Ah, yeah... this is, a... cool party, Ian...
Oh! Thanks!
Nah, I was joking, this party blows.
I know...
Oh! Do you guys wanna play like a board game or something? I got uhh, Balderdash, or uhh, ooh! How about Yahtzee?
Oh! I got an idea!
Yeah?
How about NOTzee?
Did you just say Nazi?
Oh...
Yeah, dude, I'm Jewish...
Yeah...
Holy Hell, my party blows...
[doorbell]
You guys???
No...
Oh, what the hell?!
Oh, Jesus!
[crowd cheering]
ARE THOSE ALIENS?!?
Greetings, Earthlings!
They're here to probe us!
Oh, no... we did not travel 47 million lightyears just to probe you... rather we've come to help you get this party [all in sync] turnt up!
How? I- I'm all ears.
We bring a gift! The known universe's newest dance craze, [in sync] the IntergalacWHIP.
The... Intergalacwhip?
Well, you know what? If it helps save my party, go right on ahead.
You heard the Earthling! Jizzlepits, hit it!
I got dis!
[music plays]
So, you wanna learn the Intergalacwhip? Galacwhip? [pew, pew!] Galacwhip!
So, you wanna learn... the Intergalacwhip? The dance craze sweeping from Mars to Zarachnid.
Your party's a black hole, so flip that waxrim, don't take no lightyear to get the knack fit.
First, you flip around your fists like a nasty boy, now orbit your hips to be a fly humanoid!
Do those wormholes, rewind! Forward, rewind!
Now, hands on your knees as we creep up behind-- [turntable stop]
NO! NO! NO.
Uhh...
I-- is there a problem?
Yeah... yeah, I'd say so, it just kinda seemed like you were getting us into position to...
to probe us...
Uh! Wahw! Paranoid much?
Dude, what's with you and probing?
Yeah, man, this is just a harmless dance craze from outer space bro!
Alright! Yeah you're right guys, I'm paranoid... Continue!
Thank you!
Jizzlepits?
'Lez do 'is!
[music playing]
So, you wanna learn the Intergalacwhip? Galacwhip? [pew, pew!] Galacwhip!
The twist of your hips and the worm and back! So now we gonna add a couple new moves to dat!
Let me see you one time... do the Spacewalk! [music]
Let me see you one time... do the Space Rock! [rock music playing]
Hands to the stars, now hands to the floor... now stay in that position while we insert the-- [turntable stop]
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NOOO!!!
What now?
[crowd cheering]
You were definitely gonna probe us that time...
Probe you? That's ridiculous!
Ok... uh... yeah! Uhh, quick what's another word that rhymes with globe?
Uhh...
Globe?
You were gonna rhyme globe with globe?
Oh, so the Drake can do it but the Aliens can't?
Wha-- what?
So the lyrics were gonna be stay in this position while we insert the globe?
Okay, okay! Do you want us to finish teaching you the Intergalacwhip or not?
Okay!
Alright, fine! But you gotta stay away from our butts, that's rule number one through infinity.
Oh kay! How 'bout another song, then? There's more than one hit dance craze in the universe!
Yes! Yes, another, another song, cool?
[all agreeing]
Alright!
Certainly, certainly! Uhh, uhh, dah, Jizzlepits?
Hell yeah!
C'mon!
Me?
Yeah, you, you!
[music]
Watch me whip, whip, now watch me intergalactic!
Now watch me dip, dip! Now watch me into your ass crick!
Oh!
No!
Nohohohoho!!!
No!!!
That time was just blatant!
What did we do?
Uhh, you literally said you were gonna enter my ass crack!
That's... that's one of the things...
Alright...
[sad and depressing music that makes you sad starts playing]
Yes, it's true...
[the music keeps playing as you start to well with tears]
We were sent here on a mission to probe you.
But we came 47 million lightyears...
We were conducting research that could potentially save more lives than your measly human brains can comprehend.
And here we are trying to make it FUN for you guys...
AND EVEN THOUGH...
WE'RE HERE TO PROBE YOUR RECTUMS.
A LITTLE PART OF ME REALLY HOPED THAT, YOUR SPECIES AND OURS COULD BECOME...
[all in sync] FRIENDS!
[crowd cheering as if they liked Olivia's voice]
[Courtney cracking up]
[Anthony is having too much fun...]
[crowd cheering very loudly...]
Guys? Guys can I say something?
Listen...
That small one really got to me. ^-^
[crowd laughing]
You 4 aliens...
You guys can probe me!
Wow...
Wow, Noah...
That's uhh...
That's quite the offer...
Yeah...
And to think, I mean...
Nobody...
Even asked you to do that...
[swallow] Yeah, you just...
Just stepped forward
"Hey, probe me!"
No, uhh... no one even asked you to, just willingly...
Willingly, to an uncomfortable degree...
Ok... can we just save this nitpicking for my butthole?
Cuz... I dunno if you guys have been paying attention, but there are ALIENS from OUTER SPACE in this house and now there's four of them that wanna probe my butthole, so honestly...
I love you!
This is the coolest thing that has ever happened to me...
Uh... I [pfff]
Would you rather we go back to the party sucking and instead you two can get probed and I'll just head home...
No!
No, no, no, it's cool, man!
Uh, you uhh...
Real champ...
Dude!
Get out there!
You do it, man!
Super brave of you!
So...
Just gonna, get to it?
Indeed! Jizzlepits?
Hands to the globe, Noah!
Let's dance!
[Intergalacwhip music]
[crowd cheering very loudly...]
Hey guys! Thank you so much for watching SMOSH LIVE!
And HUGE thanks to 5 Gum for making this whole thing possible!
#5TruthorDare