it goes unchecked.
Self-compassion is something that lives inside of you,
rather than suppressing it for the sake of others.
The more you consciously accept the understanding
and kindness you want to offer yourself,
the more your self-esteem and confidence will grow.
Number seven, self-love means following the yearnings
of your own heart,
even if that's not what others want.
Have you ever felt obligated to do something
because you were being pressured by others.
To take up a certain hobby
or go down a certain career path that you didn't want.
While there complacency might seem to resolve differences
and issues in the short term,
it can leave you unfulfilled later on,
part of loving yourself, is giving yourself the right,
to follow your own dreams and your own heart,
no matter what others have to say.
Those who judge you or impose their dreams
on you also have their own chances to take,
your personal passions are strong and beautiful.
They're unique to you,
that which makes your heart sing is yours to cling to.
You deserve to feel happy and fulfilled,
no matter what others have to say.
And number eight,
self-love isn't always fun.
Sometimes self love is hard,
it's doing what's best for you
even if it doesn't necessarily excite you at the moment.
Self love can be going to bed early,
when you know tomorrow is an important day.
Choosing to stay in so you can finish an assignment,
or saying no to a loved one, so you can have time for rest.
You have sat down and are respecting your own boundaries,
and that is a great thing.
Sometimes in order to love yourself you have
to prioritize what is best for you, and make sacrifices.
The sheer ability to do this confirms,
just how much you have your best interest at heart.
What are your thoughts on self-love,
and how do you practice it?
Let us know in the comments below,
please like and share this video if it helped you,
and you think it could help someone else too.
The studies and references used are listed
in the description below.
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