You might talk to a girl outside on the street or wherever, at a store
And they don't feel like talking to you
Well it's not because you're ugly
It's because they're sick and tired of guys coming up to them and then
Saying something like "how are you?" or "what's up?" and then putting the burden onto them?
Hey it's Min Liu from The Art Of Verbal War
Where people learn to excel in verbal skills
Today's video is called Don't Ever Start A Conversation This Way
And I want to teach you this because it's so important
The way that most people start conversations is literally the most uncharismatic
Uninteresting, "I don't have anything better to say" type of way of starting a conversation
For example have you ever had somebody kind of come into your office at work and just say:
"Hey, how are you?"
Or you know if you're a girl, and you're at a bar or a club
And some guy comes up to you and just says "what's up"
I call these conversation starters "content- less conversation starters"
And they're just Uninteresting, uncharismatic
And they're not the way you want to start a conversation with another person
People think that it's polite to start a conversation this way
That it's polite to say "hey, how are you?"
But actually, let me give you a contrarian view
It's actually very impolite
And I actually hate it when somebody comes to me and says "how are you?"
Why?! well because they're putting the burden of making conversation on you?
They're initiating the conversation
But they're actually not getting the ball rolling
And instead you're forced to make conversation with them
And so that's actually quite impolite, right?
I mean, it's kind of like somebody buying you a birthday cake
But they don't actually buy candles and they don't actually bring matches
I mean you guess it's birthday cake and you're happy
But then, what are you supposed to do with it?
This is the same reason why sometimes you may go to a club or a bar?
You might talk to a girl outside on the street or wherever at a store
And they don't feel like talking to you
Well, it's not because you're ugly
It's because they're sick and tired of guys coming up to them
And then saying something like "how are you?" or "what's up?"
And then putting the burden on to them
If you start a conversation with someone
Including a girl or anybody really, you own it
It's kind of like those signs and like a store, where they say "If you break it you buy it"
Well, if you start a conversation you own it
I mean I would actually so much rather that someone starts a conversation with me
With like something crazy like "Hey man you're looking uglier than usual today"
Than "how are you?"
I mean at least I have something to work with
You're getting me the birthday cake, you're getting me the candles and the matches
I know what I'm supposed to do with this cake, right?
So you're probably asking me now: instead of "how are you?" or "what's up?"
What can I say instead to start a conversation?
Well it's very easy, there's actually two simple ways that you can start a conversation
That aren't spectacular, but they're just ordinary ways to get the ball rolling
And that's all you need to do to move a conversation into somewhere better
Instead of starting it from nowhere.
The first simple way to start a conversation is literally just making observation
Making observation about the other person
Or about the circumstances that both of you are in
You can literally say something mean like "hey man, you're looking ugly today"
Like I just suggested, right?
Although you don't want to usually take it that far
So the second way to start a conversation that's not content-less
Is just merely to make a statement
Like "you know I'm having the best day today"
That way the other person has something to react to
Now these two ways I've just taught you to start a conversation are good ways, but they're not great ways
They're not ways that move what I call "a slow lane conversation"
Into what I call "a fast lane conversation"
Now if you're interested in learning how to have fast lane conversations
Check out my conversation manifesto at
www.artofverbalwar.com/manifesto
And I'll send that over to you right away
Okay, that's it for today, but before I go raise your right hand and repeat after me.
I will never use a content-less conversation starter again
You guys got that?
Okay, this is Min Liu from The Art Of Verbal War signing off
Please give this video a Like
And if you have any ideas about how you like to start conversations
Please share them in the comments
Okay, I'll see you guys next time