Don't do it. Do this instead.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm a narcissist negotiation expert, a lawyer and
I have also dealt with narcissists in my life,
a couple of them, very close to me and
I know narcissists first hand unfortunately,
I've learned the hard way and
I'm here to teach you, I'm here to tell you,
I'm here to show you, I have resources and
I want you to have the benefit of what I have learned.
So, if you are so ready to shift that power dynamic and
actually be on the offensive instead of the defensive,
I invite you to subscribe to this channel and
hit that notification bell.
Okay, so I know you feel like saying,
“Oh my God, you are such a narcissist”,
but I'm telling you what,
anything that you tell them, anything you plant in your brain,
they're going to turn around and
they're going to say that's what you are,
that's what you're going to become,
they love to project onto you what you call them,
they love to project and deflect,
not only are they going to start calling you that,
they're going to tell everybody that that's what you are,
they're going to go on this tirade,
they're going to gaslight you, manipulate you,
they're going to come after you on it,
they're going to have a full on meltdown because
they have no sense of self,
they are extremely extremely sensitive,
you know how they are, they love to dish it out,
but they can't take it,
you know that old that old saying, that's them
like but like on steroids.
So, they will go after you, they have that narcissistic injury,
so when they get triggered,
they're definitely going to have that narcissistic rage come flying out and
will come crazily after you or go after everybody else and
you know how they are,
I mean, you're either for them or against them and
if you are against them, you become public enemy number one,
for narcissists, everything is black and white,
you're either wonderful, or you're horrible,
they either love you or they hate you and
once they start to lose control,
it can get really, really bad and by the way,
if you want to know what the signs are
that a narcissist is starting to lose control
I recommend that you check out my video on that topic.
So, once they start to realize, by the way,
that you're calling them names,
then they start to think, “Oh my God, they're onto me” and
now they're going to start into that maybe discard face and
that's when you start to see
the birth of the smear campaign,
that's when they start to line up their flying monkeys and
they go start telling their friends and
it's not going to end well for you and no point, by the way,
Will they ever go “You know what, maybe you're right”?
that self-reflection,
“Maybe I have been too hard on you”,
“Maybe I didn't treat you the way that I should”,
that's not going to happen.
So it's just wasted effort, wasted breath for you,
you're not going to have that closure,
you're not going to get that apology, not the real one,
not the one that you think that you want,
so you're not going to get that,
here's what you should do instead.
Okay, these are actually techniques that
will get you what you want, which is so much better anyway,
especially when you're going to negotiate with them,
which is what I teach, okay?
I know it would be great to get them to say “I'm sorry”,
to actually have them feel remorse,
to actually have them self-reflect and
feel what they did to you,
it ain't gonna happen.
So, you need to focus on the endgame.
What is it that you want, other than that?
Other than having a lobotomy and
having them replant into a different person?
So, is it money? Is it your children?
What do you need to have your situation resolved?
Focus on that, create your vision, create your outcome,
What is it that you need? and focus on that,
If it's a negotiation, ask for more than you want,
back into getting less than that,
that throw them off the scent of what you actually want,
if you tell them exactly what you want,
then they're certainly not going to give that to you and
by the way, if you think that you're going to say,
“Oh look at me, I'm going to be nice,
I'm going to give you your retirement plan” and
have them think you're giving them some sort of capital
and they're going to think that,
or recognize that, acknowledge that and
think that you're being nice and
No, they're not.
They're just going to take that and
that's going to be gone and
they're going to expect more
so, you don't give up your leverage by the way,
especially at the beginning, you hold on to it and
potentially use it down the road when you might need it and
if you're trying to get them to do something,
maybe what you want to do,
is something that I call narcissistic bartering,
you fluff up their ego,
to get them to do something that you want them to do
like, “Oh, can you take care of the books, mow the lawn?
You're so much better at it than I am”
or “You're so much smarter than I am”
or “You're so much better at painting”
whatever it is.
You fluff up their ego
so that you can get them to do something and
you make sure that you don't have any sort of tone in your voice,
no sort of sarcastic tone,
you make sure that you're very careful
not to say anything about your abilities
or that you're good in any way because
they don't want to hear about that.
This is giving them something that they desperately need,
which is adulation, that narcissistic supply,
the narcissist is driven by one thing and one thing only, and
that is narcissistic supply.
So, if you want to get something from them,
you have to give them something.
So, these are all things that you can do
instead of calling them out and saying,
“Hey, you're a narcissist” because by doing that,
you're honestly just cutting off your nose to spite your face and
it will come back at you, it will come back to bite you,
it will not serve you, it will not get you what you want,
it’s not even going to get you any kind of satisfaction,
it will, in fact, hurt you way more than it will serve you.
So, instead use these other techniques that I just gave you,
especially if you are going to negotiate with them
because that will get you further down the road
of where you want to go and
just remember to keep your vibrational energy high,
keep your mind where you want it to be,
create those boundaries, keep your vision,
stay where you want to go,
join my free private Facebook group,
because there is a place where you can go,
join my Narcslayers Club,
go to Slayernegotiation/jointheclub,
come join my club and
get my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet,
you can do that.
There are so many things that you can do,
to keep your mind focused on where you want to be focused
so that you don't fall down into that pattern
of being sucked back in by that narcissist, okay?
So, there are so many things that you can do instead,
focus on the end game, right?
If you like this video, give it a like, give it a share,
make sure you subscribe to this channel and
hit that notification bell.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
I am so glad that you stopped by today.
Remember today is a great day to start negotiating your best life;
I've seen you guys write in the comments
saying I'm negotiating my best life and
I love to see that.
I will see you in the next video.